Alone In My Mind PV Rowan Bane closed

The quiet washed over him, unbroken save for the occasional squeak from the bunny in his lap. 
He had slid off of his chair into the snow, waiting for the same rabbit to come around again. By now it knew he had snacks, and that he was warm and quiet. The steady stream of food he provided made him a favorite of this creature. What more could the animal ask for?
The wheelchair sat a foot or two away, holding his bag of books and what not. It was hard to reach the animals from up there, with his short arms. And the bunnies did not take kindly to being picked up. He wouldn’t want to ruin his relationship. 
Only when the crunch of approaching footsteps broke through his little bubble did he realize someone was approaching. 
Turning his head, he looked to the newcomer. They had yet to spot him, it seemed. Maybe because of how low to the ground he was. Though the longer they looked the better idea he got of them. Female, definitely. An inquisitive face, with bright eyes. 

"Hello."

He said, in a gentle voice. It was always like this, but Rowan made sure it was even this time. New people were not his favorite, and he wanted to make sure he didn't scare her with his sudden appearance. Or at least to her, his sudden appearance.

A gentle voice pulled Elena out of her slightly confusing pattern of thoughts, she blinked a few times then looked in the direction of the sound. Rowan was sitting by his chair in the snow with a small bunny sitting on him, the little creature seemed to be relatively relaxed around him. Elena smiled a little bit, it was peaceful, finally something peaceful in this school full of noise and shadows that moved way too fast.

"Hi." Elena spoke softly, not wanting to disturb the calm of the scene, "I um, I'm Elena, I wanted to say sorry about before, can I sit near you?"

He already probably knows who you are, damn it Elena why can't you summon back up the confidence you had during ROAM? The answer was simple, she felt so alone again, so unsure of the world around her, as if she'd drained her power to believe in herself. Elena rubbed her eyes, then shrunk back down into her cloak, the girl managed not to pull her hood back up again, although she did grab onto the necklace she'd gotten from Min. Fear was something she was overly accustomed to at this point, although that didn't make it any easier to feel it.

Rowan raised a brow as the girl turned around. From ROAM. Right. However he didn't know her name, so that was new information. He looked around him in the snow for a moment, making sure he hadn't left anything out, and more importantly, making sure a bunny hadn't decided to sit near him as well. After a moment, he nodded, sure there was nothing there to get hurt.
He looked up at her again, studying her closely. She wanted to apologize about something. That's why she was here. He attempted to calm his racing mind, going over all of the possibilities of what could go wrong. Professor Griffiths had good taste in character, he knew this. Nothing bad would happen. Nothing bad should happen. 
Though the more he looked over her... the smaller she seemed. Lonely, was it? Or scared? She seemed to retreat into her cloak, like she wanted to hide. She wasn't scared of him though. Maybe scared of his reaction, instead, with how she asked to sit next to him. That and she clutched to something, a necklace it seemed? A nervous tick maybe. 
No. Nothing bad should happen today. She wasn't dangerous at the moment, and she wanted to get on his good side it seemed. 
He relaxed slightly, letting his shoulders fall a bit more.

Elena watched with slightly scared eyes that weren't able to be hidden due to her haircut. That's what happens when she gets happy and overly excited, she doesn't think about how she can hide. Her hair was growing back quickly though, so soon she'd have somewhere to hide her eyes without putting her hood right back up again.

Rowan seemed to consider for a moment before nodding, and Elena released a breath she didn't know she was holding. She gave him a slightly sad looking smile and sat down, folding the way too big cloak around her by reflex instead of careful planning. Elena sat and glanced at the bunny for a second, it seemed to still be happy, so the peaceful moment wasn't damaged. Excellent.

Elena fiddled with her cloak, "I um, I wanted to say sorry about not talking to you at ROAM. Alan gets a bit scared around new people because almost everyone is really mean to him. He looked really worried going down to the stable too, and I sort of got why, because when there's lots of people my brain goes all haywire and I can't really think properly, all the shadows grow bigger, the world gets so bright, and a single noise sounds just so loud."

All of the words she'd been holding in about what happens with her own mind, all the difficulties spilt out by accident, it was normally easy to hold it in, "And now I'm talking too much, as usual. I'm sorry..."

Rowan's eyes snapped up to her as she talked of the noises getting loud as there were lots of people.
He knew that. He knew that feeling. All that it was was different words. 

"Muggles call it sensory overload." 

He winced at his sudden words for a moment. He wanted to let her know it was fine.
But she was here for another reason. She was here to apologize. Not talk about the darkness in their mind. Sorry- her mind. 
Was Rowan really that desperate for someone to understand? To the point that he would talk about this with someone who was almost a complete stranger? He want his screams to be understood and not just pitted.
He put a hand over his mouth for a moment, hiding a small smile. 

"I don't mind, to be honest. The silence is nice but I am always willing to lend an ear. But that's not the reason you're here, yes? You didn't mean to say that. I accept your apology though. For the ROAM event. But not for the talking, because you shouldn't have apologized in the first place, yes?"

The bunny stirred slightly in his arms and he snapped his eyes down to it. He was almost out of feed. He'd have to get more somehow. His supply back in the room was almost gone too, after all.

Elena smiled a little bit, "Thank you, and I guess I probably shouldn't apologise over talking, it's just sort of reflex I guess..."

Sensory overload? A clue maybe, something to tell Elena why it kept happening to her. Coming out here was becoming a better idea and remaining outside was slightly less daunting by the second, "Sensory overload? Can you tell me more, if I'm not bothering you, that is."

Usually Elena would go to the library for information on it, but today it was busy from all the last minute studying. Students really didn't do their homework until the last minute, she understood why Griffith was so snarky about it. Talking to Rowan might be more helpful anyway, especially considering the psychology section of the library was roughly about one book that was more of a dictionary than an actually book.

The bunny appeared to move slightly, Elena frowned like maybe she'd caused it. That wouldn't be good, one of the few things she really didn't want to do was disturb the little critter. Part of her still wondered if she was interrupting the scene, although her overtired state lended itself to the slight numbing of emotions.

Except fear, which was somehow harsher because of it.

"You're not bothering me at all. I promise. It's when your senses take in information faster than your brain can process it. It can cause panic attacks and many other issues mentally." 

He studied her closer, for just a moment before he slowly reached out, taking her hands and cupping them in front of her. The next step was transferring the bunny to her. Rowan took a small handful of what feed he had left and placed it in her hands. 

"Stay still for a moment."

Assuming she followed the command, the next part was easy. The bunny would just go after the food and inch forward into her lap. As long as she kept providing food, and didn't harm the creature, it would stay with her. 

"You're... calmer than many of the people here. You're less energetic. Which is a nice change. Slower paced."

He was smiling he realized. Just a little. But it matched the expression on the other girl's face. The calm happiness. Like being underwater almost. The outside world just blocked out for a moment, leaving you with your thoughts. 

“That sounds, exactly like it. I’m guessing lack of sleep would make it worse then.” Elena frowned, it sounded like exactly what had been happening recently. Too much too quickly and she had to run away and hide.

Elena blinked curiously at Rowan as he moved her hands, but allowed it. He was nice, harmless, and somehow understood her better than most people did so far. She stayed still as he requested, still unsure of what he was doing. The point of it became clear a moment later when the rabbit was lured over to her by way of food. The little creature quickly started munching on the food Rowan had handed to her and she smiled softly at it.

“You’re really calm too, so much of the castle is so loud, but it’s almost like you have a little bubble around you.” Elena looked up at Rowan thoughtfully, “Like, an aura of calm, if that makes sense.”

Not that Elena usually made much sense to people, they could catch some of her words and interpret most of the analogies but really understanding the whole thing? No, that was left to people whose words were practical. Not someone who couldn’t speak without using a dozen strange similes in a row.

"It does. It makes sense." 

Rowan's whole thing was over analysis. Of course he would understand her. Interpret her little phrases and her body language. She was just like him. Searching for the calm bubble he found out here. She just didn't do well in complete silence like he did. She needed someone to listen every once and awhile. Like he did. 
But... She wouldn't understand him. People never did. She thought he was... weak. That's the word he had been searching for. That's why she was so calm around him. She let him get close and help her. 
And for a sick little moment, he hated her for that. Hated her for underestimating him. And he wanted to take that little shred of weakness she had shown him and break it. He wasn't weak. He refused to be. He wasn't going to be her pity case.
Though he stopped. Rowan wasn't cruel. He never was. So why did he want to do this? He was angry that's why. Angry at his circumstances. Angry at the wheelchair that made him a pity case. That made him broken. Or... that made it apparent to everyone. He hated himself then for even thinking of hurting her. 
After all, she was just like him. 
Rowan leaned back, pulling the wheelchair a little closer so he could grab the satchel off the side of it, digging through it for a moment before he handed Elena a small bag full of more feed. He had gone too silent through his inner turmoil. 

"We're... very similar. If you'll believe that. You just... show your emotions more. I tend to stay guarded. I fill my head with rain to drown out the... demons. The other conversations that overwhelm. The silence. Or the negative thoughts."