To Lay Roses Solo Closed

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Interacting With N/A
Mentioning: @Flash Holmwood | @Ruby Cazares | @Eyre Reeves | @Rafael D'Spacito
Hex Color: #FF4080
The 'fit
Date:Early afternoon, 23 December 2020
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Alone figure entered the cemetery, roses and heart in hand. As the wind ruffles her tan coat, she approaches a headstone. It is newly carved, the ground recently disturbed in comparison to its surrounding companions. The headstone is relatively simple, bearing a name and the years lived. No quotes inscribed, no description of the life lead.

Athena Bernadette Switch Beckett
1981-2020

The figure stops and removes her sunglasses, her red eyes and tearstained cheeks visible for the world to see if there were anyone who cared to look. The girl bends over and lays the bouquet of stunning red and white roses atop the mound of earth. As the wind ruffles her hair and coat, she wraps her arms around herself. Despite her somewhat mature choice of outfit, it is clear she is little more than a child, someone that might be blown away with the slightest gust of wind. The girl lets out a heart-breaking sob before bringing her hand to her mouth as if to contain herself.

"Hello, Mother," Ana said, her voice trembling. "God, this feels weird. Can you even hear me? I suppose you can't answer that, can you? Because you're-" Ana's words are interrupted by another sob. After taking a moment to compose herself, she continued. "Um, I don't even know where to begin. My birthday was a few days ago. I'm 14 now. God, I feel older than that. The Gala's in a few days. I think you'd like it. Oh, I made the Quidditch team this year. It's been amazing." She stopped again, swallowing to stop another sob. "Rafa's a great captain. I think you'd like him. He's been a great friend this term too. Ruby has too. I don't think I would have made it without them. Eyre and I had a bit of a blowup. Actually, no, what am I saying? It was a mess. But, um, we've made up and I think we're gonna be okay." She ran a hand through her hair.

God, even without her mother there to comment and interject her opinions on things, Ana was still trying to paint her life in a way that might impress her. "There's this boy too, Flash. He's lovely and I think you'd love him-" Ana stopped midsentence. "No, you know what, I don't think you'd like him. You never liked anything I did or anyone I chose to spend time with. God, why wasn't I enough?" Tears streamed down the girl's face now and she made no effort to stop them. Her voice wasn't raised, it was hushed. To anyone that knew her, that would be more concerning than if she was screaming at the top of her lungs. "I tried so hard, Mother. So hard. Just to please you and Father. I still am. That's why I'm hosting that godforsaken Gala. Because it's what you would want. You know what Uncle Edward is saying to explain you and Father just being gone? He's spewing nonsense about dragon pox and heartbroken by grief. Which he said is what you would want. Because to you, nothing matters more than appearances." Ana's tears continued and she sunk to her knees as she let out another sob. She wasn't just upset at the loss of her mother. She was angry at her mother. Angry that she left. Angry for what she had done while she had been alive. Angry at her for her impossible expectations. Angry at the fact she hadn't stayed and angry at the things that would stay with her daughter for the rest of her life.

"God, what kind of person is this angry at their dead mother?" Ana whispered. "Why wasn't I enough for you?" Her body shook as she wept again. "Why didn't you stop him that night? Mother, what did I do wrong?" The girl's voice sounded like a child pleading for something. Pleading for her mother's love, for one last hug. The worst part was, even if Athena were still alive, Ana would still be pleading. "Please, Mother." Ana's sobs continued for a long time, she honestly had no idea. Tears she hadn't allowed herself to cry for months. "You know I was kidnapped this term? As in tied up and fucking abducted. You know what the only thing I could think about was? How disappointed you and Father would be with me? Not getting out of there, not even really being all that scared I was going to die. What do I need to do to be enough? Because I want to, I do."

Ana's words were getting more and more choked up. At the end of the day, despite all she had dealt with that year, she was a fourteen-year-old who didn't want anything more than her parent's pride. She had been striving for it her entire life, and even now, with her mother dead and her father incarcerated, she was still searching for answers. "Please? I'm trying. I'm trying so hard, Mother," the girl implored, any pretense of composure long gone. Her tears and pleading continued for what felt like hours.

After her tear ducts seemed to dry up and her begging had turned to whispers, she swallowed and inhaled sharply. While, oddly enough, she still hadn't gotten an answer from the mound before her, she oddly enough felt better than she had in months. Dusting herself off, she stood and stared pensively at the headstone. "I think I'm gonna be okay, you know," she said softly. "I didn't, not since the summer. But I'm gonna be okay."