Rehearsal Room

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Dancing  SOLO   Finished 

Cecily was alone. She was not lonely, though, as she thrived in solitude. She was also not antisocial in the strictest sense, but she preferred an empty classroom to a full one. She wasn't the best with people, and she was seriously beginning to doubt if she had any real friends so far in Hogwarts. Sure, there were a few students that she had talked to a few times, even purposefully held conversations with, but it was difficult to live in the same castle as so many other students Cecily's age and not speak to any of them. If pressed, she might admit to considering a few fellow students "friends"-- particularly Amadea Campbell and Adam Harringtom, two of the only people she'd had multiple conversations with-- but Cecily often wondered if the would put her in the same category. It was clear that at Hogwarts, the aloof Ravenclaw's sorely-lacking social skills were beginning to show. She had been spending most of her time in the library, perched in the Owlrey window, or simply wandering the halls. None of those things really shouted "Come talk to me!", but Cecily didn't mind that for the first few months she was at school. She had her books; her curiosity; and, at the risk of sounding like a cliche Ravenclaw, her homework and classes to keep her busy. She wasn't concerned about missing out on the "experiences" her mother wanted her to have at Hogwarts, besides the whole magic thing. To Cecily, that was adventure enough.

On this particular hall-wandering day, Cecily found herself outside of the rehearsal room, humming an old-fashioned American musical. She took after her father, preferring American showtunes over her mother's preferred Irish pop/rock. She had been listening to more modern musicals lately, like Chicago, and historical-- Hamilton and Newsies-- but just before she left, her father had introduced her to some of the older ones, like Phantom of the Opera and CATS. The musical she was now humming was entitled Hello, Dolly!, and it was one of her favorites to date.

Put your hand on her waist, and stand
With her right in your left hand, and
1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3...

Cecily closed her eyes and spun around the room. She could almost hear the orchestra playing the three-step in her head, feel another hand grasping hers. She so vividly remembered dancing around their small kitchen with her father on the day she was to leave for Hogwarts, this song playing in the background. A ghost of a smile flitted across her face, giving way to a grin as she thought about her family back at home.

My head is about to burst,
My heart is about to pop, and
Now that I'm dancing who cares if I ever stop?

Suddenly, Cecily stopped. She dropped her arms and smile and opened her eyes, immediately transported out of her fantasy world-- though Hogwarts itself was a fantasy world to be reckoned with, it was not the one she wished she could be a part of at this very moment.

Suddenly, Cecily felt very lonely.

Last edited by Cecily Quinn on 7th June 2018, 2:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

-- Cecily Quinn --
and until we meet again.

Dancing  SOLO   Finished 

There was one thing the Cecily heard in her voice every day without fail: loneliness. Apparently, the aloof girl could be content when she was by herself, but Loneliness grabbed her with his thorny fingers and strangled her while she was in a crowd. She had tried to convince herself it was a lie, she was fine, she didn't need friends. She had grown up friendless-- why should she have to make that sort of change now? Cecily didn't have any friends outside of her family at home. She was homeschooled, and too young to go into the village before she got her letter. Consequently, she had very little human contact outside of the people she was related to. Cecily told herself that the reason she had so few friends in Hogwarts was because she had such little practice making friends, but lately she'd been wondering if she was feeding herself lies.

Cecily began quietly singing a song from another musical. Her voice echoed as she stood in the center of the empty rehearsal room, looking at the bare walls, and feeling altogether sorry for herself.

I'm never gonna be the cool guy
I'm more the one who's left out.
Of all the characters in school
I am not the one who the story's about.

She seemed happy when she was alone, and she was. She didn't need anyone else to survive. But she was happy with friends. She told herself that she didn't need anyone-- she was fine by herself, because if she became to close to someone, would she become dependent on their company? And if she was dependent on someone with a capacity for human error, what did that mean for her? What would happen if they disappeared?

Why can't someone just help me out?
And teach me how to thrive.

Did she want friends? She didn't know the answer to that question. She tried again.
Did she really want to be alone? She couldn't tell. She knew that she had survived, friendless, until now. But she had had her family before. Here, she had no one.
The real question, she decided, was this: could she even make friends if she wanted to? Growing up in the relative comfort and closure of her family made her socially awkward; she had never had the need to speak to anyone that she hadn't met before. So how could she speak to someone right in front of her, someone that she knew would be actively judging her at all times? And could she find someone who wouldn't judge her, but might help her out instead? She needed someone who she could rely on to guide her through, to break her of these chains stunting her life.

Help me to more than survive.

She remembered her promise when she first boarded the train to Hogwarts: to at least try to make friends. She had been putting it off, running away, but what if she turned around now? What if she looked, remembered, made good on her promise?

What if she found a true friend?

-- Cecily Quinn --
and until we meet again.