＊The Long Haul PV⋆ Closed

Everything would've been fine if the tie around Adam's neck could just stay straight.

No matter how many times he tried to adjust it, the bronze stripes always ran askew, mocking him relentlessly. From the minute he'd put it on after getting dressed, his fingers had hardly left the knot, picking and pulling and trying to get it to stay in place. He'd even taken it off and retied it, once or twice, to try and thwart the thing's evil ways. Unfortunately, it was Adam versus the universe, and that was far from a fair fight.

Sometimes he wished that he could tailor himself, like Eris could. With Metamorphmagus power, he wouldn't have to worry about a crooked tie, or a bad hair day, or a clumsy body that he hadn't quite grown into yet. Well, actually, the tie would still be beyond his control (that infernal thing) but the rest of it would be perfect. That's what he needed right now, was to be perfect. The perfect looks and the perfect words. Because what else could he give Eris Fawley if not perfection? What else did she deserve?

In his third year, the Ravenclaw boy had developed quite the melodramatic flair. He knew that nobody could be perfect, not even Metamorphmagi, though they probably tried. More importantly than that, he knew that Eris wasn't expecting perfection. She wasn't going to take one look at him and walk away. She was his best friend, and if she wanted someone perfect, she would've left Adam behind a long time ago. Oh god, he hadn't thought about it like that before. Good thing she hadn't.

Why was it, nowadays, that he was always so scared of what might happen between them? There was a time, not so long ago, when having friends meant less stress, not more. There was a comfy little store three years in the past where two little kids were buying their first robes together. They had no idea what was waiting for them. Adam missed the days when he didn't have to throw a barrier down around his feelings. This side friendship, that side...the unthinkable. The Terror.

L'amour.

Or at least some of it. It was a wonderful thing, love, to see and to dote on. When his parents had been in love, it had made the whole house warmer. When Dean was in love (if you could ever call it that) -- well, it was annoying most of the time, but it kept a smile on his brother's face. When it came to Adam himself, though, he couldn't bear to contemplate it. It overwhelmed him far too quickly, and it complicated all of the best things, like being friends with Eris. The easy solution would've been to just not contemplate it. But then he'd had to go and use the word "date".

Adam was tempted to give himself one more whack on the head as he approached the doors of the Great Hall for that particular blunder. His hands, however, were busy at his throat, fiddling with his tie as his stomach did jumping-jacks alongside his heart. He'd come down to breakfast a bit later than he'd meant to, and he was sure that Eris was already here. Had they ever eaten before? No, wait -- had they ever eaten together before? That was the right question, just as silly as the first, but he couldn't help thinking about it as he pushed through the doors. They had. So what was he afraid for?

Adam's eyes scanned the Ravenclaw table for his friend, the human flare, who would've stood out remarkably against the rest of the blue ties. Apparently, she'd stayed away from his house; he couldn't really blame her, since it was Kaegen's house too, and he was...unnerving. To say the least. Turning his attention to Gryffindor's side of the hall, he wandered over to continue the search.

There she was, at the end of the table, with a piece of toast in her hand. Or what was left of it, at least. Adam didn't try very hard to suppress the grin that spread across his face as he hurried over to join her, sliding down into the seat across from his friend and giving a tiny wave. Something about having Eris in sight calmed him down a little bit.

"Good morning," he offered cheerfully, knowing she'd have to wait a second to swallow her toast before answering. With all of the stuff going on, he'd forgotten about the breakfast part of breakfast. It all came rushing back to him with the smell of fresh bread and dozens of jams. And that was just from the basket nearest them. Trying to take it all in, he decided that he couldn't decide. Here was something to talk about.

"So, what looks good?"

To be quite honest, Eris had halfway thought that Adam would appear and a golden light would illuminate his features, while an angelic chorus started to sing in the background. Apparently, that was not something that happened in real life. Which was kind of a bummer? The reality of the situation was that hearing Adam say good morning caused Eris to choke on her piece of delightfully buttered toast. It did not make a perfectly timed wind blow through her hair and make her look beautiful. Hearing Adam just made Eris extremely surprised.

She almost jumped out of her chair. Even though Eris had expected Adam to come, it was still a shock to hear his voice. Instead of jumping out of her seat, Eris began to cough like she was coming down with a cold. Choking on her piece of toast in a drawn out sequence that was almost comical, Eris reached for a glass of water and promptly spilled half of the contents of the goblet on her robes. Then, she let out a loud hacking cough and drank the rest of the water, cheeks burning more than a wildfire in the middle of a California summer.

“G-good mor-” Eris coughed again, each word a struggle to choke out. She gave up on speech for a long moment, drinking her water. Finally, when she was able to speak again, Eris and her flaming red cheeks faced Adam. She smiled awkwardly, shame making her smile seem all the more pathetic and amusing. “I’m good. I’m good. Sorry.” Why was she saying sorry? There was nothing to be sorry for. God. Eris was so stupid. She almost smacked her forehead, but resisted. Instead, she just put down her water goblet. “Uh. What were you saying? Oh! Yeah. Good morning.” Finally noting Adam’s facial features, Eris noted the grin on his face. Her own smile turned less awkward and more amused. For a moment, Eris said nothing, but broke out into a fit of laughter.

“That was pathetic. Let’s pretend that never happened.” Her grin came easier then, the expectation that things would feel forced and awkward fading away. Still, there was that gap between them that Eris couldn’t identify. Things had changed insurmountably, if Adam was able to make her nervous enough to choke on her toast. The realization dawned on her, as Eris stared at her goblet. She had a crush on Adam.

Having a crush didn’t make any sense. She’d never really understood what that meant. Eris wanted to fall in love and date people, but she didn’t really understand how to do that. Not without being vulnerable about her emotions and risking getting hurt. It was terrifying to even dwell on that, but apparently was becoming the reality of her life. Eris looked at her goblet like it was fascinating, as Adam asked what was good. She then forced herself to look up and pick up her minuscule piece of remaining toast.

“Good?” Her voice rose an octave, as Eris dropped her toast into a pile of butter. She swivelled around to stare at Adam. “You look good- uh!” Eris made a weird noise, reckoning what she had said. “Your tie! Your tie looks good.” She amended, hastily. Cheeks burning even more, Eris looked at the food on the table. Eris had no idea what she was doing. Virtually nothing about this situation made sense to her. Quidditch made sense. Crushes and possible dates did not make sense. Eris wanted to hide under the table and die of shame.

To be honest, she hadn’t really paid much attention to the food. Eris had been more concerned with her anxiety about Adam showing up. Bacon was always a good food to suggest to people. Who didn’t like bacon? Nervously, Eris picked up a piece of bacon and chocolate muffin.

“Honestly,” Her voice was a bit higher and a lot more breathless than Eris would have liked it to be, but she flashed another awkward smile to make up for it. “Everything looks good. But, sugar is my own true love so I have to go with the chocolate muffin. And, bacon. Because who could ever go wrong with bacon?” Had she just called sugar her true love? Oh. No. Stupid. For the second time in minutes, Eris judged herself as a stupid idiot. This was so weird. It wasn’t like she wanted to spend her whole life with Adam, or like she envisioned herself running off into the hills with him-- even if she had suggested that in their letters. But, she did see herself as part of his life. Eris didn’t know what she would do without Adam. She was even willing to lie to her grandparents to spend Christmas at his family’s home, regardless of how strange it would be this year.

Her life had been miserable without Adam in it, as evidenced by last year. And then that goddamn Blossom Ball. It had just been a dance. A singular dance that had sparked the tingly feelings in her gut and changed what had once been innocent friendship into a crush. Eris had heard there was going to be another ball, and while she hadn’t thought about going to the Masked Ball, she wondered if asking Adam would be a good idea.

She hated masks and she hated balls. Both of those things together would be a recipe for disaster. But, with students coming from another school, there would hopefully be more security. Would going to another ball be worth it, if she asked Adam? Eris forgot her bacon, as she studied the side of Adam’s face, cheeks flushing. In that moment, Eris decided that she wouldn’t bring up crushes or Balls, yet. Unless the conversation called for it.

Sheepishly, Eris looked at her plate and picked up the warm chocolate muffin. Ripping off a piece of it, Eris plopped it into her mouth and took her sweet time chewing on the gooey mess of chocolate.

Mmm chocolate. Chocolate wasn’t confusing, unlike boys.

Holy hell. He'd killed her.

Adam was frozen in his seat as he watched chaos erupt in front of him. He'd only said a sentence to Eris, barely a greeting at all, when she'd been struck by some sort of devilish fever. Her cheeks flared red and she started to cough like a cat choking up a hairball. It was quite possibly the scariest noise that Adam had ever heard. Frightened for her well-being, the boy opened his mouth to ask her if she was alright, and things got even worse. The goblet of water that would have been her savior turned on her as well, splashing into her lap before it reached her lips. The water (or what was left of it) seemed to help things just a little, but the damage was done. Adam didn't really know how to proceed from here, save for maybe an exorcism.

It was her smile that finally reassured him that she was okay. Eris was very lovely when she smiled -- not to say that she wasn't typically lovely, of course, but something about the grin on her face delighted Adam. Maybe it was the way that it mirrored his own; he'd always been proud of his ability to make others happy, and he knew that Eris had plenty of struggles to drag her down. When she was with him, he would see to it that she could fly.

When she laughed, he had to join in. There was nothing better than laughing with a friend. And she was right -- that spectacle had been remarkably pathetic, in the best of ways. He raised an eyebrow as she tried to convince him to forget about it and replied teasingly. "Impossible. It's seared into my brain now. I'll never be able to eat a piece of toast again, I'm afraid." Though he kept on an easygoing smile, Adam couldn't help but notice that Eris seem to be lost in thought. Her eyes had focused on her goblet, and he wasn't even sure if she had heard him just then. A second of uncomfortable silence passed before he asked his next question and the entire ordeal started again.

God have mercy, Adam thought as Eris's voice leapt into a squeak and her toast fell from her hands. He wasn't saying anything overtly shocking, was he? Maybe he'd developed some sort of superpower overnight, a kind of hypno-speech that was sending Eris out of her senses. He'd only asked about the food, and suddenly she was at a loss for words. But when she found them -- oh, hell, had she really just said that?

"You look good." Three simple words, quickly amended, but enough to give him a matching blush. He felt his face burn and he looked quickly up to the ceiling, avoiding Eris's gaze. Instantly, his mind went to all of the things he'd picked at in the mirror -- his messy hair, his crooked teeth, his wayward tie. Did she really think he looked good? Why? Why had she brought it up at all? This wasn't what he wanted, or it wasn't what he had been telling himself he wanted. Crossing that line was dangerous, he'd already known that. It could only end in isolation or loss. He muttered a quiet thank you for the compliment about his tie and brought his eyes back down to the table, not quite meeting Eris's anymore.

Doing so only made him feel guilty. It was unfair to his friend to act so distant from her, for something that hadn't even been her fault. Just a slip of the tongue -- he'd had plenty of those today alone. She'd said it, however, accident or not, and it had activated this unexplained panic inside him that made him want to hide his face. He was barely listening as she started to talk about the food in front of them, nodding along when he thought it was appropriate and trying to think this all through. It was a conversation. That was all it was. It had started off awkwardly, but it was still just a conversation, and he could handle those. He'd done it a million times. He steeled himself to return to the real world and tuned back in right as she finished talking about bacon. Adam laughed, hoping it sounded authentic and invested, because he really had no idea what she'd just said.

Eris found shelter in a chocolate muffin then, leaving it up to Adam to keep things going. His stomach rumbled and he realized he'd been neglecting the breakfast part of this whole ordeal. Serving himself a respectable stack of pancakes, he reached across the table for a bottle of syrup and poured it on in silence. The only sound between the two children was the cadence of their chewing: the downside of a mealtime meetup.

"Are you--" Adam began around a mouthful of pancakes, unable to get any further with the food still in his mouth. Wincing at his blunder, he tried to quickly swallow so he would be able to talk again. "Are you excited for Halloween? It's that ball thing this year too. That'll be so cool. I need to figure out how I'm going to dress up. I didn't even think a masquerade was a thing in real life." Adam hoped they didn't expect him to be wearing anything too formal. It was Halloween. He wanted to keep the spirit alive! He wouldn't do anything outrageous, but surely he could come up with a suitable mask for the occasion. Maybe Eris would even help him out!

"Hey!" he declared, not too loudly in fear of surprising her again. "We should -- you should help me out with my costume! Or we can do something together, you know? Those are always so cool! I mean, only if you want to, or if you're not going with somebody else." The last time they'd been at a dance together, all of this nonsense had been born. If he got ahead of things this time around, he could control it. He could set the feeling for the whole event, and he could keep things casual and friendly.

At the very least, he could try his best. Because even though Adam knew it was dangerous to stray from the garden path, and even though he'd seen the pitfalls of love in person, he couldn't stop thinking about what Eris had said to him earlier: you look good. And he couldn't stop thinking about how happy it made him feel.

In five seconds, it was amazing how much one could find out about a plain chocolate muffin. In five split seconds, Eris was able to deduce that muffins were far superior when warmed. Not only this, the chocolate to muffin ratio was especially excellent when the chocolate was gooy and warm. That way, the chocolate was everywhere. Not in isolated sections of the snack. However, Eris’s apparent fascination was just a cheap way to spend five seconds. Although, her gaze drifted towards the golden goblet that she had split upon herself. Muffin still clutched securely in her hands, Eris’s gaze eventually drifted back towards the brown muffin. It was far better to spend five seconds looking a muffin than to spend five seconds looking at Adam’s face.

Who knew what Eris might find looking back at her if she turned to face Adam? It was not the blonde hair or the blue eyes that she feared. Eris knew Adam’s face well enough that five seconds spend looking at his face would be a waste of time. Rather, it was the possibility of finding distaste or worry about her own actions written upon his face that caused Eris to immerse herself in the action of studying her breakfast. It was hard to gauge what reaction Adam would have to Eris’s fumbling gestures and water covered front. That was another plus about chocolate muffins. When eating them, it was a worthy distraction from robes sopping with spilt refreshment.

The world itself seemed to halt, Eris’s own fingers pausing their descent to rip into the chocolatey muffin to pull apart a chunk of gooey goodness. Her silly comments had garnered a reaction from Adam, and it was only natural he would speak. Just as quickly as trepidation set, it vanished. Eris smiled, this time a lot less awkwardly, shoving a bite of muffin into her mouth again. The world returned to its natural order, the chatter of students once again filtering through her ears. It was so easy to banter with Adam, to regain the friendship that the two of them had sorely missed throughout their second year. For a moment, it felt as if nothing had ever changed. Chomping on her small piece of muffin, Eris let out an affronted noise at the words coming out of Adam’s mouth.

“You’ll eat a piece of toast again, you know it! Toast is sacred, you see. To live without toast is to live a life unfulfilled.” And even with all the chaos in her life, it felt that Adam Harringtom would always be a constant. Whatever the two of them went through, it seemed certain they would still connect like this; in little slices of joy. It was the little moments that reminded Eris of why she loved Hogwarts so much. The four tables in the Great Hall, her friend beside her, and the lack of danger in the air. It put a smile on her face, and even if the ‘crush’ situation was rapidly putting a damper on the idealistic moment-- that could be dealt with later.

Later. Even if being in Adam’s presence made Eris’s heart pound faster than a hippogriff’s hooves against the ground. As her cheeks flushed, it was a surprise to see Adam’s face also flush. Whether it was out of second-hand embarrassment for Eris’s improper conduct, or actual nerves, the very sight of Adam also being flustered made Eris nearly drop her muffin again. Not wanting to have dropped everything in sight, Eris put her muffin back on the table with a light thud. Ignoring the way her heart twisted in summersaults, Eris had nearly forgotten how much time had passed.

So immersed in the efforts not to drop the muffin and so entranced by seeing Adam actually turn red in colouration, even the amicable sounds of a fork scraping against plate and the dull chatter of students talking could not tune Eris into the world around her. However, when Adam tried to speak and promptly choked on his pancakes, the young girl did what any teenager denying a crush would do. Not even asking if he was alright, she laughed and waited for him to continue onwards, finding his own mild suffering amusing.

Eris picked up her muffin again, taking another bite out of it. She hadn’t given the ball much thought. Having been busy with Kaegen, reconnecting with friends, and the struggles of being a pureblood, the only thought Eris had given the ball was that it could be dangerous. But, the enthusiasm in Adam’s voice was enough to somewhat convince Eris that the ball couldn’t be that bad. Besides, weren’t foreign kids coming? Lear wouldn’t try anything with Americans present. Right?

“I hear Americans are coming too. Totally weird, right? What do you think Americans are like? I bet they’re all fat and eat hamburgers all day.” Eris chimed in. Her only knowledge of Americans was through her grandfather, and he had nothing good to say about anybody. Not even his own customers in America, who had very long last names and all sounded inefficient in time management skills. But that was another matter, entirely. Far more important in Eris’s mind was the ball.

As she listened, Eris found herself thinking upon how to make the ball safe and insure a good time. She was willing to sacrifice her own enjoyment for Adam’s, although the more he talked, the easier it was to convince herself that the masquerade would be fun. And then he casually mentioned preparing costumes together and implied going to the dance together. Disinterest quickly turned into a vapid interest in the ball. Eris tilted her head to the side, taking a moment to process what Adam was saying. Then it clicked in her brain, and all hell broke loose for the ginger with the emotional range of a teaspoon.

Her voice rose an octave again. And, even with her careful preparation not to drop the muffin… Eris hadn’t been prepared for such a curveball in conversation. The muffin fell onto the floor and sadly smooshed against the stone floor. “Uh- yeah. Ball. We can. Work. Costumes. Together. It’s a date?” Each sentence was disjointed and incohesive, as Eris directed her gaze to Adam. Wide eyes staring at him, Eris found herself looking even younger than usual. Tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear, which was quickly becoming a nervous habit, she managed another awkward smile.

“I mean like not if you don’t want to, I might have totally misinterpreted that, but I’d really like to go to the dance with you because I think that would be fun and we danced last year… if you remember.” Now she spoke rapidly. If the two had been standing up, Eris would have been looking at the ground and rocking back and forth like the girls in movies so often did. But, as the two were seated, Eris instead looked down at the muffin now on the floor.

Giving the conversation a brief interlude of a pause, whether out of nervousness or sheer awkwardness was up to interpretation, Eris looked at the muffin with a betrayed expression. Chocolate was supposed to be easier to understand than boys, but now her chocolate was lying on the floor! That wasn’t all that reassuring.