Footprints of the Past PV Prof. V. finished

Ileen was so relieved that he hadn't sent her away immediately that she almost forgot the question she had wanted to ask.
She gave herself a moment to sort herself out before she looked the professor straight into his eyes. She tried to estimate how he would react - but now was not the time to have second thoughts. “This may sound strange, but have you by any chance heard anything about the Knight family?" She frowned strained, a little overstrained to express her thoughts in clear words. “I mean about their time at Hogwarts.”
She hesitated and restlessly pulled the strap of her bag up her shoulder. Who would understand what she was doing here? She thought for a moment, but then decided to give the professor a little more context. After all, she hoped for his help, so she had to be honest with him.
“It’s just that I heard they did some terrible things. And since they are not telling me anything I wanted to find out by myself,” she said a bit defiantly and tried to ignore the lump that was tying her throat. She didn't want pity, just an explanation. How could she know what she would become if she did not know what her parents had done? It must have been something really horrible - after all, it had made the rounds even in New Zealand and made sure that everyone had shunned her as a child.

“Do you believe that people can change? That if you regret something, you'll never do it again? Or are there people who are simply meant to be evil?”, it blurt out of her. Now they were getting closer to the real reason for her concern. She felt the strong urge to explain.
“You know - I did not want to be sorted into Slytherin. They were there. And it destroyed them and their life. They even had to run away.”
Now that she had started, she could hardly stop. It had burned in her mind for so long - still did. What had her parents done to make Ileen suffer the consequences?
“They may also have inflicted serious harm on others to provoke this reaction. I just really want to know, why we are the ‘evil Knights’.”
She turned red and looked down. "Please don't tell anyone. I don't want Professor Jensen to know. To be honest, she's the only person who gives me hope that Slytherin isn't evil per se."
After carrying this around for so long, she felt a little lighter after she got rid of it.
She looked at the professor with a mixture of hope and fear. If he knew what her parents had done and now connected it to her, would he react the same way as everyone else?

The man blinked as he heard the girl's question. He didn't remember anyone like that in school. The names weren't familiar to him and he suspected that maybe they were in school long before he even attended as a first-year. He didn't want to upset the child in front of him but the name really wasn't ringing any bells. Ileen Knight would be the first time he had ever heard of the Knight family and any corruption connected with them. She seemed eager to know something about her family though. He didn't have any answers since he didn't know of them, but maybe one of the older teachers who went to Hogwarts did...

"I am sorry, Miss Knight. Unfortunately, I don't know anything about the Knight family. Seeing your name on the roster this year is the very first time I've heard of your family name, honestly. If they did do some horrible things, then I am sorry that you feel the need to fix their wrongdoing. But I will say that it is not your job to fix what wrong they have done or help whoever they have wronged. Your job is to be better than them and not repeat whatever it may be that they have done to upset the wizarding community in the past."

Artemis could understand the determination in the girl's voice about wanting to find out about her family history on her own. He, too, had wanted to find out more about his own father but listened to his mother and didn't pursue it growing up. Even though there were whispers and cruel insults tossed around during his time at school, he didn't let it get to him. When he became an adult, however, he did take it upon himself to learn more about the dark wizards of his childhood. His father was among the list. Artemis listened as he heard the child's next question and sighed deeply as he steepled his fingers and put his lips against his hands. A question that was a bit difficult to answer as he would be providing his own opinion and not a fact. Her following statement was one he understood all too well.

"I understand all too well about not wanting to be placed in the house that your parents were in. I was lucky enough to be placed in the same house as my mother, but my sister was placed in the house of my father. We didn't know at the time that the hat would place you where you desire to go, but if you were undecided it would place you where it felt you would be at your best. Your parents created you, yes, but they cannot create you, Miss Knight. If you understand my meaning. Do not let their past mistakes or wrongdoings dictate your life. Make your life your own and make something of it. As for your question, I do believe that people can change. There are many people in the world, Muggle and Wizard alike, that have changed for the better once they realized that what they had done in the past was incredibly wrong and they experience extreme regret and remorse for their actions. But I also believe that there are people that are just inherently evil and should be locked away for the rest of their days instead of being given a second chance. Tom Riddle is a prime example of that and if it weren't for Harry Potter...well, you get the picture." Artemis stood and walked around his desk to stand in front of the girl. He placed a hand on her shoulder comfortingly. "I won't tell Professor Jensen anything unless you do something dramatic that is harmful to your health or others. We can keep this conversation between us. But I want you to start living for Ileen and looking toward the future and not worry about whether or not you will turn into your parents. You are not them. You are Ileen Knight and you will make a newname for the Knight family."

My apologies for the extremely late reply!

When Professor Vernatis told her that he had never heard of the Knight family before, she was both disappointed and relieved. Even though she still didn’t know what had happened, the rumors were no longer following her everywhere. Maybe there was a chance no one knew? That would relax the whole situation for her.
This mixture of feelings was reflected on her face and she and tried to swallow the lump that had massed in her throat. She was sincerely grateful that he seemed to take her question and concerns seriously – and she didn't take it for granted. Also, his kind words made her flush.

“Oh, okay. Thank you, Professor.” She hesitated – but she couldn’t give up just like that. “Do you have by any chance someone in mind who could know something about it?” She frowned, trying to figure out the numbers. “I guess, it was about 25 years ago.”
Looking up to his face, she felt a bit uncomfortable. Maybe, he was just too young for knowing that. Had she insulted him by assuming his age? Well, she hoped not.
“I’m not sure how to deal with the situation,” she admitted, tugging restlessly at her robe. This honesty and openness about her thoughts was unusual, but not unpleasant
“You are right, I guess. I can’t change whatever happened, but how can I make sure not to remake the mistakes? Maybe – I know the chances are depressingly slim – but maybe it wasn’t their fault? I mean, my parents’ fault.”
Nervously she bit her lower lip. “I want to know what was awful enough to punish me, even if I didn’t do anything.” The last sentence had slipped out before she had really thought about it. Honestly, that was a big motivation for her. She wanted to know why everyone had stayed away from her in her childhood. She wanted to know why she always had to look over her shoulder.

Surprised, she shifted her weight when he expressed his understanding for her concern about the House Sorting. Sometimes she forgot that all Professors had also been students in the past, whose worries and thoughts might have been like those of the students today.
She felt a wave of sympathy. The professor did not condemn her for her thoughts and she gave him credit for that. Furthermore, he seemed to be able to understand her situation. She would have liked to ask what his father had done and how his sister had fared, but that seemed inappropriate to her. These were very personal questions.

His words made her think. Had she been undecided about the Houses? Well, when she was asked, she had claimed that the House wouldn’t make a difference. “Well…,” she started slowly, struggling to formulate it correctly. “The hat meant that Slytherin is the right place to fight my inner enemies and to find the support which will make me strong…” She frowned. The words were burned in her brain, she had thought about them so often. It was only the second time she told someone what the hat had said to her. “I’m not sure I know what he wanted to tell me with that.”

She smiled a little wistfully as she returned to the real subject. “But I never had the feeling that I really had a choice. For building my own identity. They tried a fresh start, but they failed. And so did I. It had always haunted me, like they left a stamp on me or something.” She spoke so fast she stumbled over a few syllables. “And I really hope, they are not evil. And that they are the people who honestly regret their actions."

When he put one hand on her shoulder, she felt a lump in her throat again. Although at the age of eleven she could not fully grasp the complex meaning of his encouragement, she felt supported. She gave him a shy smile. “Thank you, Professor. I don't want her to think I don't appreciate her.” Her smile slipped a little and she sighed softly. “I don’t want to turn into my parents. I guess, it’s normal to do mistakes – but I don’t want them to be that awful.” She felt safe enough to keep talking openly. “I won’t harm anyone. I intend to achieve rather the opposite. I have considered becoming a healer.” Her eyes sparkled as she realized the meaning of her own ambitions. “A new name – maybe a good name? You really think that this is possible?"
She did not understand it at that time, but she felt stronger because someone believed in her.

No worries - I'm usually not the fastest either

The young girl asked him if he thought it were possible to make a new name for herself and his answer was going to be, yes, simply because he had done it himeself. People are not like their parents and unfortunately, some kids believe that they have to be exactly like their parents in order to become someone or that they'll eventually turn out like thieir parents. It was a sad cycle to live through and often times that cycle never ended. But if Artemis could help one student during his time as a professor, he would do his utmost to help this young girl find her true self and be someone that she was proud of. Damn what her parents and friends thought of her. Ileen had to live for Ileen and no one else.

"That is a positive thought to have, Miss Knight,"Artemis commented softly when the child brought up the idea that maybe whatever her parents did or were blamed for wasn't their fault. "Hold onto that until you find out the truth. Hope is truly all that we humans have to keep us sane. Now, for you to not make the same mistakes..." he paused as he truly didn't know how to answer her properly. He could only give her the advice that he received from an old teacher of his when he was a student here. "Truth be told, there isn't a definite way to assure that you don't make the same mistake as your parents. You have to feel what is right and what is wrong inside of your own heart. I know it will be hard to do since you are completely blind about whatever it was your parents did in the past to give them a bad name, but just do any good that comes naturally to you."

He watched as the girl in front of him took in his words and digested them. He could only hope that she retained the words he spoke so that she wouldn't continue to blame herself further.

“I want to know what was awful enough to punish me, even if I didn’t do anything.”

But maybe he had more work to do. Closing his eyes, he sighed. "The sins of the father..." he muttered as painful childhood memories flashed through his mind. The childhood he buried deep in his memories as he never wished to relive them. Most of the trauma happening before his father was caught and sentenced to Azkaban; memories of young children throwing him in the mud or forcing him to eat unedible things or even physically causing him to bleed all because of his family's "strange ways". Less of the trauma happened after he started at Hogwarts where the children of his father's victims insisted on tormenting him. Sure, his father was never as bad as the other dark wizard, but his father believed in that ideology. He just never submitted to joining the crazed man's ranks. No, instead he hid underground with his family and ensured that he couldn't be found while also conducting his own insane rituals and dark magic. The nineties were truly a horrible decade.

"The sins of the father are to be laid upon the children.” Artemis quoted as he walked over to a window to look out of it. "This means that the crimes and sins of your parents are placed at your feet and you must carry the burden of whatever it was that they have done. This is the truth that some humans tend to believe in and cause a vicious cycle to continue for generations. This is probably why those children treated so cruelly."

Artemis inhaled deeply before confidently stating the next part of his speech. "However, the truth of the matter is, and should be, this: The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son. This is the quote we should all adhere by. The sins of the father should not be passed down to his children, nor should his children's sins be cast upon him. We are all human and we all are capable of making our own choices. I said this already, Ileen. You are your own person. You can and will make a new difference for yourself. Do not live in your parents shadows. You mentioned that the hat placed you in Slytherin to help you fight your inner enemies. Your inner enemy is your own self-doubt that you will be nothing more than a bad witch as your parents possibly were before you. You will find friends that will help you to be better and different than them. You will find yourself and learn how to be Ileen. Leave the footprints of the past in the past, as it does not do well to dwell on the past."

Artemis turned to the girl with a soft smile on his lips and sadness in his eyes. It wasn't pity. Just a sadness that such a charming young girl that was standing before him was suffering so much in such a short time in her life. It was heart wrenching. He never wanted his children to experiance this kind of pain, and he was determined to ensure he never followed down the same path as his own father.

Sweet Mary! I am SO sorry I left this unreplied to for so long!

Ileen did not know it yet, but she would think back on this conversation many times. The professor's words and food for thought would not help her uncover the past, but they did help her deal with it. This conversation marked a milestone in her life, a moment when she truly decided to become a healer and do something good, and any time she felt anger or aggression, she would remember the promise she had just made to the professor: she would not hurt anyone except to defend herself. Professor Vernatis could probably read it in her dark brown eyes as she listened to his kind and encouraging words. He just had changed her world by giving her the first reason to believe in herself by believing in her – she just didn’t know it yet.

It might sound insignificant, but when he advised her to simply do good to avoid evil, it was as if he had taken a tremendous burden off her shoulders. It may have been an obvious thing to do, but for an eleven-year-old who had been too much on the negative, it was a big step. Even though she didn’t understand it yet, she felt it. She took this advice to heart and it was written on her face. Her gaze was fixed on the professor and for the first time there was a warm smile on her lips that was not mixed with pain or sarcasm.
“Thank you, Professor. I will try to live up to that.” Maybe she could avoid doing evil by having a good influence on others. The smile vanished as she thought about her fellow students who had a tendency to act like impulsive idiots and were escalating every single situation. She swallowed. Her mind was fixed on extremes, so if she wanted to be good, she just could think about playing a proactive role – something that wasn’t necessary, but she would get there one day. “Even though I am not that good at socializing so my influence might be limited.” This was probably the understatement of the century. Maybe she could stop them and thus have a good influence on the school? Was that her faith? Was that the Ileen she wanted to be? She didn’t know yet.

The sins of the father are to be laid upon the children. This was something she got right away. The way Professor Vernatis talked about the topic triggered sympathy in her. She had no idea what had happened in his childhood, but a branded child could recognize another and feel connected. She couldn’t put her finger on it and it was more of an instinctive reaction, but Ileen felt understood – truly understood and that was also a reason why his words were all the more valuable to her.
The lump in her throat grew and she had to swallow while looking at the man who was now looking out the window. She herself was glad that he wasn’t looking at her because his words brought back painful memories and drove tears into her eyes, which she angrily blinked away. She had not cried for years and she would not start now.

His next words made the blood rise up to her cheeks and she automatically straightened her back when he told her that she should be herself and not let her parents' past crush her. Could she do that? Could she step out of their shadow and face the judgment of the others and her self-doubt? It was the first time anyone really made sense of what the hat had said. If that had been the reason she had ended up in Slytherin he had placed her in a challenging environment to fight these two enemies. His words and the convinced tone, in which he recited them, touched her and a mix of feelings made her stumble.

It was the first time an adult had put so much faith in her and as he turned around he would find her clinging to his desk, her dark brown eyes wide open while the feelings were reflected on her face. Ileen was touched, afraid, determined to live up to this trust and simply overwhelmed by the amount of feelings in her fighting to get the upper hand. “I--” Where should she start? How should she find herself and learn how to be Ileen? The question and helplessness were reflected in her eyes as she looked up at the professor and was still looking for the right words.

No worries it took me forever this time as well

Ileen felt the blood rising to her cheeks as the Professor gently placed his hand on her head. There was nothing patronizing about this gesture and although Ileen normally withdrew physical contact instinctively, this was different. Her father had used to do that when he had been proud of her or wanted to encourage her and she felt supported – someone believed in her and that was more than she could have possibly asked for. Although she had not achieved her original goal of finding out what her parents had done during their time at Hogwarts, she had gained something much more valuable: A perspective, a new path and a person of trust – someone she could turn to.

When he gave her the cake, a warm smile curled her lips and painted little dimples on her cheeks. She felt lighter even though she had no answer how to start living up to her goal yet. So, that’s what it felt when someone listened to her worries and thoughts and even took her seriously. “Thank you so much, Professor.” Ileen had never been good with words. All she could hope for was that the man could see the feelings in her eyes. She couldn’t put her thoughts into words because she didn’t understand all of them yet, but she would in a few weeks and months.

When she made her way to the door, she straightened up. She knew how she would start now. She would take to heart what the professor had said and do what seemed good to her. And just like this, another girl left the room, similar to the one who had entered it for class today, but quite not the same. Maybe she would ask Professor Vernatis if she could practice some of her healing spells in here sometimes?

Reducio

Thank you so much for doing this thread with me It was an unexpected outcome but even more important than my original idea. You just saved her life!