The Storm Within Open Finished

Although Elspeth had spent the better part of her first school year figuring out how to get around Hogwarts, the school never failed to play tricks on her just when she needed stability the most. She'd just finished a long class in the greenhouses and was struck with an absolutely urgent need to pee. Living in a castle is an exciting adventure in so many ways, but having to run around its labyrinthine halls trying to find the nearest toilet was not an adventure she was much interested in having. Her tendency to trip, fall, knock things over, and get much on her was already strong enough naturally, the castle didn't have to go off and help her chances at being humiliated.

So, she'd run up the stairs as quickly as she could, shouting back at her friends that she'd meet them later. But as she took one staircase to another things started to feel a bit fuzzy. She couldn't tell if she was on the right floor, or the right part of the right floor. The staircases had seemed to move from when she'd come down that morning and in the flurry to get to a wash closet she hadn't been paying as much attention to where everything was as she should have. The pressure in her gut was intense. She squished her legs together as tight as she could and proceeded to move as quickly as she could using her legs only from the knees down. Her robes mostly hid her incredibly silly stance, but they certainly didn't hide the look of embarrassment and terror on her face as she finally got onto a landing.

"Okay this has to be it. This has to be the fourth floor," she said hoarsely between breathes. As much as she needed to find a restroom now she was also overcome by the want to sit down and catch her breath. But no. She had to press forward.

The hallway didn't look quite right to her, like maybe the statues had moved as well. Does everything in this castle get up and faff about during the day? At the far end of the corridor there did seem to be a door where she expected there to be one. A smile washed over her face, like a dying person who's found an oasis after crawling in a desert. Dare she break into a sprint? Elspeth took a deep breath in and made a final push toward the bathroom door, practically slamming her whole body into the great wooden obstacle before she ran as fast as she could into a stall.

Having paid no attention to anything before she sat down, it was only with her pants down that she realized she wasn't in the girl's lavatory on the fourth floor. She was in what appeared to be a very rundown and unused wash closet. Whether or not the toilet worked, the deed was already done. Elspeth pulled the flush and hoped everything would be fine, but didn't stay in the stall to check (or be blamed). Scurrying out, she quickly shut the door behind her and turned to leave when she noticed what appeared to be someone either in pain, or sick, or maybe upset over by the window. She hadn't been alone this whole time. In fact, she seemed to have walked in on a very private moment. Now that she was aware, she wondered if the other student had noticed her at all, if she could make it to the door without being seen. Oh man... what luck I've had today...

Interacting with: @Katrina Walker

Katrina sat rigid at the window, glaring at the sun for a few minutes before hearing hurried footsteps into the bathroom behind her. She didn't bother turning around, but instead stayed stone still. They opened a stall door and locked themselves inside. The second-year rolled her eyes in disgust, shouldn't they know their way around the castle by now, it was nearly the end of the school year.

The person who emerged from the stall, still hadn't seen Katrina. It was a girl, somewhat flushed with a look of someone who knows that they have intruded. She had pale skin and dark brown hair. The girl's eyes seemed innocent and inquisitive.

"The bathroom, is two floors above us," Katrina almost growled, hardly keeping her pent up emotions in her. Her words were slow and almost dangerous, with a sharp edge to them. It was as clear of a warning as any.

"I suggest you go up there to wash your hands, the sinks down here don't work," What could have been a nice suggestion was dripping with sarcasm and had the same sharp edge.

Katrina didn't want to be this monster. The horrible things that flew through her head were hardly kept in. She wanted to explode in rage and anger. It was all the 12-year-old could do not to yell at the girl to get out and go away. Katrina didn't want to be bothered, she didn't want to have to deal with another too-happy firstie that had no clue what real pain felt like.

She took a deep breath. "Please go," the red-head growled. It was a low rumble, like the thunder before a dangerous lightening storm.

Katrina bit her lip hard. You don't want to make enemies Katrina. Don't blow up at her. She took a few steadying breaths, still not turning from her frozen spot at the window. Katrina knew that if she moved a fraction of an inch that she might end up hurting the girl who had done nothing to deserve Katrina's wrath. It would not be physical pain, but the pain that hurts worse-- the pain that is brought of words.

She was at her bursting point. Katrina's eyes narrowed and her head turned slightly to face the girl, exposing her hard, angry face. Don't do anything you will regret later. Her own conscience was battling a war it could not win against itself.

Still amongst the anger, a small part of Katrina was still her normal caring self. Not talkative, but caring. The part of her that kept her from ever saying things she would wish to take back or lashing out on anyone. It was the part of her that kept her past separate from her life here. It was that small part of her that kept the anger under control, but that small part was wearing thin. If this girl didn't leave soon, Katrina would end up doing something that she would gravely regret later. She might snap and all of the pent up emotion would come crashing down on someone who didn't deserve it.

Hi @Elspeth Gollens Please send me an owl of you think at any time in this thread that I have gone too far.

Elspeth noticed how quiet the room was, after the toilet finished gurgling its way down. Each step the student across from her took, every move she made seemed to echo a little louder in this small stone chamber. Which means that, although the girl had said little, the words reverberated with a power that belied the real intent behind them. Elspeth had made a terrible mistake in coming to this restroom on accident.

Another tricky thing about living in a castle with hundreds of other kids is that, despite the building being so large, she almost always found herself walking in on a situation that didn't call for her presence. Students were busy living full lives all over this campus, and Elspeth found herself pinging between them like a pinball, but never landing on her own experiences. Not that she had time to contemplate that right now, what with an emotional powder keg set to explode two toilet stall lengths away from her. Her palms were beginning to sweat, so she wiped them along the side of her jeans before remembering, Oh, gross, I haven't washed them yet. What. Oh god. I'm going to die with toilet hands.

But the room was quiet as the other student's words eventually dropped from the air. And despite this being perhaps one of the least pleasant places to find oneself facing the end of another person's wand, Elspeth wasn't terrified. She was nervous and uncomfortable, sure. But the other student - if Elspeth hadn't ended up in the wrong toilet, would this other girl have just been in here alone, crying? She still couldn't quite tell from where she was standing whether there were dried tears on the girl's face. But something was clearly wrong. And as much as Elspeth both wanted to run away and had developed a strong knack for running away, in this moment she found herself taking a soft step forward, no more than half the length of her foot.

She remembered last summer, on a trip up north with her family, she saw a fox in the woods. They had been hiking along a road near some village, and there was this large ancient forest growing up all around them. And just a stone's throw away, barely obscured by the trees, was a beautiful fox. Elspeth had started to run toward it to take a picture. But her father put a hand up stopping her, and put a finger up to his lips. He led her toward the fox, walking very slowly on their tiptoes so as not to disturb any of the twigs and pinecones scattered about. As they got close, she saw why her father had stopped her. The fox was desperately thin, and though shaking like a leaf it also looked like it would snap at anything that tried to get near it. Her dad didn't break eye contact with it. He slowly pulled his backpack off, pulled out a sandwich they'd packed for lunch, ripped off a small piece and tossed it a few feet away in the woods. After a few pieces, the fox shyly looked toward them, inching closer minutely at first, until it took its first hesitant bite directly from the sandwich in her dad's hand.

"I'm, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt," Elspeth started, quietly but clearly,"I got lo.... well that's not, um, important or interesting right now. I'm sorry. I just - are you, um... are you okay? I can go, but, it looks like you might want someone here?" She knew she was taking a big risk. She didn't know this student, and didn't recognize her as someone from her house. Her pee was probably still sitting in the broken toilet behind her, that she'd only used after slamming her way into a delicate moment. There was a very real chance that she was just being naive and was about to have her hand snapped on. But she knew she had to at least try.

Interacting with @Katrina Walker

Oh don't worry about it! So long as I don't literally die please feel free to rip Elspeth a new one.

Katrina couldn't stand it anymore. This girl was too happy and too nice and it was revolting. She didn't know what it is like. She probably hadn't lost anything super important to her. The first year was tentative and wary, at least she had that going for her. But Katrina was about to explode and she knew it.

"I'm, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt," Katrina scoffed at this, loudly compared to the tone the girl was using, "I got lo.... well that's not, um, important or interesting right now. I'm sorry. I just - are you, um... are you okay? I can go, but, it looks like you might want someone here?"

Katrina couldn't stand it, she had had enough of this girl who obviously couldn't read expressions, "No, I don't, I don't need anyone or want anyone," Katrina growled and her voice raised with this next part, "You don't even know what its like to feel pain. Last year, when I was your age, I had NO PARENTS, my brother was dead and my family told me they didn't want me." Her voice was angry and sarcastic with an undertone of raw pain.

Katrina turned, with a rage filled face, "So, no, I am not okay. But all I ever do is help people and ask if they are okay. All I ever do is care about other people." Her words were loud, sharp, and biting.

Her breathing was ragged and she felt her wand in her pocket, no, she would not use spells on someone because she was mad. Katrina had her limits and would not go past that. However, her limits did not keep her from threatening. The tiny part of her felt guilty, but she refused to let that part get in her way.

"So I suggest, you get out. Now. Unless you want to be cursed or hexed, and I do know quite a few bad ones," Katrina's voice was low again, and dangerous. She even reached into her pocket for her wand, she kept it threateningly by her side, but the angsty expression on her face would be a warning clear enough.

Katrina was so blinded by pain and hurt that she was beginning to loose the grip on her limits. Everything was tossing and turning and she just wanted everything to stop. And if casting a spell on this annoying girl would make it stop, than Katrina might even do that.

@Elspeth Gollens Sorry about the late response!

Elspeth felt herself take a step backward, away from the girl, to give herself a little more distance. The door was in front of her, to her left, though, so the further backwards she stepped the further she was from the safest way to get out of this whole situation. Some pressure against her back indicated that she was up against a wall, the cold stone grounded her a little as she ran her fingers over it while maintaining eye contact with the student.

She knew the right thing to do was leave. As kindly as she could, she'd offered to help. The girl didn't want to be helped and was threatening to cast all manner of magic on her. The sensible thing to do would have been to run. But Elspeth had very little sense and was now moderately paralyzed by the fear of what was going to happen next. She wasn't sure if she could make it to the door without turning her back on the other student. Did this older kid seem the type to cast a spell when someone had their back turned? Given everything Elspeth had learned in the last few minutes, it didn't seem out of the realm of possibility.

"Okay, please. Just, just let me lea-"

Her whole body was trembling. It wasn't necessarily apparent to anyone looking at her from the outside, her puny figure obscured by dark robes, but underneath the layers of black fabric her knees were quaking. There was a pang of electricity she could feel shooting down her left arm into her pinky finger. Her skin, already relatively pale, was losing all color, making her veins stand out such that you could trace the course of her blood around most of her body. As her chest tightened she realized she was having a hard time breathing. It was like she was taking in air, but it wasn't going in. She was a little dizzy. What's happening! What's going on! Did she already cast a spell on me and I missed it! Elspeth was having one of her first full blown panic attacks, but she had no idea.

There was nothing she could do but break eye contact and look toward the ground as she tried to take in another breath. Move. MOVE. MOVE NOW. She couldn't move her legs, it was as if she'd forgotten how to move at all. And shouting commands in her head wasn't helping either. She gasped as she felt her own tears start to come down. Elspeth quickly slapped a hand to her own mouth to stifle the sound. The last thing she wanted was this other girl to know - well, there was no way the other girl didn't know. She wasn't more than ten feet away, having a complete breakdown in a bathroom with nothing else to look at. Elspeth couldn't hide her feelings this time.

She took a deep breath, as much as she could muster. She closed her eyes, furrowed her brow, and concentrated all of her energy on getting a breath in. I'm going to die here. With toilet hands. While crying. In a broken bathroom. And only this stranger will know I was here. Morbidly, she wondered how long it would take for anyone to notice she was gone. It's not like she had many friends at the school. Maybe her professors would notice when she hadn't come to class in a week. Did they keep track of that sort of thing?

Interacting with @Katrina Walker

Merlin, were those Gryffindors obnoxious.
The goons were terrible, always, but it was definitely his fault this time, though Wyatt would never admit it.

He was walking through the halls when he spotted them first. They noticed Wyatt come up, and for good measure, he set his right arm where his wand lie in his pocket. The boys started laughing to each other and walking over to Wyatt. Before they could humiliate him, Wyatt grabbed his wand, pointed it at the “leader” of the three, and cried, “Tarantallegra!” He didn’t need to hold back laughter, none was making it’s way out. He was a little scared- he’d just used a spell on another student, it was harmless but still. The other boys started laughing but quickly stopped as their “fearless leader,” red in the face, shot them a glare that made Wyatt freeze where he stood. The other kids said, “Levicorpus,” and he started levitating a bit. Wyatt's spell got cut short, since his wand fell to the ground, and the final loser joined in. Three people were levitating him now, laughing at him, and he felt his blood boil. Their snickers were cut short by footsteps. Not powerful enough for a professor, but too calculated to be any normal student.

“A prefect!” The boys dropped Wyatt, and he landed with an “oof,” and a thud. He wasn’t on the ground for long. He grabbed his wand from the ground and took off running. As he ran, he felt blood trickle down his nose. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d gone to the abandoned toilets to get away from the Gryffindors, so they’d know where he’d gone, but they were occupied by whoever that was who showed up. He barged open the door, quickly ran inside, closed it, and leaned against it, panting, trying to get his breath back.

He caught the conversation at "So I suggest, you get out. Now. Unless you want to be cursed or hexed, and I do know quite a few bad ones," and looked at the two girls who were talking. When he came in, he noticed a girl in Ravenclaw robes pressing herself up against a wall. She seemed to be in a deep state of shock and panic, a panic attack. It was something Wyatt recognized instantly, he'd had his fair share of panic attacks over the years. Wyatt remembered the Gryffindor, he'd seen her around before. What was her name? Walker. Wyatt spoke up.

"Bloody hell, Walker, leave her alone!" He said, as he wiped the blood from his nose. "Whatever angst-ridden crying session you're having- you can't be so embarrassed as to hex a Ravenclaw." Even when he was defending the Eagle, he used a disgusted tone when he said Ravenclaw. In his mind, anyone who wasn't a Slytherin was disgusting. It was a prejudice he wanted to break, but he couldn't hold it back this time. He was annoyed with a certain Ravenclaw at the moment.

"Hey, it's alright." He tried to calm the Ravenclaw. Not very Slytherin of you, he thought, but he continued helping anyway. "It's all fine."

He turned back to the Gryffindor. "You bloody Gryffindors, all the same. When will you understand the world doesn't revolve around you?"


_{Interacting with @Elspeth Gollens and @Katrina Walker
Mentioning @Nell Zoldak}

It was only after the empty threat left her mouth did she realize she had gone too far. The girl paled and was frozen against the wall. Angry guilt built up in her as she knew what having a panic attack was like. Katrina stuffed her wand in her pocket frustratedly and rolled her eyes. In a few seconds would go over and make sure she was okay, but her emotions were still built up too much.

Just as Katrina had calmed down enough to be nice a boy burst into the bathroom with a trickle of blood from his nose. He practically exploded at Katrina with a, “ Bloody hell, Walker, leave her alone!” Who knew how he knew her name, but the words fell on deaf ears. He was already worked up and Katrina didn’t want to deal with a cranky first year.

“Is there nowhere in this bloody castle where I can be left alone?” Katrina huffed and crossed her arms, daggers from her eyes. His mere presence had riled her up again, causing herself to grow more angry again. She had had enough of the annoying people trying to fix her without even knowing what was wrong.

He shot the insult at Katrina and she shrugged it off, turning back to the window as to shove down the pity. He went over and calmed down the girl some, Katrina still glaring out the window. The guilt began to rise up again, and Katrina hated the fact that she couldn’t even be upset for 30 minutes without a bunch of people running in.

“ You bloody Gryffindors, all the same. When will you understand the world doesn't revolve around you?” Katrina turned towards him. The anger refueled. He didn’t even know what this was about! He barged in and saw Katrina freaking out another girl who was in the middle of a panic attack. She was the enemy now.

“You don’t even know do you,“ again Katrina’s words were sarcastic and pointed. What right did he have to barge in here anyway? The second year hated the fact that there was still a part of her that felt guilty. Again Katrina was trapped caring about other people more than she cared about herself.

The knot in her chest wound itself tighter, her chest began to physically ache. Every moment she was a slave to others, caring more about them. She had lost everything, and still there were only two people in the school that knew and cared. She was sure rumors had spread through the entire school, seeing as the boy immediately recognized her. It was too much. She had had enough.

“Take your raven friend and go,” Katrina flung her arm towards the exit, fully aware that he was going to retaliate. She could handle herself well enough against a first year.

@Wyatt Starkey @Elspeth Gollens

Perhaps if Elspeth had been a little more emotionally mature she would have seen the nuance in her current situation. But as things were all she wanted was to be away from this space. She had no idea what was going on in her body, she had no business being involved in this girl's private time, and she didn't want to have to be saved from her own stupid body by some Slytherin she didn't even know. This whole situation had spiraled out very quickly and she had no idea how to get herself out of it now.

Not that she had the option of doing very much at this point. Although she had managed to catch her breath slightly she was still feeling woozy and couldn't start walking to the door just yet. The girl, Walker, still seemed incredibly angry and Elspeth got that. It wasn't like she had planned to have an explosive need to pee and whatever else her body was currently going through. She didn't want to take attention away from another student who, Elspeth was just now processing, had lost so many family members.

Bent over, hands on her knees and back braced against the stone wall behind her, Elspeth took a deep breath in. This girl didn't have any family. The fact hadn't really stuck to her, as she'd been caught up in the myriad terrifying ways her body was trying to scare her. But now that she did have a moment it was really hitting her. That sounded absolutely horrible. She couldn't blame the Gryffindor for being upset. That didn't mean it was okay to go around threatening folks, but if her parents died.... Well she didn't even want to think about that.

She deeply wanted to hold up a finger, pause whatever fight was about to ensue, and insert that she thought that maybe everyone needed to cool down. But with her head throbbing as badly as it was all she felt capable of doing was averting her eyes away from what was bound to happen next. Was she in between the two of them? She picked her gaze up for a moment to make sure, but no, the Slytherin boy was standing to her side, not behind her. If they started throwing spells, though, there was definitely not going to be an easy way to the door without walking through the line of fire.

Nope. Best to stay standing here and just hope that maybe her head would stop swimming in a couple moments and she could duck out of it all together.

Interacting with @Katrina Walker and @Wyatt Starkey

“You don’t even know do you,“ the Gryffindor said pointedly. Wyatt grit his teeth, keeping his face expressionless, though. No, he had no idea what was going on before he came into the Abandoned Toilets. He decided to scrutinize the Gryffindor just a bit, she had was wearing a frown, but Wyatt looked her in the eyes, they were a little marble-ey. He'd seen that look in the eyes of many people before, it was guilt. She feels bad for yelling at the Ravenclaw, doesn't she? The realization made Wyatt smirk. He realized who was really in control here. She wouldn't hurt them, she'd already done enough. He fixed his face back to it's resting expressionless state.

The Gryffindor sloppily threw her arm towards the exit, saying “Take your raven friend and go.”

Mercy. At least the Lion's trying. Well, kind of. Though her eyes told another story, her body looked as though it was willing to pounce, her hand on her wand. Wyatt grabbed his own wand from his pocket and held it in his hand. He wasn't going to hex her, he wouldn't be so dumb as to hex someone with more knowledge than himself- a second-year, but he had "street-smarts." He usually spoke in a sophisticated manner, so he was hoping the girl might think he was a little smarter than he actually was, it had worked with a few kids at Hogwarts already. "Someone with a conscience would pick on another student their own size, yet you pick on a first-year Ravenclaw. How telling, Walker," he said.

Wyatt turned back to the Ravenclaw, "Can you hear me? Breathe," he said in a soft, calming voice that somehow didn't sound condescending- the voice his mum used to use. The girl was leaning against the wall. Wyatt couldn't blame her, the wall seemed to be the only stable thing around at the moment. When she looked up at him, he didn't know what to say. He tried to think of his own experiences with panic attacks. "You're not dying- you're having a panic attack. If you breathe through it, you'll be alright."


_{@Elspeth Gollens and @Katrina Walker}