Temp Professor, Permanent Worry PV Prof Jensen Closed

Flying. One of the few magical things that Hjørdis disliked. Growing up as a muggle, anything related to magic interested and intrigued her at first. However, flying was such a drag in her eyes. All it did was ruin her hair or clothes - have you ever flown in rain? Ugh. It was the worst. Quidditch was even worse than that. Students literally falling off brooms, constantly cheating and blatching each other, whacking each other with all of their strength and the dangerous bludgers... All for 'fun'? It was worse than rugby and that was a sport she did not enjoy playing. Though, she would certainly watch it. Rugby players were usually rather strong and some of them were rather attractive.

Quidditch though, that's what this is about. Quidditch was a rather dull sport in her eyes. She preferred muggle sports, for definite. Yet somehow - who knows how - she found herself sitting in her temporary abode, silently wishing for someone to take her place. Teaching a subject that she did not enjoy was rather painful. She could do it, so she managed to get by with teaching it but boy, it was draining. The first and second years were easier for sure. It was the older ones that expected much more out of her than she was willing to give. She mostly got the seventh years to practice by playing or training their skills. It was far easier to train students to be faster, stronger, more accurate than it was to actually figure out how to probably maintain a broom or quidditch strategies.

Luckily, Barnaby Ryker - a former Flying professor - had shown her how to maintain the broom when she first arrived. The refresher was coming in useful now. "Come in," She called out as she heard a knock on the door. Hjørdis gathered the papers in front of her, with her hands that were covered in multiple rings, slipping it into a folder so that they could not be read. She had been grading some homework - a few essay assignments that she had given out about the safety of quidditch. The students were not playing safely, she had to make them write a ten page report on why it was important. It was only right.

Hjørdis tucked a few strands of loose hair behind her ear. She had her hair in a fishtail braid to the right hand side today. Her hair sat on the same side that her maroon jumper hung off her shoulder on. The sleeves were mid length, making it much easier to write without having to roll anything up. Long rose gold earrings dangled off her ear lobes, to match the rose gold circular necklace she wore.

Her gaze moved to the door. A head peeked through. She recognised her but she could not quite recall a name. Willow Anderson... Ah yes, a badger. One of Caradoc's, of course. Who else would it be? It was like the man lived to annoy her, at times. Waving a hand towards the empty seat in front of her, Hjørdis gestured for Miss Anderson to sit down, "Please," She said politely, indicating for her to sit and join her. Her expression was as blank as it usually was.

She quirked an eyebrow at the offer of tea and cookies. Was this a bribery? It felt like it. Hjørdis was too used to such things. Nonetheless, she hid her distrust. The girl looked kind, at the very least. She would hear the offer out and then decide if the girl was simply sucking up, trying to bribe her or actually being kind. As much as she would like to believe that it was a suck up or a bribery, she could feel a certain badger judging her for that judgement. So she forced herself to push past those things, and consider the third option: Willow was just being kind, the badger way. "Very well, how about I put a brew on?" She asked, though she did not wait for a response, waving her wand towards the teapot at the end of the desk that instantly started to heat the water within it.

Whilst waiting for the tea, she turned back towards the first year, "What can I do for you, Miss Anderson?" She asked, wondering why the girl had decided to come here to see her now instead of waiting for a replacement. Flying questions made far more sense to someone who actually knew the subject well. They did not have a deadline of when someone would be hired, of course, so she understood that the students were likely unsure if this was a permanent role for Hjørdis or a temporary one, but still. She almost just expected people to have worked out that it was temporary. Because it was permanent then they would soon dislike Quidditch like she did. Especially if she made them do a 10 page report every week - which was a rather tempting idea now that she thought about it.

Interacting with @Hjørdis Jensen

Professor Jensen was only... a lottle intimidating. A fun combination of a word Willow liked to describe something that was in the middle of a little and a lot. She had an air of elegance and poise around her. Something she would definitely expect from the Head of the Slytherin House. That house was full of stuffy and poised people. Painfully polite to a degree that Willow never understood or could really handle. But, here she was making snap judgments about what her interaction with this professor might be like. Generalizing people by their house was something she never liked to do, but as the school year went on it was slowly developing into a bad habit of hers.

Especially since this Professor had been with the Hufflepuffs in the basement the night of the fire and consuming darkness. She obviously had a kindness and care to her, not just anyone would run into that disaster. Or maybe she would... because that is her whole job. That wasn't what she was here for though.

Willow nodded when Professor Jensen offered to brew the tea, even though she had already started the the incredible nonverbal magic trick. She had seen it a couple times from different Professors and it astounded her every time. She set down the tea and cookies gently on her desk for the Professor to move them where she wanted before taking a seat in front of the desk. "Well, I was going to ask Professor Bercegeay for help with this, but she left. I was going to wait for the new Professor to be assigned, but... I'm just.. With the Hufflepuff versus Drumstrang match coming up I'm just getting really nervous and this happens every time before I fly even though I know it'll be ok. But I get like panicky, and I feel like I can't breathe before hand. On my God and Goddess, I know it's going to be okay but it's just... terrifying." She took a deep breath, word vomit was a bad habit of hers. Before Professor Jensen could speak she kept going. "And I'm so scared that one day I'll be blatched or something and no one will save me and I'll just wake up in the Hospital Wing. Like watch if Durmstrang plays dirty? I just don't want to get hurt yet I'm on this team and I feel like I'm a failure to them if I can't handle that part of Quidditch."

With another deep breath and hands folded up and nervously fidgeting, bright blue eyes looked up and locked with the Professor's waiting for the wise guidance that she could give her.

Hjørdis poured out two cups of tea once it was ready, gently placing it in front of the student. She dropped a dash of milk and a spoon of sugar into her own cup, mixing it in before offering them to Miss Anderson too. She settled back into the chair, with a nod. Silently, she sat there and listened to the clearly nervous badger.

She took a sip of the tea. Hufflepuff and Durmstrang, ahh yes. It was a Quidditch match that was organised at a school tournament coming up in the summer holidays. It was also something that really did not interest the Head of Slytherin but, unfortunately, it was her responsibility to be there. This was the shame of not taking a day off work, she was forced into attending events when she did not want to.

Honestly, she did not actually understand the game. Quidditch was just unnecessarily violent from the get go. The student was concerned about cheaters and being blatched but... surely the beaters and the bludgers were just as violent? The intention was to knock people off their brooms - it was always violent. She did not know why people played it nor why it was enjoyed by so many. More than that, she did not really understand why the school allowed it... But there were definitely worse magical games though.

There was three penalty laps in just one game that Hjørdis watched not too many months ago. That was three people caught cheating after they blatched. She kind of... expected it at this point. Of course, cheating was still against the rules but since when did students play by the rules anyway? "So... Before every game, you are worried your opponents will cheat and you'll get hurt?" She asked in a soft calm tone. She was not great at comforting people. If Willow expected her to hug her, offering words of comfort then... it would likely not happen. But she continued nonetheless, asking the question that came to mind and trying to work out exactly what the young badger was afraid of.

"Miss Anderson... Why do you play Quidditch?" She asked the student, taking another sip of the tea and leaning back into the chair and observing her. She held the teacup with her pinky pointed slightly.

Interacting with @Hjørdis Jensen

As the tea was done, Willow rose once more and added a bit of milk to her tea, before returning to her chair. Her hands curled around the delicate cup, pulling it's radiating warmth into her body to help calm her nerves in talking to Professor Jensen, and talking about a fear that seemed to haunt her. Willow gazed around the office for a moment, her tiny legs swinging idly before her attention returned to the professor as she spoke.

Was that her fear? She had never actually found the source of it. She just knew that a terror filled her body every time that she was going to fly. The teacup was raised to her lips for a long sip, as if buying time to find the answers to a question that she had really never delved into herself. Suddenly, she felt like she had come vastly unprepared. But she was here for help, it was ok to not have all the answers for this right? This was a school. If there was any a place to find answers it was here, especially in a professor's office. Or, temporary office. "I mean... Not always I don't think? I've only played one game, so that would be a silly reason right? Especially since it's never happened to me, and keepers really aren't a mighty target to go after. I'm guarding about ten points, so it doesn't really seem worth it for people to go after me." She paused, a soft hum of thought. "Maybe its the fear of just falling in general? I mean, we're up so high. On such thin pieces of wood, anything could happen." She was fine with resigning that to be the simple answer, but something in her told her there was more. There was something else, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

Another long sip of her tea continued to fill her with the warmth that she seemed to crave in battling this issue. Feelings were always something that was strong for her. She let them overcome her, consume her, become her. Anger and rage made her do irrational things. Deep feelings of joy were always something that she tried to hold on since they were fleeting, they never lasted as long as she wanted to. But fear, fear always held on for the longest. She was still scared of the dark, of the fire. The Hufflepuff Common Room fireplace once a place for a cozy cuddle up with a book now a place of fear and foreboding. But, once she lifted off from her broom her fears were gone, they were forced to let go. They didn't continue into her flight, rather, they only peeked back out when there was a threat of falling. But there would always be a threat of falling if she was in the air.

Ugh.

This was so confusing and her brain felt like it was spiraling down. Another question from Professor Jensen pulled her back out of her thoughts. It was a welcome question, one that gave her the reason to ground herself in something happier. "I grew up a muggle. I mean, practicing muggle witchcraft, but obviously nothing like... all of this." Her left hand released from the cup for a moment to gesture to the whole room before returning back to a comforting place around the cup. "I want to try everything, learning everything I can. I mean, its a miracle that for some reason I'm the magic one. I'm not a person that played sports at home, but when I heard about Quidditch it just seemed so exciting. I mean, flying. I could fly. How could I say no to that Professor Jensen? Something like that always seemed like a dream, a fairytale. But now I'm living it. So, I joined the team. Because I want to take up every opportunity I can. I'd be ridiculous to turn down the chance."

There were obviously a ton of muggles in the school who didn't take up flying as an extracurricular, but for her it was a simple decision. To continue living one of her deepest fantasies of actually taking flight. It was the most unreal part of magic to her, it mystified her. "I don't know, I just, I want to fly as much as I can. As if someday I won't be able to anymore. Like, what if I wake up and this is all a dream and I didn't do everything I could in this dream? That's dumb right?" It should've settled in by now that this was all real, but it just didn't. It was too fantastical, too spectacular. She felt like at any second, despite everything she experienced telling her it wasn't a dream, like it could all just disappear from her loose grasp of it.

In silence, she listened to the young Hufflepuff speak as she sipped her tea. She waited for the girl to finished talking, not wanting to interrupt her train of thought. Flying could be scary indeed. The fear of falling and getting hurt was always there - at least until you knew how to stop yourself from splatting straight into the ground.

Hjørdis had no idea what the girl's fear really was - but it seemed that neither did the student. It was clearly a matter that was confusing her. Miss Anderson simply knew she was afraid of something, and that was enough. She pondered on the words that the girl was saying, trying to make sense of it. In a way, she understood the first year's feelings. At least, some of them. Growing up as a muggle made you believe that magic was simply a thing of fairytales. It was not real. Finding out otherwise was the most exciting concept to most children. Those mythical animals like unicorns or phoenixes or dragons were all real... Flying, invisibility, whatever superhero power you knew of as a child could actually be real... Those things were so shocking yet exciting.

She sighed softly, leaning forward, "Miss Anderson, at the very least, I understand where you're coming from," She said softly, placing her hand on Willow's as though to show it was not a dream, however. It might have felt like one since it was so unimaginable but it was not a dream. She gave the girl's hand a gentle squeeze before picking up her cup of tea and taking a sip, relaxing back in the seat behind her, "But there are also a lot of exciting things in this world. Things that you likely never thought were possible. Some of them, you may fall in love with in an instant... whilst others may not live up to your expectations," She continued, "You do not have to take up every opportunity because you feel like you have to enjoy this..."

Pausing for a moment, she looked around the office. Quidditch was not something she particularly enjoyed, "When I found out about magic, I thought the most exciting thing was flying or seeing a phoenix or any magical creature. I was convinced that I would exclusively love those things and do nothing else for a living..." She explained, not entirely sure why she was diving into her past but doing it nonetheless. Admittedly, she did still love magical creatures but not to the level that she felt the need to care for them like she once had wanted, "When I started school, I thought alchemy and potions was honestly the boring part of the magical realm. Compared to being able to become invisible, to morph into anyone else, to fly, to care for extraordinary creatures, predict the future, to turn targets into badgers, to teleport... That list is endless..." She continued as she lifted a finger every time she listed another one before she gave up since it was getting too long.

The point was that compared to all of those things, playing with bat wings, eel eyes, horned slugs or potato peelings seemed to dull in comparison. Half of the potion ingredients were rather gross, after all. No one wanted to handle rotten figs or wonder how they got spider legs or scoop up a handful of wood-louse. "However, by my fourth year, most people knew that if they wanted to find me, they should look in the potions classroom." She explained, ending her point, "Long story short... I think it's okay to explore things at your own pace and if there's something you don't enjoy, that's okay too. You don't have to do or love everything," She explained. It did not really help right now but this was just... life advice, let's all it. Maybe she was rambling and simply being unhelpful but she thought it was important for her to know that.

She sipped her tea some more, "You have plenty of time to figure out what you enjoy. Maybe it's not Quidditch but maybe it will become your passion. I guess the question is, is this something you really want to try - regardless of the results - or if you give up now, will you be able to live with that decision without regret?" Hjørdis asked the student after a pause. Sometimes it was much better to try something even if you hated it than to never try it at all and live with the regret. Far too many missed opportunities. Regret was something Hjørdis could not personally stand. She would rather know she hated something or for it to go badly and hurt her than to never know the answer at all.

If Willow fell, as she feared, the physical wounds could easily be healed. But Hjørdis knew that most of these students were not worried about the physical injuries they might acquire. Sure, it hurt for a moment. But most wounds were healed in a matter of moments. It was the mental, emotional scars that they lived in fear of. They could not be healed so easily.

Interacting with @Hjørdis Jensen

Professor Jensen seemed to melt the anxiousness within her about seeking answers with the light hand over hers. It was much more pleasant than the pinching she had done since she arrived here. It was gentle and caring. A small smile of comfort took the place of a tightened mouth of worry. She felt safe and heard.

Coming to someone to talk about a fear of flying that was involved heavily in the team didn't feel like it was an option for fear of them kicking her off, and perhaps Professor Jensen had the power to do that as well. If she did, it didn't seem like she'd be kicking Willow off the team this time. The young badger was grateful for that. She dearly loved her teammates and wanted to win for her house, for the badgers. But every time she messed up or had the pit of anxiousness that made her feel woozy before flying she also feared letting her house down. They had become such an intense second family that even the idea of them turning against her felt like it could kill her. But, that was a very dramatic thought for a very dramatic twelve year old.

Willow hung on every word that Professor Jensen said, especially when she started talking about her experience with magic. While it was great to bond with her classmates about how fascinating everything was that was happening around them every day, it was hard to understand what this would feel like later on. What would magic be to Willow as an adult? She didn't know, and had no point of reference for knowing. The curious badger found herself wondering why she hadn't just asked the adults around her what it was like. But perhaps it was in moments like this when she needed to hear about it most that the words would be most impactful.

She hummed lightly into her tea, pondering the question that Professor Jensen had posed to her. She made a good point about there being a lot of time to explore this, she was here for seven years after all. Who know where people would be able to find Willow in her fourth year, that felt lightyears away. It felt unimaginable. "I don't think my passion will be Quidditch. I quite like divination, I know I don't study it yet but its something I'm really excited to. Care of Magical Creatures is something that interests me too... again... I don't study it yet but-" She sighed, that was the one downfall. So many subjects she wanted to study that were just out of reach. "I think maybe... until I can follow those it wouldn't hurt to stick with Quidditch right? If it gets to be something I genuinely loathe I could always leave. But I want to stick around my team, I really love them. Its a way I can show house pride. So it gives me things besides just the joy of flying that matter too."

Her eyes moved to her teacup as if it would provide further answers to how she felt about it all, but sadly, it was just a cup of tea. "I think if I quit today I would regret it. Because I would be quitting out of fear, and I'd rather quit for some other reason? It feels like a bad reason to give up, at least right now. But maybe that will end up being my reason. It just feels too soon. Like I said I've only played one game, so it'd be silly to think I've experienced it fully." Maybe there wouldn't be a better reason to quit in the end, but she wouldn't know that if quit the first time around. There was so much time for her to get better at the game, for the fear to dissipate. It felt cowardly to bow out so soon.