The House at the End of the Cul de Sac solo

It had been a month, A MONTH, since Elspeth had shot sparks from her nose. Which meant Elspeth had spent the better part of a month (again A WHOLE MONTH) fidgeting around her house unable to focus on anything because she was anxiously awaiting the arrival of her letter from Hogwarts. So her parents had been appreciating (read tolerating) her incessant pacing for (let's say it together) AN. ENTIRE. MONTH.

It seemed rather unfair that the folks at Hogwarts, who had magical abilities beyond the wildest dreams of all muggles, used owls for post necessitating long wait periods between messages. This last month had been particularly brutal as a large storm had battered the western coast of Wales and England, making it difficult for the poor things to make much headway without getting blown backwards. Her mom had heard reports from neighbors that their parcels had ended up as far east as Cambridge! This, naturally, only caused Elspeth to worry further that perhaps her letter had been on its way to her, but was now being opened by some other child who would take her place at school this fall. (Elspeth had yet to explain to anyone how this made much sense but she insisted it was a possibility).

After thirty days of waiting, and little else, her mind was incredibly bored and looking for something to do. She sat dejectedly at the breakfast table, swirling her eggs around with her fork absentmindedly. Alex, her dad, looked over at her, his eyes drooping with a twinge of heartbreak seeing his daughter feel so sad. "Hey kiddo, it'll be okay. I'm sure that owl is..." he stopped himself as he realized he was about to rhyme, "coming... here. It'll have your letter here in no time!" But Elspeth just nodded her head vaguely while continuing to swirl her breakfast around. Alex looked over at Rebecca, Elspeth's mom, and nodded his head toward Elspeth while very nonchalantly saying, "Maybe you and your mom could go out and do something today, huh?"

Rebecca had been reading some of her own mail, and so hadn't been paying especially close attention to the conversation. At the mention of her she looked up and blinked a few times, transitioning her brain from work mode to mom mode, "What was that? Oh! Yes. Yes, Elspy I though we could maybe take a ride up to Snowdonia and you could search for Porlocks. I heard from Mrs. Hughes up near Holyhead that some have been seen up a little further north than usual because of the heat this summer," but even this couldn't get Elspeth to look up. Why bother searching for Porlocks if you weren't going to be admitted to one of the greatest wizarding schools of all time, after all.

Alex looked on glumly at his daughter's lack of interest in something he knew she was passionate about and felt a small part of his heart break. As her muggle parent he couldn't help but feel like it was his fault that his daughter might not be going to the school his wife held so dear, that was so important to the wizarding community. It was his genes that must have cancelled out her potential for magic, and just by looking at her reaction it was so clear that she didn't want to be a muggle like him. She wanted to be a witch, and he was the thing that had held her back. Normally the jovial and goofy one, he could sense a frog catching in his throat and didn't want to add to her pain by making her watch him cry at the breakfast table. He scooted his chair back and mumbled something about needing to check his computer for work emails before relieving himself to his bedroom, where he proceeded to sit on the bed and cry.

Elspeth was left sitting at the table with her mother, the former had put down her fork in favor of staring aimlessly out the window beside her, the latter having latticed her fingers to rest her head upon them while staring at her daughter. Unlike Alex, Rebecca's feelings weren't so clear in this moment. From the outside, one could speculate that Rebecca's constantly pushing the mythos of Hogwarts on her daughter had set her up for this disappointment. That, maybe, she could have been a happy squib if Rebecca had eased up a bit. At the same time, and she would never say this aloud to her daughter, the idea of Elspeth being a squib filled Rebecca with disappointment. She'd worked so hard to get where she was as a witch, and the idea of not having a child to pass her knowledge and culture on to was upsetting to say the least. It would make Rebecca the odd one out in a muggle family, and she was tired of feeling like her family wasn't a good fit for her.

Her mother's eyes bore into her like to small laser pointers that she couldn't ignore. Elspeth hoped that by continuing to look out the window, maybe her mom would get bored and find some other activity, but she could see through her peripheral vision that she was still sitting there like a statue, staring directly at her. It was uncomfortable. Elspeth could tell both of her parents were as wrapped up in her emotional state as she was. But neither of them bothered to ask her how she felt about the situation. Her dad was just constantly trying to cheer her up and make her forget about it and her mom was clearly disappointed in how Elspeth had failed to grow up and be a witch. It was all her fault. She'd shown exactly one magical moment in her life, and it wasn't even something she could have controlled. It was just a sneeze. Just one sneeze. No one had even been around to see it, except her, and she'd just woken up from a nap. Maybe she had made it up in her head. Maybe her own mom was sitting there, thinking up ways to punish her for lying about being magical.

But it hadn't been a lie. Elspeth would swear on the grave of her dead pet fish Goldie that she'd seen that butterfly expand and contract at the touch of her purple snot sparks. It wasn't her fault she wasn't magical enough for Hogwarts. What was she supposed to do about it? It wasn't fair that suddenly everyone was mad at her for things he couldn't control. Adults were annoying that like, always wanting her to be more like them and not really letting her just breathe and be herself for a second. What if she wanted to go to muggle school? What if she was magical but decided she didn't even want to go to Hogwarts? Did she have any say in the matter? A month ago, she'd leapt for joy at the idea of being a witch, but now she felt like maybe she only wanted to be a witch because her mom wanted that for her. Or maybe she did want to be a witch, but would pretend to be totally happy as a muggle just to spite her mom. That would annoy her. Elspeth couldn't control much of anything in her life, but the idea of annoying her mom right now made her feel like she had some kind of agency. If her mom was going to stare at her like some weird zoo exhibit, the least she could do was make her mom feel bad about it.

Now, of course, she was so frustrated with everything that she didn't want to be there anymore. She pushed back her seat and walked up the stairs to her bedroom without saying a word. Her mother called after her, "Elspeth, clear your plate," but she pretended not to hear as she slammed her door shut. Elspeth wanted to be mad. She wanted to yell and to scream and to hit and - and - and....

And suddenly she was laying on her bed, sobbing into her pillow uncontrollably. It was too much. Everyone's expectations were too much. Her inability to do anything at all right now was too much. She hated magic people. She hated muggles. She just wanted to be all by herself. She just wanted to be up in the air, flapping her wings all the way to Spain. Snot dripped from her nose onto the pillow and her hair was now wet around her face. Everything felt gross and disgusting, including her breaths which had turned into a sort of involuntary hiccup as she couldn't breathe through her nose from the congestion. There weren't any tissues in her room, though, and she didn't want to venture out in fear that one of her parents would see her like this, she didn't want them to know how upset she was. Instead she dabbed her eyes and face, and a little bit of her hair, with her blanket. Her nose felt like it was going to explode from the pressure, though, and she could feel it starting to give her a headache right between her eyes.

Flipping the pillow over, so the wet side was against her mattress, Elspeth laid down and fell asleep almost instantly from the exhaustion.

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Everyone was laughing at her, she could hear them from outside the closet she was stuck in. She couldn't see anything, the light turned out and no switch to be found. Some broom handles fell on her as she banged her way over toward the door, only visible from the small crack of light she could see peeking through at the bottom. She fumbled around, groping at the wooden frame in the hopes of finding a knob, but there wasn't one. The laughs got louder.

"HA! Look at that. That girl can't even open up the door."

"What's the matter? Can't find your wand?"

"Pfft, she couldn't unlock it even if she COULD find her wand. She's just a squib"

Elspeth was scared, she didn't know who they were or why she was trapped there. But she started to feel around in her pockets for anything that might help. She didn't have anything - no keys, no cards, no paper... wait.... was that? Elspeth wrapped her fingers around what felt like her wand and held it out in front of her, toward the door. This was it! She was going to get free!

But her heart sank with fear as she realized she didn't know how to use it. She waved the wand frantically, trying to make something happen. It was as if she'd forgotten how to move a leg or breathe. How was she supposed to make the magic come out?

"HA! The muggle thinks she can wave a stick around to open the door."

"God could muggles be any stupider?"

Elspeth looked down and suddenly, as if someone had switched on a light, she could see that what she thought had been a wand was just a stick. She looked back up. She was in her backyard, waving a stick around pretending to be a witch. Elspeth was maybe 4 or 5 years old.

"Okay Voldemort, it's just me and you!" she said in a squeaky voice, pointing the stick at a small scarecrow she'd made with her dad to sit in front of his raised garden bed. The scarecrow made no move, but she could tell it was quaking on its stick.

"Not talking huh? Give it up. You know you're no match for Elspeth, the greatest witch who ever lived!" Her voice thundered the last line with the trembling confidence of a tiny child ready to save the world. She dodged out of the way of invisible spells she was pretending the scarecrow was shooting at her. Elspeth waved the wand wildly, slinging them back at the evil Mr. Voldemort. She rolled, she dodged, she leapt! Until she was finally standing right beside the scarecrow, holding it by its collar.

"This is it Mr. Moldy Voldy. Do you have any last words before I Avada Kedavra you?" she pointed her stick at its face, mere inches away, ready to destroy the evil wizard once and for all.

But before she could, she felt something hard hit her in the side of her head. She fell over to her side, eyes closed and hands out to break her fall. Her clothes felt soaking wet, but the ground was bone dry and hard against her side. What was going on? Had the scarecrow actually cast magic on her? She thought she was just playing pretend.... Another hard smack, this time on her shoulder, and again, she felt a burst of wetness, this time running down her back.

"HA! Look at lil Smollens. Pretending to be a witch. What a laugh." she heard a scratchy voice say from behind the fence. It must be one of the neighbor boys.

"Oh man, do you think she knows how stupid she looks? HEY! SMELLENS! You know that witches aren't real right?" Before she could respond, a water balloon sailed over the fence and hit the ground just beside her, sending a splash of water against her legs and seeping into the dirt, turning it into mud.

She started crying and ran inside. Her parents were sitting at the breakfast table, eating some toast silently.

"Mom! Dad! The boys next door threw water balloons at me!" Elspeth was soaked, with grass and mud stains along her left side, and her eyes were tinged pink from crying. But neither of her parents looked up.

"MOM! DAD! Help me! The boys next door are throwing water balloons at me!" Still, they didn't turn toward her. She ran up and started tugging on their shirts, pushing their arms. No response.

Her dad looked at her mom, no emotions in his eyes, "I wonder what happened to Elspeth."

"Oh who cares. She was a bad daughter anyways. We have a better child now."

Elspeth was confused, at first. What in the world were her parents talking about? She was right here? But then, she saw a small child, sitting in her seat. She'd never seen this kid before... wait... It was her? It was her, only the her in the seat was the five year old, and suddenly she was ten again. Why was five year old her in the seat?

New Elspeth grinned menacingly at her, "Don't you remember? Mom and dad wanted to replace you when they found out you weren't a witch. You weren't interesting anymore. So they had me instead."

"Aw, that's right sweety!" Her dad said, ruffling her hair.

"We're just so proud of our prodigy pumpkin," her mom said, practically beaming at New Elspeth.

"Wait! But... But I'm right here!" Elspeth shouted at them, but they didn't hear her.

"Oh, you shouldn't even bother. I've charmed their memories. They have no idea who you even are anymore," New Elspeth's voice got low, dark, inhuman as she spoke.

Elspeth's parents turned away from New Elspeth and toward her. "AH! Who is this disgusting person in our house?" Her dad scrunched his nose up and leaned away in disgust.

"Elspeth can you please get rid of this awful thing?" Her mother asked New Elspeth.

"But I'M Elspeth! Mom, dad, you have to believe me! She isn't your daughter, I am!" Elspeth was practically screaming, but her words didn't come out. She felt her voice echoing inside of her, but it was as if she was muffled.

"Don't worry mommy and daddy. I'll protect you," New Elspeth stood up in her chair and pointed a stick toward Elspeth, a huge and monstrous grin spreading on her face, "AVADA KEDAVRA"

There was a green flash of light -

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"Elspeth? ELSPETH!"

Elspeth jolted away, sitting up fast and then feeling a searing pain in her forehead. As she opened her eyes, everything was blurry at first. She rubbed the sleep away, everything slowly coming into focus until she could see her dad was sitting on the edge of her bed, holding his forehead. It looked like when she sat up, she'd accidentally whapped right into him.

"Daddy!" she threw her arms around him and held him as tight as she could.

"Hey sweety! I heard you making some weird sounds from the other room. I thought you might be having a nightmare-" he patted her hair gently with one hand as he wrapped his other arm around her in a big hug.

It was only then that she realized her mom was there too. She was sitting at the foot of the bed with an envelope in her hands, a huge, proud smile stretching across her face from ear to ear -so wide it practically cast a glow up to her eyes making them twinkle with joy.

For a whole month, really her whole life, Elspeth had imagined what it would be like to get the welcome letter from Hogwarts. Maybe she'd be so excited she'd accidentally open the envelope too roughly and rip the letter inside. Maybe they'd throw her a party at a fancy tea shop in town. Maybe they'd go straight to Diagon Alley to start picking up her things. But in none of the visions of this moment had she imagined that she'd be hesitant to open it. Staring at the envelope, she felt a sudden dread at the weight of what was in it. What if she wasn't good enough to be a witch and she failed out of school? What would her parents think then?

But her mom couldn't see that inner turmoil from where she was sitting. She saw Elspeth's wide eyes and thought the girl was in a state of joyous shock, as she had been when the owl had arrived ten minutes ago (looking fairly weathered and screeching until she'd handed it some crackers).

"I have some mail for you honey. We wanted to be here with you when you opened it," Rebecca extended the letter toward Elspeth, who released her dad from the big hug and gingerly picked took the letter from her mom and held it in both of her hands.

The writing on the front was written in a crisp, green ink. Its letters were lovely, but not overly ostentatious. The Hogwarts crest was stamped in the lower left corner, each of the four houses represented around a large H. She ran her thumb over it, half expecting it to rub off and prove the letter was fake. But it was clearly addressed to her.

To: Ms. Elspeth Gollens
The Small Bedroom Upstairs
3 Westgrove Lane
Aberstwyth, Wales

Her dad rubbed his hand on her back, smiling at her.

"You'll have to show me some good baking magic when you come back for Winter Break. Maybe I can finally impress Gerald Kermish with my sourdough if we just add a little of your magic," his eyes were glistening a little (with pride, or the sad realization that his little girl was going to move out, one couldn't tell).

He wrapped her in a big hug again, and she met eyes with her mother, who was still beaming from across the bed.

"Your whole life is going to begin soon, honey. And I just-" her mom's voice caught on a lump in her throat, now she was getting misty too, "I just couldn't be prouder of you."

Her parents stayed to listen as she read the small welcome letter and list of supplies, then gave her some privacy so she could enjoy the letter on her own. As her door closed behind them, Elspeth continued to stare blankly at the pages laid out on her bed in front of her, unsure of whether she was excited or terrified of what was set into motion now. Either way, her whole body was full of a zapping sensation, and her breathing became labored. She laid down under the cover, the letter pages sliding down off the bedsheets and onto the floor, before falling back asleep. This time, she didn't dream anything at all.