Fingers Crossed PV COMPLETED

@Rafael D'Spacito

. . .

Crushing was no new feeling for someone like Gem Stuart.
I mean, recognizing it was a bit new, but there had been so many he'd adored and tossed and turned over, drew hearts all over the place, listened to love songs only-- yeah, that was a crush for Gem. Now that he was a bit older, he could see it, he knew when it was coming, and he embraced it the very best he could. It never truly got the way of his studies, and because he had so much free time... well, he spent it doting on the little things he ever did with his crushes, if he even ever met them.

That sounded a bit bad, creepy even, but he couldn't figure out a way to word it any differently.

Rafael D'Spacito had been one of the (un)lucky fellows who Gem had found himself losing sleep over. He couldn't find a right, proper flaw about that bloke. He thought about him in class, when he was trying to sleep for bed, or when he was playing the guitar. When he got an owl from him, it didn't seem like anything new; he'd probably wanted to kick off some chaos, Gem thought with a quirky smile.

And so he took his robes off and made his trek down to the lake, even lighting himself a cigarette on the way there. He wouldn't smell like it, as he always carried mints around with him, which he felt around for in his pocket. He'd wondered what they were going to talk about, how long Gem would be able to stare at Rafa without getting caught, or if they'd be as intimate as they were when they were in the bathrooms that last time. He felt his cheeks heat up a bit, thinking about that, such a warm feeling in his belly it brought.

He's got me right in my chest, hasn't he? He thought, exhaling out his nose, successfully getting smoke out of his nostrils, too. He saw Rafa there, finally, sitting right above the bank. He watched him for a minute, standing behind a tree with a smile. Just for a bit, he thought, not too long.

“You all really know how to throw a guy for a loop, yeah? Making a guy feel ruddy and nervous. Fuck you.”

Now felt like the right time to pop out, freak him out a bit. So he did, standing right behind him with a bit of sneaking around.

"Talking to a sky wivout stars in it won't grant you a wish," He said, sitting beside him. "It is quite nice out, isn't it?" He wanted to prod at him about the statement, ask him why he was shouting at the sky about being all nervous. He was nervous too, especially since his cigarette was running all low. Rafa looked very good now, actually, the more he was able to look at him. His hair was a bit messy, he looked tousled, a favorite look of Gem's.

"What did ya call me here for, laa? Need someone ta throw stuff at the lake with?" He nudged his friend's shoulder, a playful prod at his little fit from earlier.

@Gem Stuart

"Talking to a sky wivout stars in it won't grant you a wish," Gem said out of nowhere.

Well, way to scare the living shit out of him, Gem. Like, where in God’s Holy Name did he even fucking come from? Rafa nearly fell out of the tree, he had been caught so off-guard. “Shit!” he said out of reflex, barely catching his book before it fell in the shallows of the Lake. He instantly bit his lip, realizing how bad that sounded. But, really: jump-scares really got Rafa – it was one good way to get a fear reaction out of him. Nonetheless, he put a massive grin on his face – he realized that the whole event had been rather funny. “Hell, Gem, you really know how to catch a guy off-guard,” he joked, scooting over a bit to make room for his crush. He picked up another piece of bark and felt it over with his hand, before chucking it into the Lake.

"It is quite nice out, isn't it?" Gem told him. He had this look on his face – it was a bit hard to read, actually. Rafa felt his heart beat a little faster, looking at his eyes. They were the same deep brown he noticed the first time they met in the library. He didn’t really want to look away, so he decided to talk, not make it too weird.

“Yeah, man,” he said, an easygoing sort of smile on his face. “Pretty clear and all.” It really was, too – fluffy white clouds scattered across the sky, the leaves turned crimson and brown. It was around fall and all, so the air was a bit crisp, just enough to be pleasant.

He went to look back at the Lake, but paused for a moment, doing a double take. He had noticed, out of the corner of his eye, the cigarette in Gem’s hand – this took him a bit off-guard. “You smoke?” he asked good-naturedly. He had smoked a bit a while back, but when they moved, his parents made him cut it out. It had always been something him and his friends had done among their ‘rebellious activities’. But he never had pictured Gem as the type – it went to show that he was still learning so much about him. “Didn’t take you as the smoking type,” he commented with interest. “No shade, or anything.”

Then, Gem made another comment. "What did ya call me here for, laa? Need someone ta throw stuff at the lake with?" He gave Rafa a sort of playful nudge. Rafa could only imagine he was talking about his shouting. Oh, Gem had really caught him at the worst time – it was so hilarious, for some reason.

Rafa really couldn’t help it. He did his best to stifle the snicker, but it didn’t do him much good. “You know what?” he told Gem, his eyes bright and humorous. “That’s exactly what I need right now. You got a good arm on you?” The whole thing was pretty humorous, he would admit. But maybe that’s what was necessary, before he made any major moves. Loosen the air, and all.

He took another piece of bark and threw it in the water as hard as he could. “Fucking school,” he muttered, loud enough so that Gem could hear it. “Gets a little tiring, you know?” He felt a yawn coming, but squashed it down for later. Now that he thought about it, Gem had heard him talking to himself – all that talk of nervousness. Maybe this was a chance at a little deflection. “Nerve-wracking,” he found himself saying. “Don’t you think?”

@Rafael D'Spacito

That was funny to him, the fact Rafa didn't take him for the smoking type part. He'd taken a break from nicotine for a while, actually, since he was going through nearly half a pack a day due to the fact he was having a pretty bad breakdown... it caused too many headaches. He nodded, reaching into his pocket, offering the pack to his friend.

"Yeh. Care fer one? Me dad gives em' to me, since he's a rockstar n' doesn't give a shite or whatever," He blew more smoke out from the other side of his mouth. "I guess that makes me one too."

"I'd say I've got a pretty good arm, yeh, can throw far. Further than you, I bet." He snickered, ripping some bark off of the tree, feeling the roughness with the pad of his thumb. It was tempting to scoot closer, but he thought against it - he wasn't so sure why, it was just a weird feeling, a type of nervousness, that told him not to. He threw the bark at the lake, waiting for it to plop into the water, completely out of sight. An impressive toss, considering the fact he hadn't actually... thrown anything, in a long, long time.

"Fucking school, gets a little tiring, you know?” Rafa seemed dejected, having puffed those words out like that. He figured school wasn't for everyone, especially not a boarding one. He wasn't so sure what his relationship with his parents was, but it didn't seem so bad... he probably missed them, it was easy to miss your family while you were still trying to make your own out of your friends.

"Yeh," Gem said, fiddling with his thumbs. "Yeh, it is."
It wasn't at all the school that squeezed exhaustion into him, it was just... a greyness that followed him around like an annoying, sad ghost. He could never seem to shed himself of that, no matter how hard he tried. Lucky him, Rafa seemed to alleviate some of that dejectedness, replacing it with something to smile about, a new sort of excitement. He decided not to focus so much on that, opting to look at the Gryffindor next to him with a small smile. He seemed tense, but not enough for him to outwardly ask without looking like an overly observant creep.

"I really like your hair today," He murmured, reaching up to flick one of the stands covering a part of his forehead. He didn't get a proper feel, but he betted it was soft and smooth, just like it looked. "I love messy hair, if you... uh, couldn't tell." He gestured at his own hair, a messy mop of brown covering his forehead and the corners of his eyes. He felt weird, mentioning that... it seemed so random, an excuse to throw a complement out. He had to remind himself that he wasn't the most charming, that complementing someone's hair wasn't going to get him anywhere. It was hair, for christ's sake.

@Gem Stuart

Gem seemed a bit amused at the fact that Rafa didn’t take him for a smoking man. "Yeh,” he answered. “Care fer one?” Gem told him – regarding a cigarette, of course. He held out a pack to Rafa invitingly. “Me dad gives em' to me, since he's a rockstar n' doesn't give a shite or whatever." He exhaled, smoke blowing out of his mouth. "I guess that makes me one too."

Rafa remembered how good smoking felt – it had been incredibly hard to get out of. He had gone through several terrible months of withdrawal, in which he had felt absolutely terrible. He knew he really shouldn’t – for his own health. "Nah, I shouldn’t,” he voiced aloud. Nonetheless, he felt himself grabbing the pack. He felt the cap for a moment, before flipping it open and pulling one out. “You got a lighter on you?” he asked, a bit tentatively.

Then Gem said something that really made him laugh, regarding one of his previous comments: "I'd say I've got a pretty good arm, yeh, can throw far. Further than you, I bet."

That last line, it killed Rafa. The humor of it all, it really hit him hard. He tried hard to hide his massive, disbelieving grin, but it was proving quite difficult. “Yeah?” he asked. Damn, he was really doing a shit job. “Really?” his voice cracked a bit on that last comment. He couldn’t with hold it anymore – the secret was now plastered all over his face. Not that he didn’t have faith in Gem’s strength – he had more than enough faith in Gem’s capabilities. He just had a hard time seeing Gem chuck a piece of wood into a river, that’s all.

Though, Gem impressed him a bit – he let out a hard-ass throw, landing the piece of bark far into the pond. Rafa shut his jaw abruptly. Where the hell did that come from? He hoped he didn’t look too surprised – he would really be laughed at, then. Noting the competitiveness, he grabbed a piece of bark and readied himself – he threw it with a considerable amount of strength. It landed in the water – it could have only been an inch farther. Though his toss wasn’t much better, he allowed himself a massive grin, just to get under Gem’s skin a bit. “Oh, look,” he said smugly. “I won.”

A moment passed, and Gem also answered his inquiry regarding school, and stress. "Yeh," he said, fiddling with his thumbs. "Yeh, it is." He looked a little sad when he said this – Rafa’s heart broke, it really did. Right then and there, he decided that he would jump off a bridge to make Gem smile. He couldn’t go on, watching him all sad like this. It wouldn’t work.

Then, Gem said something a bit random – not necessarily unwelcome, though. "I really like your hair today," he told Rafa, messing a bit with his ‘luscious locks’. "I love messy hair, if you... uh, couldn't tell." To be honest, Rafa hadn’t really thought much about his mess today, honestly. He hadn’t felt motivated enough to do anything to it this morning – walking around the school with messy hair didn’t bother him too much. Hearing Gem’s little compliment brought a bit of a smile to his face. His cute little crush had just complimented his messy hair. He’s perfect. He allowed his smile to get a bit goofy, as he reached towards his head and messed his hair up even more. He moved it all right in front of his eyes, his hair naturally going up in all sorts of directions. He grinned, scooting up to Gem a bit, his side against Gem’s. “Like this?” he commented humorously, shaking his head so his hair would move on its own. If it made Gem happy, then maybe Rafa would avoid brushing his hair sometimes. “See, I got it all messy just for you,” he joked.

Damn, Rafa, that wasn’t very subtle. He inwardly cursed himself. He was supposed to do better than that - he wasn’t Tim, running his mouth all over the place. He couldn’t exactly see Gem at the moment, what with all the hair in his eyes, but he hoped Gem didn’t think too much of it. He was going to have to be better about what he said if things were going to go well today.

@Rafael D'Spacito

Gem felt like his dignity had been thrown into that lake, too, when Rafa beat him at their little bark-tossing game. He didn't dote on it too hard, but when he thought about how much time he'd spent throwing stuff into ponds in Sheffield, it really felt... stupid, that someone could possibly be better. He reminded himself that Rafa actually played sports, which made him feel a bit better-- considerably better, actually and he found his mind drifting off to an entirely new subject. Wordlessly, he pulled a shite little matchbox out of his pant pocket, striking it in a firm, quick swipe. He held it up to the end of Rafa's cigarette, and then threw the match into the lake.

He didn't waste his breath speaking, rather, he'd like it a lot better if the boy next to him just kept going. Often, Gem preferred his own company, but he'd pick Rafa going on and on rather than the tangents he'd gone through in his own head any day. He swung his legs over the edge of the branch, and when Rafa's leg touched his, he swore to god his heart stopped. He never really could get a handle on himself, not when he saw how his goddamn crush ruffled up his hair just for him. He felt more special than he should have, that was for sure. He could die right there, he knew it, and he'd be fine with it.

"Yeah," Gem breathed, his eyes definitely not on his friend's now mess of hair, rather, his face. "Joost like that." His face must've betrayed him, with the way it got all red and how his brain felt stupid. He reached up to scratch his own cheek, and he was suddenly very happy that his hair covered up the majority of his face. Idiot.

"I happen ta think you look rather handsome wiv sloppy hair, even if ya look like a damn... uh, I dunno, actually. Rafa With Messy Hair, a true novelty," He distracted himself with jokes, now, terrible ones. His heart felt like it was going to pop out of its ribcage, that was it, making his cheeks all red and stuff. All because he ruffled his hair up, huh? You really are beyond help, Gem Stuart.

@Gem Stuart

Gem deftly took a match and lit Rafa’s cigarette. He watched it for a moment, wondering if he should actually take the hit – he knew the risks. After a moment, he decidedly took it in his mouth, and closed his eyes for a moment, reeling in the bliss of the old feeling. He exhaled slowly, smoke pooling into the open air. “Damn,” he muttered unconsciously. He took another puff, glancing over at his crush quietly, of whom he couldn’t see all that well.

Gem soon answered his hair comment. "Yeah," he said, a bit breathlessly. "Joost like that." Rafa still couldn’t see him all that well, but he sure as hell felt exposed – he hadn’t been as tactful as he had wished. There is no way in hell Gem doesn’t know now. "I happen ta think you look rather handsome wiv sloppy hair,” Gem told him. “Even if ya look like a damn... uh, I dunno, actually. Rafa With Messy Hair, a true novelty.”

Rafa stifled a snicker. “I don’t know, man,” he joked. “I don’t want to steal your thing or anything. You look all cute in it.” Yeah, any secrecy left, he was sure, disappeared with that last comment. “Can’t see your eyes all well, though.” He grinned, sneaking a peek at Gem beside him. Though, inwardly, he felt as if he had crossed the point of no return.

All of the sudden, he got awfully antsy. He couldn’t really explain the feeling, but it came upon him so suddenly, his grin fell away. He didn’t think he could put off asking Gem any longer, not for a million bucks. “Hey, would you want to go out sometime?” he asked generally out of nowhere, trying to feign nonchalance. Really, he wasn’t sure he remembered last time his heart had beaten so fast, or his hands had been sweating so much. “Not that there are a lot of places to go in this ruddy school,” he muttered, the grin coming back a little. “We could get creative, though.”

He threw another piece of bark into the Lake, trying not to focus on the question in the air. He’d really done it now. He kind of laughed in spite of himself, shaking his head. Another piece of bark found itself in his hands, and he tossed it up in his hands a few times. Tentatively, he glanced over at Gem, hoping to get a positive reaction. As much as it shamed him to admit, Gem’s words would make or break him.

@Rafael D'Spacito

Gem truly didn't have a right way to answer that complement, only because he was baffled by the straightforwardness of it. He'd never been called cute by any of his friends, much less his crush, and it seemed like his heart was going to pop out of his ribcage at that point. Cute. Rafa thought he was cute, and while it wasn't unrequited at all, he could probably throw himself off of the tree branch and it would be a plausible explanation-- only because he had no idea what to do next.

“Hey, would you want to go out sometime?”

Now it would've really been nice to throw himself off the tree, great. He'd been conflicted for a second, about how he was supposed to take that. Go out, go out as in a date? Or go out as in friends? Or go out because he was playing some mean joke on him? He was going to suffocate himself. He hardly heard what Rafa was saying, on account of the fact his brain was malfunctioning and he could die if he didn't answer quickly enough. He'd wasted enough time thinking, though, and thought it right to give a proper answer.

"Ye- yes. Yes, I would like to... ehm, yeah." He felt himself smile, tucking a hair behind his ear to give Rafa a chance to see his expression as a sincere one. "I... I know a few things we could do here, it inn't as boring as you might think."

It was a thing done when Gem's mind was all murky, but he ended up sliding a hand over to rest it over Rafa's, his index finger dragging along his knuckles. While it seemed nonchalant, it was all on purpose. It felt nice, he couldn't wipe a smile off his face-- that was for sure.

Gem’s expression was killing him – not in the way that he couldn’t stop laughing. Not in the slightest. It was funny, because there wasn’t much significance in his expression. That was the issue, actually: Rafa couldn’t read him. He could feel his heart pounding in his ears, louder and louder as the moments passed. His fingers impulsively felt over the little piece of wood in his hands, feeling all the grooves and ridges. He readied his throw, tossing it in the water. It skipped a few times, before sinking slowly. He gazed at the ripples, distracting himself for a moment. His cigarette was helping things a bit – he took a big whiff on his wedge, trying to clear his mind and steady his nerves. His thoughts were reverberating off of each other, all jumbled in English and Spanish and the broken French he knew.

That was a bad habit of his, when he got nervous. He was getting quite nervous – it wasn’t exactly showing on his face, but if you looked closely, you could see the little signs – he always chewed the inside of his lip when he was anxious. I was something he taught himself to do, because in some cases, it looked kind of tuff. People took him seriously. Oh, and his fingers were trying to find whatever they could to distract himself – currently, they found yet another piece of wood. It was a reflex, really, something he probably could stop himself from doing, but felt no motivation towards doing. He was sure if Gem caught him pulling something like this, he would definitely get a laugh – he could list a few people that would find it quite entertaining.

After a moment – Rafa had been trying not to focus on Gem’s expressions – his friend finally answered. "Ye- yes. Yes, I would like to... ehm, yeah." For some reason he couldn’t really explain, Gem’s answer surprised Rafa. He turned to the side, watching Gem tuck a piece of hair behind his ear. The Ravenclaw looked serious enough – Gem didn’t seem like the person to mess with another’s feelings.

Rafa couldn’t explain the feeling he felt now – it was as if a massive weight had been lifted off him. He let out a massive grin, just in spite of himself. Though, he hadn’t really planned out much farther than getting the question out. That had been the hard part in his mind. "I... I know a few things we could do here,” Gem added. “It inn't as boring as you might think."

This interested him quite a bit. “Yeah, man?” he asked jokingly, though it was a legitimate question. “Got some ideas? How ‘bout it, then?” He nudged Gem gently on the shoulder, in a friendly sort of way. During his comment, he felt a hand slip over his own. His heart nearly stopped then and there, it shocked him so much. He instinctively held it back, his hands threading gently through Gem’s. He inwardly laughed at the irony of the whole situation. Wow, this is a real plot twist. Though, it wasn't unwelcome. Not at all.

@Rafael D'Spacito

It took Gem a real long minute to think, mostly because he was entirely distracted by Rafa's face. He felt all dumb now, giving the other boy's hand a squeeze when it was held back... it was truly beyond him that Rafa'd actually wanted to go out with him in that way. He was more than flattered, that was for sure.

"Uh- Well, hm," He sort of forced himself to look down, attempting to rack that mush of a brain for any sort of ideas. "Well... we could go to 'e Leaky Cauldron? Or... joost mess around Diagon Alley, or... uh, run around, here, I could even play ya the guitar, like I said I would." He swung his legs again, a bit more nervously, pursing his lips as if he were thinking harder. The truth was, he hadn't been able to think at all - he felt truly stupid, like all the ideas he'd ever had been flushed down the shitter like nothing.

"But... ehm, if you joost want to... hang out, an'... I can get us some food, n' we can just sit around here an' have a picnic, that's nice too. That would be very nice. But- the leaky cauldron is fun, too. Joost sayin'." Again, he felt his head slowly start to lean down against Rafa's shoulder, just like he had when they very first met. Except this time, it felt a lot better, like there was nothing he needed to hide, or shield, or be all stiff about. This time, he felt like it was okay, and that made him feel mighty nice.