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Totally Studying

Amaya sighed, grabbing her quill, and taking a piece of fresh, crispy parchment. Propping it up, she paused, looking at it carefully, before examining the people around her. She began to watch their behavior and how they interacted among different people, listing off small facts about their personality, as well as repeating traits, listening discreetly to their interactions. She didn’t actually know all of their names, but she did manage to gleam off some of them and for others, merely named them with their physical traits, things that differentiated from the rest, and stuck out at her. Things that she could remember.

But it was tiring, and she wanted to read, wanted to write, wanted to do her own things! But no, she was stuck behind the rules of her parents. But she knew she wanted to listen to herself, to read for herself, to write for herself. To consume knowledge, to advance beyond her peers. But she knew what her parents would say to that, to reading novels instead of fact, hard fact that would become the structure of her life as she began to grow up. To them, she was merely a child.

A child to be looked down upon.

She gripped the quill harder then she meant to, so caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t notice the person behind her. When she finally snapped out of her thoughts and heard the footsteps, she scrambled to hide her notes and instead, replaced it with a book on Potions Theory.
Last edited by Amaya Bourne on 14th July 2018, 3:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Amaya Elizabeth Bourne

Totally Studying

Daphne had her large stack of muggle novels in her hands but had nowhere to go. Most of the seats were taken, so she had to sit with someone. Despite being a Hufflepuff, she was very anti-social, and would rather be reading her romance novels. Studying was a usual thing for Daphne Black, you could find her, on a good day, reading indoors in front of a window, or with her headphones on. She remembered the public library she used to go to. It was small, but no one would go there so she was alone. She found herself longing for home now. Chiding herself under her breath, she switched the weight of her books around in her hands. "Don't judge a person by their house" Her Great-Grandfather had told her before leaving for school. She decided not to. Looking around, Daphne decided to sit with someone who was alone, just to see if she could handle it. Being in a room full of friendly girls all the time was draining, and she needed to practice social interactions. She noticed a girl watching the others. She seemed to be a loner as well. Daphne came behind her and noticed how hard she was gripping her quill.
"Are you alright?" The girl didn't seem to hear her, so Daphne put her books down, and tapped her on the shoulder. "Are you all right?"

Even If You Loose Hope, There Will Be Someone Hoping For You
-Daphne Black

Totally Studying

Amaya turned around, seeing a Hufflepuff, with a stack of books next to her.

She plastered on a fake smile. “Yes, yes, I’m alright, thank you. Now please, if you would leave me alone, as I am... Studying. ”

Then Amaya turned back away, not eager to talk to anyone, no longer awknoledging her. Instead, she managed to actually become engrossed in her book, taking another piece of parchment, and beginning to take notes, ignoring everyone the best she could. She didn’t want friends. Friends were worthless. Friends were bothersome, friends would abandon you, friends wouldn’t truly understand you.

No, Amaya needed connections.

She tensed up once more. Did she really think this? Did she want to go down this path. Finally, Amaya whirled back around to see if the Hufflepuff was still there or had left, due to her rather rude statement, as Amaya has been quite rude. She hoped so, as she wouldn’t want to scare off absolutely everyone.

Maybe it would be nice to have a connection in a different house. Maybe she didn’t have to be mostly alone to meet up to her parents’ expectations.

At least, that was what she told herself.

But she’d made everything in her life about her parents, and she didn’t want to do this. She wanted something more. She wanted to be her own person. But could that happen? Would she ever be free?

It should have been easy.

But that just wasn’t Amaya.

Refocusing, she looked around to see if the Hufflepuff girl was still there.

Amaya Elizabeth Bourne

Totally Studying

Daphne knew that tone of voice. She had used it before and was quite certain that this was someone who needed to talk. She folded her arms and waited for the girl to notice she was still there. Daphne had always done this. She made everyone else's business her business. She knew she could help, and if she couldn't she stayed out of it. Now was one of those times she could help. She saw the girl in front of her read for real this time, now even taking notes. Daphne softened, and uncrossed her arms, studying the girl. For some reason, Daphne felt connected to her. Having divorced parents was kind of like having two different families. Her fathers made her feel heard all the time, they were kind and asked questions to her making sure that she was alright all the time, but they were overbearing and made her put up her shield to quickly around them. She hated it when they asked her questions she couldn't answer. The two were expecting of her when she came out as a witch. Her mother, on the other hand, was a jerk. She hated her daughter, and would rather die than tell her she loved her. Now Daphne found herself wondering which type of parent the girl had. The girl whirled around, probably to see if Daphne was still there. She was. Daphne waved a little, probably looking like a shy child.

Even If You Loose Hope, There Will Be Someone Hoping For You
-Daphne Black

Totally Studying

Josh just had it! It was a fight after another and just for once he needed some peace and quiet. Coincidentally, he was in front of the library. Perhaps some harmless studying wouldn't hurt. Josh stepped inside the library and, to his disappointment, saw no empty tables. Guess everyone's having the same idea. Oh boy. Josh rolled his eyes as he wandered table after table trying to find a good secluded spot to study. He spots a table with a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin. Both were girls and seemed very quiet. He observed further and noticed that the Hufflepuff wanted to make friends with that Slytherin. I'm too tired to think whether she's a Mudblood or not. I hope she won't cause me any trouble.

Josh sat down a few chairs away from the Hufflepuff girl. He pulled out his notebook and his other books and tried to block out everything around him so he can concentrate. However, all the fatigue from the previous fights wore him out to the point of him complaining.

"Ugh! Blimey, I can't even think!" Josh muttered pitifully as he slammed his head on the table.

Josh then scratched his head trying to keep it together, but it was all in vain. Poor Josh had no choice but slouch back in his chair as he stared blankly into the ceiling.

Totally Studying

Daphne heard an “Ugh! Blimey, I can’t even think!” And a small thud, her first reaction was ‘Great. More people.’ Then she reprimanded herself. ‘Don’t be mean. You have no idea what is going on with him.’ She felt her face turn from a frown to a forced smile. ‘Just keep up the facade.’ She turned to look at the boy. He hit his head on the table. She recignized him as a Slytherin, and immediately started to worry. Was he one of those wizards who hated muggle-born’s? She flipped over the top book in her stack, a novel about a girl who goes to a boarding school, and meets a nice boy who she falls in love with. She watched the boy for a couple more minutes as he tried to calm down. He failed, and ended up looking up at the ceiling. She felt dad for him, and thought for a moment. What could she do to make him feel better? She ended up putting one of her hands in her pockets to find a chocolate covered frog. She scooted down a couple of seats, and tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned to face her, she cautiously held the candy out to him. “I don’t need to know what your having trouble with, and I don’t want to pry. I’m not going to ask, but I want to help.” She tried to smile again, but this time it didn’t come out as genuine.

Even If You Loose Hope, There Will Be Someone Hoping For You
-Daphne Black

Totally Studying

Amaya waved back to Daphne, before she noticed how she was interacting with the wizard who’d appeared. He was also a Slytherin. Amaya resolved to wait back and watch how he interacted with the Hufflepuff. She wanted to glean off some more facts about him before approaching, as she always had.

Anyways, Amaya looked back at the Hufflepuff. “Erm, sorry about my behavior earlier... I’m Amaya.”

Anaya cursed to herself about her awkwardness, and tensed up, sighing deeply, before looking back up at the other girl to watch for any signs of emotion, reaction, or something along the lines.

Amaya only watched her for a moment, before her attention returned once more to the other Slytherin. She gave him a wary look, as she hadn’t quite interacted with any Slytherins, wondering if he would scold her for talking to a ‘Puff. Or be entirely vicious to the girl. Maybe he wouldn’t talk to her about the situation, not now, but later, as Slytherins valued House Unity, and she hoped that would cause him to be more discreet.

She kept her wand close by, just in case. She didn’t quite trust any of them, though she didn’t quite think a Hufflepuff would try to harm anyone. She wasn’t quite sure about the rest of them, though, and she couldn’t exactly rely on her new aqcuaitance for back up. At least, that’s what she thought.

After all, her race practically branded her different, and she hadn’t been a stranger to the soft teasing of the purebloods around her, and she didn’t know if the Slytherin was a pureblood, but she knew that the house mostly only consisted of those with “untainted” blood dating back generations.

So was it understandable that she trusted someone outside her house more then someone inside her house? Probably not. But she didn’t care. She watched him for one more moment, before her gaze flickered back to the Hufflepuff girl, and lingered there. She settled for watching the other stranger, the one in her house, with the corner of her eye.

Amaya Elizabeth Bourne

Totally Studying

As the girl, Amyah addressed Daphne, she felt her protective shield waver. Her smile went with it. The tiniest in and out that could only be caught by someone that was in Daphne's mind or someone who was studying her, but she was grateful to see no one but Amyah looking at her. She silently sighed. Her other hand still holding out her last chocolate frog to the boy, she smiled at Amyah again. Something about her made this smile genuine.
"Nice to meet you too. I am D-" She cut herself off, not wanting to tell her her name, but not wanting to sound rude either. She waited for a beat, again only someone who was studying the scene could have noticed. "Call me Daph." She finished. Something about the way she tensed up before made Daphne want to comfort her. "Just so you know, I don't judge you by your house... not that there's anything to judge!" She shook her head. "That came out wrong, sorry." She took a deep breath. This was a bad idea. She didn't judge anyone by there houses, why was she now trying to act 'more Hufflepuff-ish'? She felt her anxiety spiking, a light feeling in her chest that made her want to double over and cry. In for 4, hold for 7, out for 8. She repeated the steps for a little, and looked again at Amyah in front of her, and to the other mystery boy on the other side waiting for one of them to speak.

Even If You Loose Hope, There Will Be Someone Hoping For You
-Daphne Black

Totally Studying

Amaya paused, before smiling back at her. At least Amaya wasn't the only awkward one!

This probably meant that Daph had the same experience Amaya did- not a lot. Besides, Amaya decided that she was nice. Perhaps not nice, per say, as she didn't quite know the girl yet, but that she was... easy to trust. It came easier then she'd thought it would, trusting a Hufflepuff, but she needed to know more about her. And since Amaya didn't know the other Slytherin, she wasn't eager to open up to him.

But she needed to know if her parents would approve of this girl.

A small part of her still wanted her parents' love and approval, a part of her that she wished wasn't there, a part of her that was still a child and wished so desperately to be accepted. This shouldn't be.

Besides, Daph, with her hand outstretched to the other Slytherin, was probably quite eager to be open to everyone, if she even approached that grumpy guy.

Amaya bit her lip, wondering how she could word it. Wondering how she could word this awkward question that would no doubt push Daph away. It should have been easy.

Everything should have been easy.

Making connections, being the perfect pureblood daughter, or being able to push her parents away.

And now, pushing Daph away. But she wanted a friend. A small part of her that still wanted someone to accept her, even if she was a muggle-born. No, to Amaya, the term should be mudblood. But it wasn't. Not to her, not right now. Amaya decided that if Daph was a mugg- mudblood, she would still make a acception to her. Only her.

Deciding that she would just blurt it out, Amaya spoke up, "Sorry if this is a very weird question... But, are you a pureblood? Half-blood? Muggle-born?"

Amaya didn't want to use the term she so desperately needed to in front of Daph. Because what Amaya deemed the weak part of her wanted a friend. A friend who could understand her. But she didn't know if that question, so simple yet so complicated, would scare her off. So she waited for her reply.

Amaya Elizabeth Bourne

Totally Studying

Daphne tensed. She hated that question. Glancing around, she seemed to understand that somewhere in the room someone hated Muggle-borns. Of course, with her family, it was easier to deny it and to lie. Lieing was easy, and she was pretty good at it.
"I don't know." She finally decided. "I have gay fathers." One of which was a truth. She didn't want to scare anyone away and didn't want anyone to dislike her. One of the reasons she even came to the school was to make friends, a chance she had lost in London. She felt awful lying to the girl. This was... well technically Daphne didn't lie when saying her name. She had just asked her to call her something different. This was one lie to her. Within her first meeting. Daphne hated herself at that moment, not for lieing, but for the volume of the lie. When she would go home, she hated the thought that her fathers would think that she was ashamed of them, or used them as an excuse. Her grandfather would be disappointed. He would have stood up, and proclaimed to the world that he was muggle born. He would wear it like a badge on his chest. That was why he was Gryffindor, and she was Hufflepuff.

Even If You Loose Hope, There Will Be Someone Hoping For You
-Daphne Black

Totally Studying

Amaya narrowed her eyes at Daph for a moment, giving her a suspicious look, before sighing and letting it go. "Alright. I'm sorry for asking, and sorry if that made you uncomfortable in any way."

And then Amaya looked back down at her book on potions, and attempting to draw the conversation away from her question, she lit up. "Do you like Potions? I can't wait for when I finally get to have the class! It'll be soooooo fun!"

Then Amaya backed down again. "Do you like Potions?"

This, Amaya decided, will be the deciding factor on whether or not she wanted to try and get Daph to become her friend. "Oh, and reading fiction? Or writing?"

Amaya waited in anticipation, watching her carefully. She felt that she just needed to know. Because it would be nice to have someone to share some information with. She smiled to herself. Yes, yes, it would. Breathing in deeply, she had to reign in any excitement oozing out of her, and try to gain a more calm facade, one of seriousness and one that showed everyone that she was not, would never be, a little girl. She had to keep herself from seething in anger, at least, physically, before brightening up and waiting for Daph's reply.

Amaya Elizabeth Bourne

Totally Studying

Daphne felt herself relax as Amyah left the topic alone. Potions was a little exiting, but Daphne had been waiting for a while to learn to care for magical animals. At the mention of fiction, Daphne perked up. “Oh, and reading fiction? And writing?” Daphne felt the genuine smile returning. Placing the frog in front of the other slytherin boy, she pulled out a notebook from her bag. She opened it, and pushed it twords the other girl. The notebook was filled with ideas for romantic comedy scenes and fantasy stories. “I’ve been writing this stuff since I was really young.” On the next page was one of the ideas written out.
“He has two ways to do this, run away, or play along. Then again, he had stolen Daniel’s chocolate.” The scene went on to show that Daniel kissed the other boy and ran away with the chocolate. Daphne had loved writing that one a lot, reading it out loud to her brother. He had laughed, and said it was really good. Now, she waited too see what this girl would say. Not that Daphne would believe her if she said it was amazing, but it would boost her confidence a bit.

Even If You Loose Hope, There Will Be Someone Hoping For You
-Daphne Black

Totally Studying

Amaya grinned at her, feeling herself becoming more and more excited. “They’re really cool!”

Then Amaya drooped down once more, remembering what had happened with her scrolls. She faguely remembered her first story, torn apart by her parents, reprimending her for wasting her time on such things.

“It’s nice. Maybe we could write together some time? I also love Fantasy. Not sure about Romance, though... But I think it’ll be fun!”, Amaya softly smiled at her again.

But...

Truly, what would her parents have said to that? She slightly suspected Daph of being a muggle-born or halfblood, mostly muggle-born, but she said nothing. And her parents would be so angry at her, so angry at her for using her time on the notion of friends rather then studying.

But at this point, she thought that she could find it in her not to care. She was busy, and she was done.

So taking a deep breath, she shakily looked once again to Daph. “Would you... maybe consider being my friend?”

God she sounded so weak, so vulnerable. She mentally winced at her words, but kept her semi-serious look. She ignored the Slytherin, for once, not caring about it all, if only to escape her reality, or her heavy thoughts, for a moment. But she knew, deep down, that she would have to deal with it again once more, soon enough. But she smiled, and waited for Daph to react, to reply, with a strange anxiousness building up.

Amaya Elizabeth Bourne

Totally Studying

Josh had been under some a lot of stress. Thankfully, the Hufflepuff girl gave him a chocolate frog, but before Josh could react, she was already talking to that Slytherin girl. They looked as if they had a lot of fun. It was too bad he couldn't do anything up until now. At least now he was able to come back to his senses.

The girls were looking at some sort of notebook. Josh came to look from behind. The drawings were fantastic. Josh leaned in a little hoping to get a better look and at the same time, hoping to not seem too awkward. He decided to say something to break the ice.

Josh tapped on the Hufflepuff girl and said: "Hey, thanks for the chocolate frog. By the way, those drawings look amazing."

After a moment, Josh then asked. "What are your names?"

Josh never had such a feeling. Being nice was never in his nature especially how he grew up. He knew that it was only a matter of time until those two girls ended up like the rest of them. However, at least they were nice. Perhaps they could be one of his best friends. However, he must still be alert. He swore that he would never be friends with a Mudblood, but at the same time, hated being alone. It looks like he'll have to see how things play out.

Totally Studying

Amaya glanced over to him. She didn’t quite trust him, a omnimous feeling building up, but she nodded at him, colder then before.

“Amaya. You?”

She watched him carefully, monitoring his every move, before letting it go.

“I have a question for you, before we advance in a conversation. What is your view on blood status? You don’t have to answer it.”

Amaya felt a little proud of herself: she’d been more direct. But this was a test, a test that she trusted he’d see. She narrowed her eyes, wondering what he’d do. Then she realized how strange she was being, and tried not to be so sudden.

Instead, she glanced over to Daph, wondering how she’d react, and if she’d want to be her friend. Or maybe his friend. Perhaps she would; she didn’t suppose she’d ever know. And she didn’t even know if the guy was trustworthy. But maybe she was being too biased.

She should have known better.

So bowing her head slightly, she murmured a apology. “I’m sorry for assuming I couldn’t trust you.”

At least, assuming he’d understood her meaning. He probably did.

But then again, what did she know of the world? She decided that she’d probably been shielded for a good portion of her life, and she wouldn’t know if he’d answer her question and such.

Amaya Elizabeth Bourne
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