Animated Animals & Talk over Tea Time PV Cl

@Jack Burnett

There was exactly one thing Ruka knew for sure he was as he made his way down to the courtyard, dressed in a dark green, short sleeved T-Shirt and grey jeans he had quickly changed into after the end of classes, and that was nervous.

Maybe the anxiety crawling up and down his spine and keeping him from breathing every now and then was completely unwarranted, maybe there was absolutely no reason for him to be imagining countless disastrous scenarios of the encounter he was about to have, but he couldn't help it. He genuinely hadn't imagined Jack to respond to his tea invitation as quickly as he had, and definitely not with his own pair of crafty animal tea bags that had made Ruka laugh against his will when he had received them. Unsure of what exactly the reason was behind the squid and octopus shapes, Ruka knew he was going to have to ask about it, but for a start they had much more important topics to cover, such as his own behaviour at the race as well as what Ruka had perceived as Jack's blatant disregard of his feelings.

Those topics were exactly the reason Ruka found himself wearing a vague expression of dread as he walked out onto the courtyard, eyes scanning the area for that familiar head of red hair. Flash's words from less than a week ago about how he needed to put some trust in Jack were still ringing in his ears as he put one foot after the other, feeling almost a little out-of-body as he approached the right table.

Avoiding immediate eye contact and foregoing a greeting, Ruka set his own messenger bag down on the ground before taking a seat, leaving an empty chair between them for some safe distance as his eyes scanned the various pots and cups on the table. The sight elicited a small smile on his otherwise near expressionless face, eyes sparkling with vague amusement. "Were you expecting more people?" he asked straight away as he pulled the tea bags Jack had sent him out of his pocket, gently removing the tissue he had wrapped them in for save keeping. "Or are you just really in the mood for tea?"

Of course, Ruka thought he understood the purpose; Four tea pots for four tea bags, and eight cups so they could both have a cup of each flavour if they wanted to. Still, the sight caused him to smirk lightly; The whole table taken up by tea sets for just the two of them. Passing people would most likely assume Jack was setting up for a tea party.

Not that any of those other people mattered anyway.

Taking a deep breath, Ruka placed his tea bags next to one of the pots, deciding not to put them inside just yet. The heat emanating from them gave way to the fact that there was already hot water inside, and Ruka didn't want to test out the magical aspects of the tea bags just yet, especially not without both of their focus being on it. Their hard work deserved all of their attention.

He gingerly reached for a biscuit, nibbling on one end of it for a short moment before putting it down on the table in front of him to actually look at Jack for the first time since the race. More than two weeks of avoidance had done next to nothing to prepare Ruka for seeing him again. He thought his mind may have cleared by then, that he'd be able to set aside any negative emotions he had created for himself to have the perfect setting for an apology that would allow them to move on as if Ruka's most recent breakdown had never happened.

Instead he just felt kind of nauseous.

"Thanks for coming," he said blankly, gaze not wavering as he did his best to catch Jack's eye, try to maintain some sort of connection that would convey that Ruka wasn't about to break down and run away from the situation the way he had last time. "Wasn't sure you would, if I'm honest." And that was the thing, wasn't it? The missing trust Flash had pointed out to him, the fact that despite the countless times Jack had proved to care about him more than anybody else had so far, in the depths of his mind Ruka still wasn't sure if he was worth showing up for.

Disposable wasn't a word he would have ever liked to describe himself with but it had been crossing his mind far too often already this month.

"But I'm glad you did." He managed a small smile, a bit of tension unable to leave his face no matter how much he was trying to make it. As light hearted as the setting appeared, Ruka thought he probably had some things to say that would potentially ruin other people's tea time, so he didn't allow himself to feel too relaxed.

"I figured it might be good for us to get to... talk. Give us both a chance to talk about what happened at the race, maybe? I know you didn't seem to have a lot to say back then but I thought..." Shaking his head, Ruka averted his gaze shortly as his fingers tapped a quick One, two, three against the table top, like an instant control switch on his emotions. There was no anger or resentment in his tone, it was all stored in the soothing rhythm of his tapping fingertips.

"I thought maybe you'd like to explain to me what exactly you thought you were doing there? Because I've seen you do a lot of dumb stuff before, but nothing that has ever felt so thoroughly, pointlessly harmful."

When the Slytherin laid eyes on his soon-to-be-adopted-older-brother, he was pleasantly surprised to see him having changed (unlike himself, who hadn't bothered and was still in his school uniform) into more casual clothes. The dark green T-shirt and and grey jeans spoke of a casualty Jack would have otherwise had trouble associating with Ruka; a comfortable lifestyle that he thought the fire-dancer should have had and the only one that he himself had ever known.

It was a far cry from his father's old clothes that the Gryffindor had deliberately worn for the relay race. Ironically, however, it seemed almost a bit too casual for the tea party that had been called - not to mention the tension Jack could recognize in every one of the older boy's movements.

"Tân! Just in time," he greeted cheerfully, deciding not to dwell on what he figured would make itself known in the not-too-far future. When Ruka refused to meet his gaze, his smile tightened, but he forced a chuckle anyway at the second year's teasing questions while he sat himself down.

"Please don't play dumb," he pleaded in a mock beg. "You know there are enough people around here who are worse off than you can probably even pretend to be and I already have to deal with them on a daily basis, so don't you start. I'd much rather have a conversation on our level. Especially since we're likely going to be doing that a lot more once summer comes around." He offered a polite smile with a courteous bow of his head, taking out the fox tea bags from his own schoolbag. "We should practice."

It was then that his gaze fell upon the tentacled tea bag creatures that Ruka set near one of the steaming pots, noting that they hadn't yet been put in. He frowned slightly, thinking about how the hot water would soon get cold, but knew better than to mention it. There was definitely a reason why he was delaying the start of their tea party, and even if the water did turn luke warm, Jack had no doubts Ruka could easily heat it up again with a myriad of methods.

"Besides, if I'm going to be coerced into having a tea party, I thought we might as well go all out and try all the different types I could. Maybe I'll actually be able to tell the difference between them this way. And, if we're lucky, perhaps we can even overwrite the last tea party experience I recall you having in February. Unless you've had more since."

His hazel eyes flickered up at Ruka a moment before cutting to a biscuit and snatching one up to put on a napkin next to him. "In any case, better to be safe than sorry. And we wouldn't want to crowd the poor animals, now, would we? I'm sure some aren't fond of having others too close to them." Well, at least the Irish boy had finally deigned to look at him.

He picked up the biscuit and took a bite, chewing thoughtfully. When he noticed Ruka nibble a bit on another before setting it down, Jack cast the other boy an incredulous smirk, raising a brow. "Tân, really? Why bother just nibbling a little if you're not going to take an actual bite?" He pursed his lips, debating whether or not to be the first to broach the subject of Ruka's obvious discomfort. Ruka saved him the trouble...sort of.

"Thanks for coming," he said, his tone and expression fairly unreadable. "Wasn't sure you would, if I'm honest. But I'm glad you did."

Jack swallowed the mouthful of biscuit in his mouth before responding. "'Wasn't sure I would'? Well, why wouldn't I?" the first year wanted to know, an edge to his voice and a challenge in his smile. "As of the end of last April, I don't have any reason to avoid you. Aren't you the one who's been avoiding me this time? Even if I'm not sure why?"

"I figured it might be good for us to get to... talk. Give us both a chance to talk about what happened at the race, maybe? I know you didn't seem to have a lot to say back then but I thought..."

At this Jack folded his hands together, interlocking his fingers, and leaned forward with an exaggeratedly over-eager expression, patiently waiting for the Ruka to continue.

"I thought maybe you'd like to explain to me what exactly you thought you were doing there? Because I've seen you do a lot of dumb stuff before, but nothing that has ever felt so thoroughly, pointlessly harmful."

For a moment, the Slytherin didn't move; he was as stiff as if he'd been hit with a Freezing Charm. Then, slowly, his exhaled through his nose and his shoulders slowly relaxed as if he were a melting ice sculpture. The laughter that escaped him shortly after was just as harsh and cold as if he were one, too. Closing his eyes, he shook his head and sighed after; still grinning, but without mirth.

"I suppose it did seem a little odd that you would invite me to tea randomly like this after so long of not having heard from you. Especially considering how short and simple your message was when I finally did get one. I should have known you had ulterior motives besides inviting me to simply watch your tea bags fall apart in hot water."

With a suddenly fond smile that was difficult to authenticate as real or fake, he propped his elbow up on the table and rested his cheek in his palm to beam at Ruka as if in admiration. "Haha...the whole situation reminds me of Flash a little...especially when we first met. I wonder if you've had similar experience with him; if he's rubbing off on you." He shrugged. "Or maybe you do this sort of thing all the time and I just wasn't aware of it until now. You certainly know how to manipulate emotions, in any case." His smile faded then, smoothing out into a more neutral expression.

Jack removed his elbow from the tabletop and sat up in his chair, continuing to speak as he took a cloth napkin from the table and spread it across his lap.

"Setting aside the question of why you had to wait until now to finally speak to me on the matter...aren't there a few other things that you would like to explain to me, first?" The taller boy studied Ruka with a cool-headed, calculating countenance. "Why you showed up to the errand race in your dad's old clothes, for example? Anything I did came after that." His attention flickered to the tapping of his conversation partner's fingers on the table, but swiftly returned to the fire dancer's face.

The Welsh boy had been willing to put what had happened behind them for the sake of a fun, silly afternoon tea party. However, if Ruka had called him there to discuss the cause for events and behaviors from before, Jack was more than happy to comply. He just hoped Ruka knew what he was getting himself into after passing up his chance to simply excuse the whole mess. After all, from Jack's point of view, the Gryffindor had a lot more questionable, immature, enigmatic behaviors to answer for on the day of their last meeting than Jack did.

@Ruka Tân

@Jack Burnett

There was a joy in Jack's initial greeting that Ruka almost felt guilty to not be able to reciprocate; Much like at the race itself he could see the other boy's expression shifting, a chuckle falling from his lips that didn't seem nearly as genuine as Ruka would have liked it to. It wasn't like he was trying to set a negative atmosphere, but it was also no surprise that Jack would pick up on his tension and discomfort in no time.

Still, the Slytherin had not been discouraged from some teasing banter, pleading with Ruka not to play dumb when they could practice having a conversation on their level instead. He would have liked to write it off as arrogance for Jack to see his own conversational skills to be so above the majority of Hogwarts students, but it wasn't like he was wrong in his implication. At least the subtle hint that they would be having more of those kinds of conversations once summer came around gave Ruka a bit of comfort; Jack hadn't changed his mind, at least not enough to outright deny him the offer of a roof over his head for the summer.

Ruka was aware that it was nothing but his own insecurities that made him expect to be told he had to go back to the streets for the summer after all, but to have some kind of confirmation that that wasn't the case significantly calmed his mind either way.

"Alright then," he agreed, leaning back a little in his chair. "Let's practice." He watched as Jack took out his own tea bags, the little fox shapes seemingly smaller than the squid and octopus ones the Slytherin had made himself, but Ruka decided that it only appeared that way due to the creatures' tentacles.

His focus didn't stay on the tea bags for long as Jack continued talking, throwing around more words than strictly warranted by Ruka's own drawn out silence, but the Gryffindor wasn't about to intercept. More words brought more expressions, which brought more clarity to the muddy waters of miscommunication they may have created between them. Ruka was not opposed to listening and observing and found himself almost grateful for Jack to be providing so much material to work with.

Still, the pretence of talking about tea parties and trying different teas wore thin very quickly as Ruka's own expression kept alternating between hollow disinterest and vague amusement. He hadn't really come here to discuss anything quite this shallow, no matter how much Jack was setting things up to be an excuse to simply move on from their last encounter without dissecting each other's behaviour. Maybe the Slytherin saw no reason to get hung up about it, would have been happy to ignore what had happened, but Ruka wasn't going to miss the chance of tackling the core of the issue.

He was aware of having made plenty of mistakes himself and wasn't above owning up to them, but he wasn't going to let Jack get off Scott-free for having set the whole thing up for escalation.

Shrugging lightly, Ruka turned the biscuit he had just nibbled on between his fingers before setting it back down with a small smirk tugging at the left corner of his mouth at Jack's incredulous words. "All in my own time," he said simply before pressing his back against the metal back rest of the chair and with that straightening his spine and rolling the tension from his shoulders.

Questioning why Ruka had believed Jack to have reason not to show up came at him like a double-edged sword. "Was I supposed to assume you'd come running when I call?" he asked in return, head tilted to the side as his hollow gaze met Jack's challenging one for a moment. "You had a choice, I'm just saying I wasn't sure which one you'd make."

Watching Jack folding his hands together and leaning forward, Ruka resisted the urge to flinch back and away from the proximity, instead focusing his gaze on the other boy's expression, an eagerness for the continuation of Ruka's words that was clearly over-the-top, magnified by something Ruka couldn't exactly put his finger on. It changed shortly after anyway, into something icy, stripped off any lighthearted joy or the remains of mockery had there been any. His words had hit something, alright, but whether it was something that would move the conversation in the right direction remained to be seen.

"That option is still on the table," he pointed out when Jack spoke of Ruka's ulterior motives in inviting him here, the implication that the invite to have tea and laugh at the Gryffindor's poor handiwork was merely a facade to lure Jack into this conversation tasting like sour candy on Ruka's tongue. "I never said you had to explain anything to me. Just that I thought you might like to. Tea parties are meant to spark conversation, aren't they? We're just talking. If you'd rather have some tea in silence, just say the word." Despite not wanting to make assumptions, Ruka found himself quite confident in saying that Jack wasn't going to take him up on his offer for an easy way out of this conversation.

If life was a battle field then words were Jack's weapon of choice.

The smile spreading on the Slytherin's face did nothing to ease any tension in Ruka's body, only sparked a moment of confusion as he tried to decipher the reason behind it. Genuine fondness? Mockery? Masking something else entirely?

He didn't get a chance to dwell on it as the words that followed it hit him like a brick, making his face contort in a grimace at being compared to Flash for exactly the thing Ruka didn't trust the other snake; The way he knew how to manipulate and play with people's emotions like they were an instrument he had been practicing for years. What hypocrisy for Ruka to have taken a page out of that book he had been shamelessly tearing apart each time he had encountered Flash before.

Deciding not to deem the observation worth a verbal comment, Ruka let the grimace on his face smooth out into an expression matching Jack's, not betraying any prominent emotion.

There was no surprise in the deflection of his question, a method Ruka was all too familiar with. There was no room for fair turns in a conversation this loaded; It was like passing a gun back and forth between opponents and challenging them to fire the first shot. Each plea for an explanation was subtly underlined by an I dare you that Ruka had a hard time resisting.

"I didn't realise I was going to have to justify myself for the way I dress," he pointed out with a little smirk. "Don't tell me anything you did would have changed if I'd worn something fancier. I didn't take you to be that shallow." Rolling his eyes, Ruka put both hands down on the table in front of him, palms loosely grazing the surface. The tapping of his fingers had ceased for now as he was slowly easing into the conversation. Talking to Jack had always come easily to him and he wondered when exactly he had started to doubt that it would continue being like that. "Flash on the other hand has judged me for it from the start. I suppose I can't blame you if you hadn't realised, but I've learned to notice the way people look at you when you don't look like you fit into the world they've painted for themselves."

Lifting a hand, Ruka slowly and calmly ran it through his hair.

"I had no intention of fitting into his world." His own eyes darkened cooly, lips pursed as he stared at Jack with a confidence he wasn't sure he'd ever realised he possessed. "So why did you keep trying to make me?"

"Was I supposed to assume you'd come running when I call?" Ruka asked as he tilted his head while meeting Jack's gaze.

"I wouldn't have thought you'd have needed to assume it, considering you know me well enough," Jack answered, sounding unimpressed.
"Not being sure about the choices I'd make is for other people. Not you," he emphasized. "I had thought you'd have known that by now, but evidently we aren't on the same page like I thought we were. What the hell made you so uncertain and insecure all of a sudden? You weren't like this before!"

"I never said you had to explain anything to me. Just that I thought you might like to. Tea parties are meant to spark conversation, aren't they? We're just talking. If you'd rather have some tea in silence, just say the word."

The Welsh boy shook his head. "If I'd thought I had anything to explain, don't you think I would have done so by now? If not in person because you were avoiding me, then by owl? You were the one I didn't understand! Just like tea parties. Who in the hell said they were meant to spark conversation? If they were, maybe I'd like them better, because all I know is small talk is spoken at them for 'polite conversation' rather than to discuss things that really matter."

Jack watched Ruka grimace at his comment which had been made specifically to test just how uncomfortable the other boy was with being compared to Flash. Apparently it was worse than he'd thought. Just what, exactly, was between them? Surely all that bitterness couldn't have simply stemmed from that one kiss, could it have? Especially when they had supposedly made up about it after the race before Ruka had walked off.

"I didn't realize I was going to have to justify myself for the way I dress," Ruka answered with a smirk that caused Jack to raise a brow. Did he really have the gall to smirk at him right now? Now, when they were trying to be serious about this and communicate enough to figure out what had gone wrong? "Don't tell me anything you did would have changed if I'd worn something fancier. I didn't take you to be that shallow."

"It would have!" he snapped, referring to how his behavior had changed if Ruka had worn something fancier. "This has nothing to do with appearances, either, and you know it! It's about what those clothes mean. What they mean to you, what not wearing the ones my mom got for you means to you, not to mention me. Even if that hadn't been an issue, the fact that you were using that to be spiteful, regardless of who you were trying to hurt, was lower than anything I thought you capable of!" His voice became sad then, shoulders and expression drooping like a kid who had been disappointed by his hero.

"I didn't take you to ever be that vindictive! What the heck have either Flash or I done to deserve that? You're deliberately hurting us using the fact that we care about you!"

His voice strained then and he stopped to try to recompose himself, hoping to clear his throat. Taking a moment to pour himself a teacup of just plain hot water, he sipped at it and took some deep breaths, listening to Ruka continue.

"I had no intention of fitting into his world," the second year told him calmly. "So why did you keep trying to make me?"

Jack snorted in mock humor at that. "What world is it that you think you're being made to try to fit into? Flash's?" he demanded to know. "And what is it I'm doing that makes you think I'm trying to fit you into it in the first place? I'm not under any illusions that anyone could make you do anything, Tân. Everyone makes their own choices and you're more strong-willed than most. So even if I wanted to, which I don't, why would I bother even trying to make you when I know it'd be a stupid, futile effort in the first place?"

The first year's tone was more pleading than anything else, looking worried out of his mind like he'd been trying to hide since the first day he'd realized Ruka had been avoiding him on purpose.

"What...what am I doing wrong? Please, tell me!"

@Ruka Tân

@Jack Burnett

Every single word Jack threw at him felt like a punch to the gut, made Ruka's shoulders tense, gaze lowering to simply stare at his hands. There were some scabs scattered across his knuckles he wasn't able to keep from picking at every once in a while, prolonging their time to heal properly, but he barely saw them. The implication that Jack had thought him to know him better than he apparently did sparked repressed tears to blur his vision almost painfully.

What had made him so insecure? What was it exactly that made him so uncertain about whether Jack was going to show up for him when it mattered? "Suppose I figured you'd found someone else you'd rather go to," he said vaguely, a flash of a memory from his conversation with Flash burning itself behind his eyelids.

I can't trust people to stay because... Because there's always something better and more important for them to turn to instead.

He quickly shook his head off the thought, keeping his gaze fixed on his hands for a moment before daring to look back up at Jack once he was sure to be able to keep his tears from falling. This wasn't the time to let himself fall apart again; This was the time to talk, to iron out the creases in the fabric of their relationship with each other, or to burn holes into it. Either way, things needed to keep going, and it didn't seem like Jack was about to dwell on anything, moving on to reprimand Ruka for his view on tea parties and pointing out how the Gryffindor was the one to be explaining himself, that it was him Jack didn't understand.

Did he really not? Could he actually be so blind to the way Ruka gravitated to him with an irresistible pull, protectively, willingly, desperately?

"Well, my tea parties are different from conventional ones then, surprise," he said in a deadpan voice, lifting his hands for a moment, wiggling his fingers in a theatrical gesture. He would have started explaining himself then if he had been sure about what exactly it was that Jack didn't understand. It had all been so obvious to Ruka on the day of the race, so clear there was nothing left to misunderstand, but clearly he had been wrong about that because there was a strain in Jack's voice that conveyed the truth of his words. He didn't understand.

Anything, probably.

It was when Jack snapped at him that Ruka felt himself being pulled out of his thoughts, of the empty gaze he'd adapted in an attempt to keep himself from overflowing with emotion. Forehead creasing in something like confusion, he fixed his gaze on Jack, heart pounding faster with each word, mind reeling. Despite keeping his focus on the other boy's face, Ruka could feel his eyes flicker in thought, left and right, only minimally so, as he tried to make sense of what Jack was saying.

"What?" he asked dumbly, quietly, nose wrinkling as his lips pulled into a grimace. What was Jack talking about?

For a second, as he watched the Slytherin's head and shoulders drop in defeat, Ruka was tempted to reach out, offer some kind of comforting touch, but the thought made his skin crawl again, fingers twitching with the urge to scratch the feeling away. What was wrong with him?

There was no time to dwell on it as Jack continued talking, words that made Ruka feel like the world stopped for a second, his heart and mind simply ceasing to work, like a blown fuse drowning his world in pitch black. He couldn't see the boy in front of him for what felt like ages before he was able to blink the vision back into focus.

He had only recently told Flash that he knew Jack cared about him, that was no news to him, even if he'd never actually heard the Slytherin admit to it out loud. No, what made him struggle for words for a moment was the realisation that hit him like a bucket of ice water, the impression he must have given when he had showed up to the race looking like he had.

"Flash doesn't care about me," was the first thing he found himself saying, conviction strengthening his words. There was still time to explain his actions after clarifying this, considering Ruka didn't feel like he actually needed to defend himself from an accusation that didn't tackle his real intentions. "He didn't know a single thing about me. He's seen a mess from the first time he looked at me, and once he realised I wasn't a mess he could use he figured I was a mess he could fix. It had nothing to do with me." And wasn't that just what had been bugging Ruka so much about anything kind Flash had ever tried to do towards him? The fact that it couldn't possibly stem from any genuine care due to the fact that the Slytherin had never bothered to find out more about the person behind the mess before attempting to fix it?

"And I'm so tired of people trying to fix me, Jack." His voice sounded loud and clear in his head but it came out faint and broken. "It's all they used to do when they'd see me in my old clothes, they don't bother having a conversation with me, they just try to fix things to feed their own ego, feel better about themselves, ease whatever kind of guilt they have flooding through them on a day to day basis." He shook his head, a cynical smile spreading across his face. For a moment he lowered his gaze, taking a deep breath before looking back up to finally elaborate on his intentions.

"I didn't wear what I was wearing to hurt anybody," he said, an almost pleading look crossing his face, begging to be believed. He didn't think anything had ever stung him as much as the disappointment oozing from Jack's slumped form. "I just wanted to annoy him. He keeps... Whenever I see him, he keeps trying to fix things about my clothes and I thought... I thought it'd frustrate him enough to lose his patience with me." He shrugged lightly, hanging his head as he could feel the beginnings of shame coursing through his body. "I didn't think it was anything more than childish. Ridiculous maybe, even. I didn't... I thought..."

His voice broke for a moment as he struggled to explain himself. What was he supposed to say that wouldn't come out sounding absolutely pathetic? Well, if Jack was already disappointed, maybe it didn't matter all that much anymore anyway.

"The only reason I showed up was because I thought he was going to hurt you," he said quietly, gaze fixed on the surface of the table. "That's what it sounded like when he asked me to the race. Like he was threatening to hurt you somehow. I didn't want him to get the impression like I was showing up for him. Like anything had changed since the first time I met him." A hollow laugh bubbled from his chest as he looked back up again, green locking with hazel where it could. "There, let me hear how stupid that was," he demanded with a wave of his hand and an embarrassed smile. "I just... Wanted him to know I'm still that mess he tried to use to get back at you and couldn't. That I'm still... Looking out for you."

Shaking his head he decided that anything more he could say about that would simply be repeating himself, maybe do nothing but compromise the barely-there clarity of his thoughts even more. Hopefully it was enough to explain himself somehow anyway, enough for Jack to understand his intentions.

His gaze hardened a little again as Jack continued talking, pointing out how futile it would be to try to force Ruka into anything, but the words sounded so contradicting to his actions that it made Ruka's head spin.

"So what was that then?" he asked harshly, gesticulating with his right hand as if that could somehow encompass the race in its entirety. "Keeping me there to talk to Flash when I clearly didn't want to, that wasn't trying to make a choice for me? Making my own choices means I get to decide who to talk to, and when. You didn't even..." He took a deep breath as he could feel his voice starting to rise a little. He wasn't going to lose his composure, not now, not like this. "You didn't even look at us, you just threw us at each other because you decided we needed to talk. What in the world gave you the impression that I wanted to talk to him?"

His words died down when he realised the tone of Jack's voice, the worry in his face, like he was somehow scared. Of the conversation? Of Ruka? It would have been enough to shatter his heart into millions of pieces, even without the sentence that followed, the childlike plea for an explanation, for direction, guidance. Ruka had done that to him.

There had never been anything in his life he had regretted as much as putting that tone into Jack's voice, that expression onto his face.

"I don't know how to be good enough for you," was the only thing he could think of saying in response, voice cracking at the seams of the sentence. His throat felt like someone had tightened a noose around it, eyes stinging with the need to cry the tears he'd been holding back. "I try to do everything I can for you, and I know you never asked me to, I know you'd probably rather I didn't but I..." He swallowed heavily, covering his face in the palms of his hands for a moment so he didn't need to look at Jack's face, terrified of what he'd see in it the next time he caught a glimpse. "I don't know how to care about people either, you know?" he said from behind his hands before dropping them again to fold them on top of the table, gaze carefully locking with Jack's once more.

"I just know that I do care about you and I..." He let out a dry, painful chuckle, biting his lip as if knowing what he was about to say was going to sound stupid. "And I'm scared you don't care about me as much. I'm scared you care more about Flash than about me.” He shook his head, releasing a hollow laugh as if to make fun of his own words. "There, is that what you wanted to hear?"

Jack's pain only increased when he saw the damage his words did to Ruka, but he thought it was necessary to get through to him at this point, so he wasn't going to apologize. Instead, he waited patiently in quiet agony for the older boy's response.

"Suppose I figured you'd found someone else you'd rather go to."

Reminded of Ruka's desperate claim to Flash that Jack was all he had, the Welsh boy sighed and put his face in his hands a minute. Back to this again, then. He told himself he hadn't addressed it before because that discussion had been about settling things between Flash and Ruka. Even then, though, he had struggled with how to soothe Ruka's concerns about this one topic.

He still wasn't sure how. It wasn't something he'd ever had to do before. No one had been worried about losing him as a...what? Not a friend... So what did Ruka have to lose? It would be even harder to lose him as a brother, but perhaps the other boy didn't know that considering how the rest of his family had ended up deserting him one way or the other eventually.

"Well, my tea parties are different from conventional ones then, surprise."

The remark earned a reluctant laugh from the first year and he looked up from his hands again, once more trying to smile. But Ruka was processing the other things he'd said, now asking Jack what he was talking about, but the Welsh boy was pretty sure his Irish counterpart knew. He just needed to give him some time to think it over and allow it to sink in.

Ah, he thought, noticing the realization dawning on the copper-haired boy's face. He finally realized the gravity of his actions. Still, in Ruka's mind, it apparently only applied to him, Jack; not Flash. The redheaded Slytherin smirked grimly at his teacup as he listened to the Gryffindor insist that the brunet didn't really care about him and why he thought as much.

"...Tân," he said slowly once he thought his upperclassman was done. "I know. I know you must be tired of people pitying you and trying to 'fix' you and abandoning you and leaving you. But you have to be able to tell the difference between the kind of people who will do that to you and the kind that won't."

He met the other boy's bright green eyes. "Your mother may have abandoned you, but she didn't even know you and you didn't know her, so that doesn't count. Your father might have left you, but it wasn't his choice. I know you said he wouldn't listen to you when you tried to get him to look after himself better; that it seemed his pride was worth more to him than you. I can't claim to know why he did that, because I didn't know him, but I'm not that sort of person. I'm a Slytherin, remember? Sure, I have my pride too, but there are more important things...and people...to me."

Pursing his lips, he made a face. "As for Flash...I may not know him all that well either, but I think I might understand him a little better than you. I get what you're saying, but don't you think it's a little unfair to be so sure he doesn't care about you just because he doesn't exhibit it in the way you're used to recognizing it?" Jack picked up the pair of foxes and compared them to each other, admiring their details as he continued talking.

"Just because he doesn't tell you everything he knows about you doesn't mean he's clueless. I bet he's more familiar with you than you realize, since he's one of the most observant people I know and he pays attention to others. Sure, that may have been a skill he picked up with the intention of achieving his own selfish goals, but it doesn't mean he can't or hasn't used it for less selfish objectives, either. Besides, even if he doesn't know all that much, do you really think you have to know someone all that well to care about them? All it takes is the smallest thing. For example, why did you stop me when I tried to leave the first time I met you? You hardly knew anything about me."

Jack cast Ruka a curious look. "If he wants to 'fix' you or 'help' you, couldn't that be because he potentially cares about you? If it really had nothing to do with you, why wouldn't he just move on to someone else instead of repeatedly putting himself at the mercy of your brutal opinion of him? There are plenty of people around here to fix. But you're so busy thinking about how little everyone must think of you, sure of it because that's how you see yourself, that you refuse to consider that maybe they want to stick around because they admire you." He waved one of the foxes at his conversation partner. "I know I do."

The comment about Ruka having 'just wanted to annoy him' caused the younger boy to roll his eyes and shake his head in dismay. "'Didn't wear what you were wearing to hurt anybody' my ass," he hissed. "You say you wanted to annoy him; that's a lesser way to 'hurt' someone, but it's still an intention to hurt them. It's still being spiteful, so that in itself was low. But more than that, you failed to consider how it would affect others, like me, who I guess ended up being collateral damage in your ironic attempt to try to 'protect me' from him. And, because you were too stubborn in your mindset to consider that it was possible he might actually care about you, you didn't stop to think about one very important thing."

Jack crossed his arms over his chest as he fixed his senior with a serious gaze. "Regardless of why or to what degree, doesn't the fact that you could annoy him or hurt him or get to him in any way simply by the state of your clothes just prove that he cares about you to some capacity? Who else would give a damn? Why do you think he tries to fix up your clothes at all? The fact that he even pays attention enough to know that's not what you should have been wearing and that you had other options just proved that he worries. And you used that worry against him."

His brows steepled. "Tan...do you have any idea what it feels like to willingly give someone power over you by caring for them and devoting your attention to them, only to be stabbed in the back when they turn around to use that very affection for them as a weakness? That's taking advantage of the piece of themselves that they gave to you. I sincerely think you must know what that feels like by now." He studied the bits of bright orange nail polish flecks still decorating his fingernails. "You're too smart and experienced not to know. And there are better ways to get through to someone than to try to frustrate someone enough to make them lose their patience with you, especially if you're someone they want to help."

Hazel eyes cut back once more to the tea bag foxes.
"You said you came to the race because you thought he was going to try to hurt me. But the fact that you so carelessly ended up hurting me yourself suggests otherwise. Seemed more to me like you were doing it for your own selfish reasons and for your pride. And maybe that's why you're a Gryffindor." His mouth twisted. "You claim to do things for justice, but you fail to recognize when it's just to feed your own ego; to put people down and grind them into the mud so you can come out on top."

Maybe...maybe that was going a bit too far. Jack hadn't liked the way Ruka had behaved at the race, but faulting the Gryffindor for his pride when that seemed to have been the very thing that had essentially killed his father might have been crossing a line. He sighed deeply again, wondering if tea might have helped his nerves at a time like this. Hopefully they could get to it soon.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "That was uncalled for. I'm grateful you thought of me and wanted to protect me. Honestly," Jack assured Ruka.

"It's just...I don't understand how you could possibly think he would try to threaten you by making you think he was going to hurt me. What would he have to gain from that? It makes no logical sense." He scratched his head. "And if you really did think he might have had it out for me, couldn't you have told me before the race or sent me an owl or something? No one said you had to come if you didn't want to, did they?" Jack frowned slightly. "The fact that you didn't trust me enough to tell me or be able to handle it on my own kinda hurts, too."

By then, though, Ruka was the one who was agitated, demanding his own answers. Jack waited to hear him out, continuing to take deep breaths and inhale the steam of the hot tea while he listened. He wondered how much of their tension and feelings had to do with the fact that summer was quickly approaching; that they might not be good enough for each other as brothers or family or whatever else. One of Ruka's statements confirmed as much on his own side, at least. Apparently it hadn't seemed to occur to him that Jack might have had the same worry.

"That wasn't making a choice for you," he countered with a steady voice. "You and I both know you could have freed yourself and escaped any number of other ways if you'd really wanted to. A little tackle wouldn't have stopped you if you really meant to leave. But I figured you must have come to the race for more than just what you said you did, whether you were consciously aware of it or not. So I had to give you an excuse to stay while simultaneously letting you know I wanted you to."

He spread his arms in exasperation. "What did you want me to look at you for? Obviously you did need to talk, didn't you? The fact you were behaving like such a brat toward him was what gave me the impression you wanted to talk to him. You two obviously had a problem with each other that needed to be cleared up, but neither of you told me anything about it, so I figured it was best I not directly interfere. Just act as a mediator."

Jack smiled weakly, shaking his head again. "You really don't get it, do you?" he sighed. "You're already good enough, Tân. I wouldn't have stuck around this long if I didn't think so. It's me who's worried I won't be good enough for you. That my family won't be." He traced the rim of his teacup with a fingertip.

"What if I turn out to be an awful brother because I've never been one before? What if you decide you hate us? I've been racking my brains trying to figure out how I can be better and be worthy of you. To make sure you never start to feel like we pity you or are trying to 'fix' you or whatever else, but I often have trouble differentiating the things and intentions you say other people offer and have towards you that you don't like and my own things and intentions."


He held his head between his palms, sliding them slowly down the sides of his face as he continued. "There's so many things that Flash and I have in common that I can't help but worry you do or eventually will end up thinking the same of me that you do of him; closing yourself off to me like you do to him without even giving me a chance because you're too stubborn and set in your mindset to think you might possibly be wrong." Jack slumped back in his chair, dropping his arms as if in weary defeat.

"You said you try to do everything you can for me even though I never asked you to and you know I would probably rather I didn't, but that you don't know how to care about people either. So can you hold it against either Flash or I for trying to the same for you? The only difference is we each have our own way. I was just lucky enough to know you first and a little longer than he has."

Ruka's humorless laughter and chuckles throughout his talk hurt Jack's heart, but he knew better than to try to reach out to the other boy just then. He remained in his seat instead, attempting to regain eye-contact.

"I'm not saying Flash is perfect," he wanted the Gryffindor to know. "I'd just like to think I know his problems and fears better than most because many of them are similar to mine. Like worrying about losing you. Because we do care about you."

He gestured indignantly. "And how can you think I possibly care about Flash more than you? Did you see me inviting him into my home and upsetting my 12-year-old streak of being an only child?" Taking a paper plane from his book bag, he tossed it at Ruka's face. "And don't ask me 'if that's what I wanted to hear'. You sound like you're trying to be a people-pleaser like he tries to be. It drives me nut enough with him, so don't you start, too."

@Ruka Tân

@Jack Burnett

For a while, Jack didn't seem to have anything to say to the few words Ruka allowed himself to utter, but the Gryffindor knew better than to weigh himself in safety; Simply the calm before the storm, nothing else. Knowing Jack there was most likely plenty he wanted to get off his chest, most of it surely in a way that would make Ruka struggle for an argument. Opinions and facts often came out of Jack's mouth sounding so confidently the same that they left no room for anybody to question them.

A hesitant laugh from Jack's direction made Ruka look up at him with a small smile of his own, the sound easing some of his tension. Even if it wasn't as big and bright as he would have liked it to be, the sound of people's laughter had always filled the Gryffindor with warmth, and Jack's was no exception. In fact, Ruka doubted there was a sound he liked more.

It didn't last very long, however, before the calm broke, the sound of the Slytherin's voice filling the restless silence just the way Ruka had expected it to, sharp and sure, with purposeful words possibly meant to reassure him that he wasn't going to leave and abandon the Gryffindor the same way he felt the rest of his already scarce family had in his opinion. It didn't, however. It just made Ruka tap a small pattern of threes against the table top, face pulled into a grimace of uncertainty.

That’s what trust is… believing in something even though it could be taken away.

Trust felt a whole lot like self-sabotage, no matter what Flash had been saying. Trust was to relinquish all control and surrender to the fact that there was nothing you could do about the outcome of a situation, and Ruka had absolutely no idea how to give up control over anything in his life, much less something this important.

He said nothing for now anyway, deciding to listen instead, give Jack a chance to get things off his mind without anybody interrupting his constant stream of pointed words. All of them seemed to be said with the intention of defending Flash's behaviour, explain it maybe, show Ruka how wrong his opinion was, but they felt unstable, without any real foundation aside from a ridiculous amount of optimism.

"You're being naive," he pointed out, rolling his eyes when Jack pointed out that there may be people - people like him and Flash - who were sticking around him out of admiration. While Ruka had no idea what exactly there was to admire in Jack's opinion, he believed that his Slytherin counterpart was speaking honestly for himself, but to state something like that on Flash's behalf just seemed like some sort of projection. "Don't be naive, it doesn't suit you." Avoiding eye contact for a moment, Ruka turned to look to his side, letting his eyes drift across the fountain, settling on a statue close-by until he felt like he was able to refocus his attention on Jack and the conversation itself.

"He keeps coming back because he doesn't understand," he pointed out calmly, much calmer than he thought he would be strictly able to. "He doesn't get why his act - any of his acts - isn't working on me. I know because I called him out on it. If he cares about anything relating to me then it's about trying to figure out what approach to use on me. Fool-proofing his system. I'm a guinea pig." He shook his head as a bitter laugh escaped him, arms moving to cross over his chest as he resigned himself to listening once more.

The fact that he had ended up hurting Jack with his thoughtless actions stung, admittedly more than he would have liked it to, but Ruka knew better than to apologise in that moment; It didn't seem like Jack really wanted to draw too much attention to the fact that he'd been caught in the crossfire of his and Flash's spat. His words suggested more care for Flash's feelings than his own. It made Ruka sick to the stomach.

"Oh come off it," he said, frustration seeping from his voice as he fixed Jack with a pointed glare, arms still crossed over his chest as he leaned forwards ever so slightly, only minimally gapping the physical distance between them. "First of all, you said you don't know him all that well yourself, so where do you get the right to be talking for him like this? Are you sure that's what he's thinking and feeling or is it just what you'd like the truth to be? Because you're making some big assumptions there and judging situations you haven't been a part of. Flash has been fixing up my clothes from the start because what he cares about is things looking put together. He's been doing it since I first met him, not out of any kind of worry but because it bothers him when things are out of place." He breathed in deeply through his nose as he took a short break from speaking, brows knitted together in a frown. "You didn't see the way he looked at me back then, like I was nothing. More of a concept than a person, a means to an end. I didn't try to frustrate him by relying on his care or worry for me, I did it knowing that he doesn't like when people look a mess in general. I could send any random person with a screwed tie his way, I'd bet you my life he'd fix that one up too."

His words were cut short when Jack continued talking, speaking of selfishness and pride, and how Ruka was claiming for them to be justice instead, how he was putting people down to come out on top of them. It was a low blow, something that felt like being kicked over and over again, made him blink away tears with a heavy swallow. He hadn't was the thing. He hadn't wanted to feed his own ego by coming to the race, at least not that he realised. Hadn't he abandoned his own preference of staying away from the race to be able to keep an eye on Flash and make sure he wasn't going to do anything harmful? Hadn't he been prepared to do whatever, even at the cost of his own well being, to be a protective force in any scenario?

Before Ruka could say anything, however, Jack apologised, expressing his gratitude and moving on to explain how he didn't understand why the Gryffindor had come to the conclusions he had, why he hadn't just talked about his concerns.

Looking down at his own lap for a moment, Ruka uncrossed his arms, letting them slump at his sides in defeat. "You didn't see that freaky smile on his face when he told me to come watch you guys together at the race," he said quietly, shaking his head to himself. Stupid. When had he become so thoroughly brainless? "Alright? In hindsight I realise it made no sense, I just got... terrified. I didn't want..." He broke off for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts to be able to form coherent sentences from them. "I was scared you might not take it as a serious threat if I told you, which I realise now it wasn't anyway, but... I thought... I thought you might trust him more than you trust me and... And because of that wouldn't look after yourself. So I wanted to be there. So that I could look after you." Placing his face in his hands for a moment, Ruka chuckled humourlessly, his whole body trembling slightly with exhaustion.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, dropping his hands back on the table and fixing his blurry gaze back on Jack's face. "The last thing I wanted was to hurt you. With anything I did. Guess caring about someone does make you stupid." He let out a forlorn laugh, rubbing the back of his neck somewhat awkwardly. "Not like we didn't know that already." He shrugged lightly, leaning against the back rest of his chair tiredly. "I didn't think things through like I should have but I... I didn't mean to cause any harm, you believe that, right? That wasn't what I wanted. I just wanted you to be safe, that's all. No matter the cost." Pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, Ruka took a moment to compose himself, breathing deeply in and out before dedicating himself to the conversation again.

The tea bags were the last things he felt like concerning himself with for the moment.

"Even if we did need to talk," he said slowly, shaking his head even as he was saying the words. "That doesn't give you the right to decide when we should be talking to each other. Or under which circumstances. The entire time I was there I was trying to show you how uncomfortable I was. That I wanted to get away. The fact that you disregarded that hurt me." Noticing that his voice had grown a little shaky, Ruka swallowed heavily, averting his gaze for a short moment. "That's all that stupid race was. Hurt feelings all around." He nibbled on his bottom lip for a moment, moving his left hand to loosely pick at a scab on the knuckles of his right. "Didn't really feel like you wanted me to stay," he pointed out quietly, shoulders slumping like he was getting too tired to keep a straight back. "Just kind of felt like you didn't care whether I wanted to be there or not. I'd told you I never asked to fix anything, that I didn't want to try and resolve any issues but you decided that we should anyway. And since I wasn't the one seeking him out to make any kinds of connection it felt like you were doing it for his sake rather than anything else. That hurt too."

Shrugging like it didn't really matter anymore anyway, Ruka reached for an empty tea cup and set it upside down on the table, tracing the edges of the bottom with a fingertip. Life was messed up.

With his attention on the rough feel of china under his fingertips, it took a moment for him to really absorb Jack's following words, his brain seemingly extra slow at processing them. It wasn't anything he'd ever considered; What reason did Jack have to be worried about not being good enough? About Ruka deciding he hated his family? Couldn't he feel just how much he cared for him, how much he adored him with every fibre of his being? Didn't he realise that his family had done more for Ruka in the span of a few months than anybody ever had throughout his life?

"That's dumb," he said quietly, voice more childlike than he had let it allowed to be in a while. "That's... How could I possibly hate you? Either of you? That's not..." He took a deep breath, locking his gaze with Jack's in vague confusion. "Even if you turned out to be a bad brother, I wouldn't be able to tell anyway because I've never had one either, so put that thought back into the rubbish bin it came from." He pulled a half-heartedly teasing face at the other boy, exhaustion lessening its humorous effect.

Watching Jack trace the rim of his own tea cup, Ruka found himself absentmindedly reaching out as if to touch the Slytherin's hand, but he stopped himself before making contact, dropping his hand in the middle of the table, leaving it to lie there uselessly. The urge to scratch away the millions of tiny bugs under his skin wasn't quite as prominent anymore as he kept listening to Jack's worries. It made him want to get up and hug the other boy, tell him exactly how worthy he was, how he didn't need to worry about anything he had just listed off, how Ruka was willing to steal the stars out of the sky if Jack only so much as thought of them, but he couldn't get himself to.

The thought of that much physical contact made him nauseous.

"I went to talk to him," he said instead when Jack expressed his worries about Ruka's stubbornness concerning Flash. "A few days ago. I asked him to meet me so we could talk. I thought..." He laughed lightly at himself, rubbing a hand across his face. "I thought that maybe I could... I could get to know him better, that he'd turn out to be an idiot and realise I had nothing to worry about. Turns out he isn't. Shouldn't have come as a surprise considering you wouldn't be keeping him around if he was." A sad little smile spread across his face, leaving his eyes empty. "I figured... I figured if you wanted us to talk you had your reasons, so I reached out to him. And we talked. You two might have a lot in common and he's not an idiot, but he's got nothing on you anyway." He chuckled, more light-hearted this time. "Still can't say I trust him very much but I'm willing to give him a chance, alright?"

Maybe it wasn't much, but hopefully enough to prove to Jack that he was willing to set aside his own pride and stubbornness for the Slytherin's sake. That he trusted his judgment enough to consider being wrong. That he wasn't going to ever set his mind on disliking Jack for whatever reason without giving him a chance.

Allowing the eye contact Jack seemed to be looking for, Ruka managed to let the corners of his lips tug into a little smile, eyes lighting up with fondness rather than tears for a moment. As much as he still refused to accept Flash caring about him, he had decided to give up trying to argue about it. Maybe he was wrong, maybe he was right. Neither Ruka nor Jack were really qualified to say for sure, so he was going to let time tell.

Swatting at the paper plane Jack tossed at him, Ruka let out an indignant squeak when it hit the side of his nose, making him lift a hand to exaggeratedly dab at the point of impact like he had been severely wounded. Poking his tongue out at Jack, Ruka reached for the paper plane and aimed it right back at the other boy's face. "For all I know you might have if he didn't have some fancy mansion to go back to," he pointed out teasingly, rolling his eyes in mock annoyance. "Like you're collecting a bunch of strays. Is there an application form to fill out for people who want to live in your homeless shelter?" He pulled an exaggerated grimace, words coming out sillier than he had meant to, like they were amplified by the way the tension was starting to melt away.

For a second his expression turned a little more serious as he thought about Jack convincing his parents to take in even more people for whatever reason, the thought making him shiver slightly. "Guess I just don't like the thought of being second best," he admitted in response to Jack asking how he could think that he cared more about Flash than him. A small blush crept into his cheeks, heating his face enough for him to have to turn away for a moment. "Suppose I like sharing even less." No, it was bad enough that he needed to share Jack's attention with so many people at Hogwarts already, he definitely didn't need to deal with that during the summer as well.

If there were indeed some kind of application forms, he was going to make sure to burn them at his earliest convenience.

Laughing at Jack's words about him sounding like a people pleaser, Ruka turned his own tea cup back around again, right way up, and let a grin settle on his face. "It was rhetorical," he pointed out with a vague wave of his hand. "I don't really care if it's what you wanted to hear." A glint sparked his eyes as he reached out to touch one of the tea pots. They still felt quite hot to the touch despite having been standing out on the table for what felt like ages by now. Was it simply the material of the pot retaining all that heat, or was there some sort of spell on it to make sure its contents couldn't go out of temperature?

There was a chance that the water inside was already lukewarm anyway, but they would just have to find out.

"Let's get to the actual Tea Party, shall we?" he requested, picking up the Squid shaped tea bag and holding it under his nose to take a sniff, trying to figure out the blend inside it. "What's inside those, then? And what's with the shapes, did you mean to give me some traumatic flashbacks to almost drowning, or...?"

"You're being naive," Ruka warned.

Jack expelled an incredulous snort.

"Don't be naive; it doesn't suit you."

"I'm being the naive one? Me?!" the first year scoffed, noticing the other's gaze avert from him. "How, exactly? Do tell. I'm really curious."

When the Irish boy continued, explaining with the utmost certainty why he believed Flash kept coming back as if it were fact, Jack watched and listened, wondering what made the older student so sure of himself in the first place. From what Jack knew, not even Flash was all that certain of himself and why he did things, so how could Ruka presume to be? Ruka stated he knew because he called Flash out on it, but Jack still had his doubts.

"Tân, if I've picked up on this, then I know you must have too, but might I remind you that Flash has, on more than one occasion, given us reason to believe he probably knows less about himself - like why he does things and how he works - than he does about other people he spends so much time observing?" He shook his head.

"You know how he is. If you tried to call him out and he isn't sure about why he's doing something himself, he's more likely to think, 'oh, that must be right and I must be in the wrong' and just accept it as fact rather than question you or try to defend himself. Especially if he thinks more highly of you than he does himself. And who doesn't he think of more highly than himself?"

With an empty chuckle, he smiled feebly at Ruka from across the table, resting his chin on the tabletop. "Until you have proof, please don't tell me that I'm the naive one. Because from where I'm sitting, it just looks like you're only convincing yourself of what you want to be convinced of simply because not he's doing nor saying anything to contradict it." The Welsh boy shrugged, his smile broadening into a grin.

"My theory is that he just allowed you to condemn him because he believed he deserved it whether or not he believes you're right. But, even if he does, that doesn't make it true. You know that." He rolled his eyes. "I highly doubt he'd even have the gall to try to use you for anything after you tore into him like it sounded you did on your first meeting..."

When Ruka told him to 'come off it', pointing out that Jack said he didn't know him all that well himself, thick brows rose.

"Speaking for him? You're the one who's speaking for him, not me," the redheaded Slytherin answered with another timid smile, holding his palms up to show he meant no harm. "You've been stating what you think you know of him as fact. I'm just saying what could be the truth; that there's a possibility it's not what you seem to so confidently make it out to be. It's always important to keep an open mind, as tricksters might say. According to Tengu-do, 'all things are changeable', and the Tengu are very wise, capable beings."

Despite his words, Jack was getting the sense that wasn't really what was bothering Ruka. He wasn't about to point this out, though; not if Ruka was going to be stubborn about admitting it himself. He already seemed to realize the error he'd made that had hurt Jack and potentially Flash the most, so that was enough for the Welsh boy. They hadn't come there to pick each other apart until there was nothing left. Not on that particular afternoon, anyway; there would be plenty of time for that over the summer...when Ruka was stuck in the same house and couldn't go too far if he got angry enough to want to stay away from Jack.

"Tân...believe you me," he added, "He's cared about things being put together since I met him, too. I know it bothers him. But I didn't get the sense it's such a strong compulsion for him that he would repeatedly subject himself to your ridicule and abuse solely for something as minor as that. Same goes for when you looked like a mess at the race." His smile faded. "I could be wrong; maybe just projecting my own feelings onto him, but...he seemed more hurt than bothered to me."

The first year gave the second year a sympathetic sigh. "Yes, yes, I know I wasn't there to see the way he looked at you. But that was then. Don't you think it's possible he might have changed? He's already done that a lot over the course of a few months from what I've noticed." He dipped his head in acknowledgement. "As have you. And even if you didn't like the way he smiled before, you should know better than most that smiles can be used for a lot of things; as likely to suggest a threat as to hide one's own pain. Isn't it possible you misunderstood it?"

Ruka's comment about sending any random person with a screwed tie Flash's way forced Jack into more involuntary laughter, but the kind saturated with genuine amusement.

"Well of course!" he laughed. "But that's all just superficial stuff. It's like the impulsive itch to fix a crooked picture on a wall. Contrary to what you seem to believe, though, I doubt it has anything to do with what he thinks of you as a person because I doubt he sees you as an object like he might a tie or a portrait. C'mon," he said, gesturing for Ruka to hit him with more proof or examples. "Lay it on me. What has he done to try to fix or change you?"

A twinkle shone in his eye. "Because if I remember right, you said something about him telling you he would 'learn to love your scars', which sounds like the opposite of trying to fix or change someone to me."

There was a turning point in the conversation when the older boy gradually admitted that his behavior made little sense. That it might have been the result of terror along with other emotions. Jack's eyes widened then, straightening in his seat and brows slowly rising as something dawned on him just before it was spoken aloud. Ruka had been going through what he had.

Ruka had acted as irrationally as Jack had with Persephone at the tea party or with Opeila in the courtyard or with Selim in the Hospital Wing. It was emotions that had caused them to get so worked up and lose their sense of reason. Their emotions were what had screwed up their logic and made a mess of their communication, crippling them with insecurity regarding what they thought of each other.

"No," Jack said eventually. "No need to be sorry. I should have realized I wasn't the only one who could be susceptible to such strong feelings that it messed with one's judgement." He smirked with mild dismay. "I just keep thinking you're older and have been through so much more than me and that must make you so much stronger, so it didn't occur to me that there was any way you could fall prey to that sort of thing. But now I'm starting to think only a robot would be immune."

He looked down at the cup of water in front of him again. "And we're alike enough that I should have known what could affect me would also be able to affect you regardless of how tough you are. Maybe in a different way or to a different degree, but still."

It was then that Ruka began to chastise Jack about not having the right to decide when he and Flash should talk to each other.

"Oh, right. 'Cause you two had been doing such a good job working things out on your own before then," he retorted, words comprised predominately of sarcasm. "I disregarded your discomfort because you disregarded mine by coming to the race when you so clearly didn't want to be there while wearing what you did without a word of explanation to me. I intervened as I thought I needed to because no one seemed willing to fill me in despite me obviously being involved, so I can't truthfully say I'm sorry for that. Especially because I doubt you two would have resolved things otherwise. Or do you disagree that you would have simply continued to ignore him if I hadn't intervened?"

He made a face and wagged his index finger at Ruka. "You said you try to do everything you can for me even when you know I never asked you to and I probably would have preferred that you didn't. In the spirit of that, disregarding the fact that I got dragged into this and I make both of you my business anyway, why would I wait for you to ask me to fix something or make sure you want to resolve any issues before taking action myself? You basically just admitted you would have tried to do the same thing in my shoes if you thought it was best for me, right?"

Jack leaned back in his chair, running a hand through his highlighted hair. "I figured if you didn't want to be there and you weren't 'seeking him out', you wouldn't have come, so maybe think about the mixed messages you send with your actions as well as your words. Disregarding anything else I might not have been privy to behind the scenes between you and him, you were the one who announced your childish warfare by showing up in that outfit, hurting both of us without thinking. By my reckoning, that inconsiderate action on its own forfeited any right you may have had to complain about others' inconsideration of how you felt."

He withdrew his scolding finger. "Next time you decide can't take being annoyed or hurt, don't try to dish it out. Fair?"

Ruka's declaration of what was 'dumb' caused the taller boy to sigh yet again and plant both elbows on the table so he could hold his head in his hands.

"That's the same thing I wonder when you say you worry about me hating you. Or not wanting you around. Or wanting to stop talking to you or ignore you or whatever. I can't understand it any more than you can understand my own worries, so I guess there's little use trying to ponder their validity.

"Like we determined. Feelings are stupid. No rationale or reason necessary to warrant them. They just...happen." He put his hands back down. "I'll put away my 'rubbish thoughts' if you put away yours. Deal?"

Hazel eyes followed Ruka's absent reach toward his hand as well as its pause and drop. His gaze flickered up to the Gryffindor's face, wondering if he could find some sort of justification for the behavior there, but he found none that he could recognize. Soon after, however, the fire dancer started talking again, so Jack listened attentively to every word and watched every movement.

At least until the squeak the lion made upon contact with his paper plane, driving Jack into sudden, mad fits of laughter. The exaggerated response and stuck-out tongue didn't help, soon forcing the Welsh boy to gasp for air as he banged on the table in a voiceless plea for Ruka to let up. A little after he swat aside the returned paper plane, he finally managed to begin collecting enough oxygen to resume his regular breathing schedule, forcing down the remaining giggles that bubbled up in the pit of his stomach.

"It's...it's not a homeless shelter," he protested while beaming, wiping the tears that had accumulated at the corners of his eyes. "I did consider starting our own club, admittedly...but I'd have to consult my partner in crime, first." Jack sneered at Ruka.

His voiced thoughts on being second best caused the Slytherin to sober up a tad. "I get that," he assured him. "But you're not second best, nor will you ever be. So don't get all insecure on me now."

Then he pursed his lips. "As for sharing, how do you think I feel? I'm getting an older brother at age twelve. As a former only child, I'm used to having everything I want to myself. So if I'm being forced to learn how to share this late in the game, you better believe you will, too." He shrugged matter-of-factly, though with enough exaggeration it was obvious he was teasing. "I've been told that's a thing brothers have to do."

If Jack noticed Ruka's blush, it was likely he didn't consider its cause to be strange enough to ask about, because he neglected to comment on it. He simply presumed it was due to Ruka's embarrassment of not being familiar with the concept of sharing itself rather than what exactly it was the older boy had in mind that he didn't want to share.

"Your face is rhetorical," the Slytherin shot back nonsensically, finding himself suddenly a little embarrassed as well at not having realized what Ruka had to point out to him.

"Yes, hurry up with the tea, already! Otherwise it'll be supper time soon and I'm not just having leaf juice and biscuits for a meal."

Putting away the paper plane, Jack stood up and lifted each fox bag to his nose so he could smell which contained what kind of tea leaves. Determining one to have the green tea that he had noticed Ruka had for breakfast sometimes, he placed that fox in one of the teacups closer to the fire-dancer. Then he opened the lid of the teapot closest to him, peering in.

"The squid was supposed to help you reconcile mentally and emotionally with the amicable creature you and that psycho pal of yours disturbed late one night last year while looking for sea creatures in a lake," the taller student told his companion, picking up the octopus counterpart.

"And the octopus is to commemorate the time I had to go swimming around in that freezing hell pool to hunt these smaller, slippery little cephalopod devils for an errand." He glanced at Ruka with a smile. "Thought they'd be good friends. Anyway, since you seemed to have used red tea leaves for mine and green tea leaves for yours, I used oolong tea leaves for the...octopus, I think...and black tea leaves for the Black Lake Giant Squid."

Jack held up the animals by their tea bag strings to dangle in front of Ruka's face. "Sooo...do we put these in the pots themselves, or the individual teacups?"

@Ruka Tân

@Jack Burnett

"You're naive to be so optimistic about his intentions," Ruka said easily, tilting his head to the side as he mustered Jack with something like vague disappointment, quickly to be replaced with exhaustion. "Or maybe he's just given you more reason to be than he's given me, I suppose. You must know him better than I do, after all." The underlying tones of jealousy were accentuated with a small roll of his eyes and a sigh. Being dorm mates, Ruka assumed Jack had had multiple more run-ins with Flash than he had had himself and couldn't help wondering about the nature of each of them.

He resigned himself to listening to Jack's words and theory for a moment, expression turning almost bored as he blinked a few times. "Proof?" he asked, sounding unimpressed. He shook his head to himself and leaned back, crossing his arms across his chest. "It sounds like you've decided to see the best in him the same way I've come to see the worst and nothing we say is going to sway the other so only time can tell who's right. Chances are it's neither of us." He knew as much, he wasn't completely close minded. Things weren't ever so black and white, people never just good and evil; Some just liked each other and some didn't.

From where Ruka was standing, he and Flash had found themselves in a position in which one of them had more interested in any form of a relationship than the other, and wasn't that just one of the most awkward positions to be in? There was no middle ground between them, no healthy mix, it was always either too little or too much, too shallow or too intense.

At least Origami had balanced things out a little bit, but it wasn't like Ruka was able to bring stacks of paper anywhere he went on the off-chance that he might run into Flash somewhere.

Wanting to continue with his own arguments, no matter how repetitive, Ruka opened his mouth to speak before backtracking and pulling his brows together in confusion. "What the hell are Tengu?" he found himself asking rather than keep defending his view point of Flash. They were only going in circles anyway and he wasn't going to pass up the chance to at least learn something new from this conversation, even if it didn't have much to do with the original content of it. He tried to search his brain for the term, wondering what book he would have most likely read it in, but it didn't sound very familiar at all, so clearly it was a piece of knowledge Jack must have brought to the table himself, rather than something to be learned during Transfiguration or Potions.

Maybe he would have heard about it in Muggle School if he had ever gone.

Shaking his head of the thought, Ruka pulled his bottom lip between his teeth to nibble on it as he considered Jack's words about Flash's smile hiding some sort of pain. That made no sense from where Ruka was standing; There had been nothing to be hurt about. "I didn't even say anything painful," he pointed out as he shed some of that stubbornness to try and consider what Jack was seeing that he himself didn't. "I only told him that I don't get why he cares what I think about him. That I didn't think I've ever been nice enough to him to warrant him taking my opinion into consideration. If anything I've said more bad things about myself than about him, and he decided to go Psycho Face on me in response." It had been annoying, really. His first real attempt of understanding what was going through Flash's mind, and the Slytherin had responded by shutting off completely, like he had barely heard a word of what Ruka had been trying to say.

More tension rolled off the Gryffindor's shoulders at the sound of Jack's laughter, a more genuine sound this time that made it easier for Ruka to not feel like he was being attacked for his believes and opinions, to ease into what was a civil discussion and not some kind of war between them. Things couldn't be that bad if Jack was still able to laugh like that.

Only when the other boy recited Flash's words about loving Ruka's scars, did some tension return, face screwing up in a grimace at the memory. It hadn't really been the words that had been such a big deal, even if the careless use of the word love hadn't exactly helped, but the unwanted physical closeness, the intimacy of lingering touches, the intensity of painful emotions coursing between them. The memory made him shudder and recoil like Jack had attempted to strike him.

"The fact that he's so concerned with fixing shallow stuff is exactly what I don't like," he pointed out, running a hand through his hair. "He didn't know anything about me - and don't tell me about his great observational skills again, that's not the same as getting to know someone and you know that - but still tried to fix anything he could about my appearance. That's exactly the kind of shallow care I'm not interested in."

With a little sigh, Ruka hung his head, only looking up again when Jack told him that there was no need to apologise, which was... unexpected. As far as he could tell there were countless things to apologise for, even if Jack was able to see where he'd been coming from. At least it meant there was some understanding between them on that front which was really more than Ruka could have asked for. All he'd wanted with this meeting was to sort things out to avoid building resentment, and it seemed like they were making some kind of progress at least.

It made moving on with the conversation easier.

"You could have said something too," he pointed out quietly, closing his eyes for a moment as he thought back on the race, trying to pin point the exact moment things had gone so drastically downhill. "Maybe I should have realised that it'd affect you too and I'm sorry I didn't, but you could have said something. Because I did. I said that I wanted to leave but you didn't seem to care. I would have cared if you'd told me my behaviour was hurting you." He sighed heavily before leaning forward and resting his forehead against the cool material of the table for a moment, letting Jack's words sink into him reluctantly. A lot of it made sense, as it usually did, but that didn't mean Ruka necessarily agreed with all of it. Since his own disregard of Jack's feelings had been involuntary, he thought it was infinitely worse that the other boy had purposely disregarded Ruka's feelings in return.

"So maybe I would have kept ignoring him, but what if that's how I wanted it to be?That's exactly what I mean by you trying to force me into his life. Because you think it's what's best for me? Even if I would do something like it if I thought it was best for you, I recall an agreement in which you said you wouldn't try to decide what's best for me anymore if I proved I could take care of myself throughout April." He let a small smile creep onto his face, eyebrows raised challengingly. "And yet you were trying to push us together and make us sort things out, so maybe you should stop offering deals you can't stick to." He hummed in thought for a second before shaking his head at himself. "I don't think I'll ever be able to stop trying to do what I think is best for you and I don't... I don't expect you to stop thinking you know what's best for me either, I just..." He broke himself off for a moment, a pleading look in his eyes as he locked them with Jack's. "I just want to feel like you listen to me. I was... I couldn't breathe back there," he pointed out, stumbling over his words as he tried to get them out.

"Even if it was my own fault it went the way it did, I couldn't breathe and you wouldn't even look at us, like you were above it all. Do you have any idea what that felt like? I would have rather drowned a million times than stay there, I would have rather run into a dozen knives than for him to touch me, and you wouldn't even look at us." He swallowed heavily, blinking back some more tears threatening to fall. "I don't think I've ever felt that abandoned and alone in my whole life."

Letting out a little chuckle, Ruka shrugged lightly. "I'll try to... not dish out what I can't take, I suppose, though I can't promise I'll always realise I'm doing it before it's too late... As long as I can count on you to listen to me when I can feel things spiralling out of control." He let out a hollow laugh, shrugging his shoulders. "Even if you respond to it by hitting me over the head or throwing stuff at me. Anything, really, just not what you were doing at the race. That didn't feel like you were trying to be a mediator, it felt like you were trying to play God." Tension melted away gradually as fondness seeped into his eyes. "And you know I think you're great, but maybe that's taking it a bit far."

Nodding along with Jack's words about feelings being stupid, Ruka let out a heavy sigh, smiling in defeat. There was nothing to argue about when looking at both their insecurities that way; They didn't make sense to anybody but themselves. "Deal," he agreed, though he realised that it wasn't quite that simple to turn those worries off. Both of them probably had a long way to go before they could be confident about being good enough for one another, and that was alright. They had time to learn.

While Ruka's skin still itched slightly with the simultaneous fear of and longing for physical contact, at least Jack didn't point out his abandoned attempt at reaching out for him, which was just as well. He wouldn't have known how to explain it anyway. Instead the other boy listened wordlessly until he broke into uncontrolled laughter at Ruka's exaggerated antics, making the Gryffindor beam fondly at him. The scattered laughter throughout their conversation had been good, but none of it had made Ruka fill with as much warmth as Jack's genuine outburst of amusement, the way he banged his fist against the table, corners of his eyes tearing up, laughter going quiet with lack of oxygen. If Ruka had been able to make Jack laugh like that all the time he would never be doing anything else.

"Uh-huh," he responded teasingly when Jack insisted he wasn't running a homeless shelter, a bright smile lighting up his own features. The other boy's amusement was contagious and Ruka felt lighter than he had in weeks in this moment. Pulling a mock-disgusted face, he fixed Jack with a doubtful look. "I hate clubs," he pointed out with a feigned shudder. "Mass gatherings of stupidity." Also known as people. Still, coming from Jack, the words got Ruka's attention.

"What kind of club did you have in mind? Collection of the Emotionally Scarred? Will we get badges and bumper stickers to put on random cars?" He wiggled his fingers in over-exaggerated excitement, laughter bubbling from his chest as he imagined whatever kind of club it was that Jack could possibly come up with.

Their laughter died down just a little at Ruka's admission of his own insecurity, but there was no returning tension, only a light-hearted calm settling around them. The reassurance that Ruka wasn't second best felt better than acing all his final exams, or getting new clothes, or being offered a home for the summer. "I'll try," he said seriously when Jack asked him not to get insecure on him. A difficult quest, considering the many trust issues Ruka was still trying to sort out, but he was willing to attempt to reason his insecurities away for now.

Jack's words about sharing elicited a little laugh from Ruka's chest, even if the Slytherin didn't quite seem to grasp what it was he had issues sharing. There was no doubt in Ruka's mind that he'd be perfectly fine with brotherly sharing anything and everything with Jack; Since he had never really possessed anything in the first place it'd probably feel strange to be keeping new possessions to himself anyway. "Right," he said, averting his gaze to stare at the table top in embarrassment for a second. How could someone be so smart and so clueless at the same time? "Guess I'll have to learn, then." He chuckled, looking back up again when the heat had finally left his cheeks, an amused chuckle escaping him at Jack's senseless comeback.

The slight embarrassment on the other boy's face was endearing enough for Ruka to feel his chest contracting with fondness, a spark of adoration illuminating his eyes.

He didn't say anything to call Jack out on his words, certain that anything he could have said would have missed the sting of a tease anyway.

"Leaf juice," was the thing he decided to repeat instead, lifting a hand to cover the laughter tumbling from his lips. There was really nothing else to say about that, but the amusement was clear to see in Ruka's face as he held up the Squid and Octopus tea bags, ready to put them in the second Jack was good to go as well.

His amusement did not waver as the Slytherin went on to explain the meaning behind his tea bag shapes, causing Ruka to sigh, though the sound was still shaky with faint laughter. "This is why I so rarely do errands," he pointed out at Jack's mention of having gone into a freezing pool for one of them. "Child labour, the lot of it. Free theatre for the people overseeing them. What the hell would they make you hunt octopi for? Seafood dinner?" Snorting at that thought, Ruka opened the lids of the remaining three tea pots one by one, humming thoughtfully as he pondered Jack's question on how to go about this.

"Pots, I'd think," he concluded eventually, reaching out to take one of the fox tea bags from the other boy's hand. "Might turn out too strong if we put them into the individual cups. Also, if those things start moving like they should it might be really inconvenient to drink from the cups without disturbing them." He chuckled and held the fox tea bag under his nose for a moment, satisfied when he could smell that it was the one he had meant to take.

"I mixed this one with some spices," he explained as he moved one of the tea pots a bit closer to him to slowly lower the tea bag into it. "Cinnamon and that kind of stuff. Thought it might make it taste less like tea and therefore be more enjoyable for you. Or maybe it'll taste horrible, but either way, I made it specifically for you." He chuckled lightly as he tied the string of the tea bag around the handle of the pot to make sure it wasn't going to slip into the water, eyes wide in anticipation as he submerged the bag, watching as the water immediately started to changed into a dark colour, almost black with some hints of red and brown in the shimmering surface.

For a second, Ruka thought the enchantment on the bag didn't work, felt himself thinking that at least it didn't fall apart like he had expected it to, but then the silky material seemed to expand in the water, the little fox transforming into something almost life-like, starting to paddle its way in circles through the water.

Ruka found himself clapping in childlike delight, a sense of pride washing over him. That was his creation, swimming around the pot, stirring the water as its new colour intensified.

"You put one in next," he told Jack excitedly, folding his hands together as if to keep himself from reaching out and simply taking all the bags from the other boy to put them into their respective pots. "I wanna try the Squid one. Oolong tea sounds fancy, I need to start with something simpler."