Care of Magical Creatures

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Anxiety  Closed 

Not being competitive must be nice, sometimes... The thought hadn’t had much of a chance to pass through her head before she shivered in the cold, bitter wind. At least it wasn’t hot. While she was fine with the weather, Koko hated the actual heat, for various reasons that did happen to include her seventh birthday... something she didn’t want to remember.

Closing her eyes, leaning against the wall, and exhaling softly, Koko felt herself relax. She listened to the other girl agree about hiding emotions, something Koko realized she’d been doing ever since that one birthday, maybe even before, and she knew exactly why she did it: she didn’t want attention. Attention always led to some sort of bullying for her, and Koko didn’t want to seem like a target.

A good target she was, but her avoidant personality hardly put her in the path of any arrows, as young Koko hated to socialize, therefore involuntarily saving herself from many terrible situations. While she’d been in various other sticky circumstances, she hoped against getting into any more—but she was likely hated by at least one student in the school. That was the way things worked with her. She’d try to make a good impression and then end up saying or doing something stupid that made her seem absolutely terrible and then made everyone else hate her. No wonder she liked being alone, she thought as she contemplated everything that may have been counted as a wrongdoing.

”Nor do I,” Koko said meekly, and after she let the words out she opened her eyes. ”About the attention. And the worrying. But I don’t really care what people think of me; I mean, my family hates me, how much worse can it get?” Her voice, usually seemingly coated with honey, seemed as whip-thin as the lashes of the wind, laced with a touch of bitterness and a sprinkle of longing. Longing for a little bit of love. Bitterness at the love that never was.

Koko found Phoebe very interesting, not only in the few things that we was finding out through speech, but also in the other girl’s mannerisms. Phoebe didn’t seem to be able, or want to, sit still for a minute. Phoebe seemed to be happy when at times she could almost noticeably (at least to Koko, who had spent years learning how to read emotions in the subtlest of movements) be aching inside. Koko wasn’t sure why, but she didn’t want to see Phoebe ache like that. Perhaps they really were friends...

A small sigh broke Koko’s sealed lips, looking like clouds in the frigid air. The straw in the stables was actually very comfortable, and Koko ended up sliding down until she lay on the straw piled on the ground, staring up at the rickety wooden roof. She’d gotten straw in her hair, and one bit had found a way into her mouth. Not that she really cared; she was also too lazy to do anything about it, so she just let it dangle out of her thin, chapped lips as a small, content smile spread across them. ”so... what do you do in your free time?” Koko asked through her teeth, as to not choke on the bit of straw, as she propped her head up on her arms, resting them under her head. A bit of the straw began to poke at her arm, so she wriggled and squirmed until it stopped, and then she lay there, looking up, and seeing her breath float up like smoke out of a chimney.

We are but dust and shadows.