A Type of Pondering PV Closed

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Interacting With: @Wren Caster
Hex Color: #FF4080
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It was honestly a wonder that Ana was still standing. Between the Masquerade, the first Quidditch game of the season, and what had happened on Halloween, she was exhausted in every possible way. She hadn't thought that she could be much more worn out than she already was, and here she was being proven desperately and utterly wrong. As if the emotional and mental fatigue weren't enough, she was barely sleeping anymore. Not that her sleep habits were ideal at the start of the term, but they had somehow managed to become exponentially worse. Every time she closed her eyes, she was back in the forest, watching that gruesome transformation again. Considering how much she had been flinging herself into her studies, she had managed to keep her outdoor activities to a minimum, but she knew that she couldn't just refuse to go outside again.

Logically, she knew that the danger came as she neared the Forbidden Forest, so as long as she stayed where she was supposed to, in theory, she would be safe. That didn't mean that she wasn't still far more terrified than she would have liked to be. Yawning slightly, she set out on her stroll. She sipped coffee as she wandered, desperately trying to think about something that wasn't the insane mess that was her life. What celestial being had she pissed off to earn what had happened that summer, the mess at the Ball, and then on top of it all, get kidnapped?

Nearly dying had caused her to reevaluate a number of things, but most of all, how lonely she was. Oddly enough, pushing one's friends away for months on end seemed to do that.

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@ Anastasia Beckett
It was November. The flaky white snow had begun to fall and Thanksgiving preparations were being made for an enormous feast. Children were starting to gather their Christmas lists and dream about what Santa would bring them, they were wondering what the tree would look like later in December and whether it would have many presents under it. While other children were, Wren was not. The only thing she was wondering about was if her father would make it long enough for her to visit him over Christmas break.

During the summer her father had been diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. He had been given a month to live, but with the chemo he had survived almost four months. He was her rock, her everything and if he didn't make it she would fall into one big pit of despair. Her mother would have to raise her new baby brother alone, she would have to navigate a new world where he was not in her life. She was stressed as well. Her work load was worse than last year and it didn’t help that she procrastinated. It was ingrained in who she was so she could nothing of it. She had pulled away from her friends, as she'd had not time for them lately and frankly didn’t want to spend time with.

She sat stood up from the bench to continue on her walk when she spotted the dark haired bubbly friend of hers, Anastasia, walking with a coffee cup in hand and a thoughtful expression on her face. Wren's face broke into a small sad smile. She walked over to Anastasia and said a simple 'Hello'
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Interacting With: @Wren Caster
Hex Color: #0080FF
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Ana's head turned slightly upon hearing a voice. Her lips turned upwards into a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. She was trying to be more open, trying to not shut everyone out the way she had all year, so this seemed as good a start as any. She hadn't seen much of Wren this year, although to be perfectly honest, she had made an effort to not see much of anyone. It was rather surreal, seeing someone who was so much a part of the Before. Even the friends that she had fought with and ignored had some position in the After. She had absolutely no idea what, if anything, that Wren might have heard about her in the time since they had last spoken, which made her uneasy. Anything being out of Ana's control made her uncomfortable and this was no exception.

"Wren! It's been a while, how's your second year going?" Ana said, her voice friendly but lacking the confidence and happiness from years past. As her dark eyes took in her friend's appearance, she could tell something was bothering her as well. Was this what growing up meant? Worries piling up and wearing you down until your spirit was broken? That's what it seemed like to Ana. She had gained a great deal of the benefits of being an adult when she had inherited her massive fortune, but that only seemed to be one more thing weighing down on her. Planning the Beckett Gala had fallen to her, and while she had enjoyed it more than she had initially expected, it was only another opportunity for her to fail. She knew that it was what her mother would have wanted, and yet it felt wrong. Her mother's death was still an almost complete secret and Ana was throwing a party. Just another in a growing list of contradictions that formed Ana's life.

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@ Anastasia Beckett

The friend that last year had been so happy and filled with joy, and whom Wren had thought would for sure cheer her up was empty it seemed. The voice that had been the voice of pure elation in their first year, was now void of all joy. It almost made Wren want to cry. She barely got a reply out to the girl's previous question of how her second year was going. "I-it's going" she said with a small sigh. "A lot less naps this year for sure" she attempted a laugh at her own sad joke. With the way the two were conversing, Wren felt depressed. Anastasia was so different than last year and even though she was too, it hit her hard.

"How's second yea-" her voice cracked and she let one single tear before she finished the sentence "g-going for you" She asked attempting to lighten the mood but failing miserably. After she chocked that out, the floodgates opened. She sat on the ground and let the silent tears fall. Not one noise came out of her mouth. After about five minutes, her tears dried up, she stood up, brushed herself off and profusely apologized to her friend.

She was embarrassed. She had just broken down right in front of a friend and had shown vulnerability. She never showed vulnerability. She just didn't. She lived by the motto 'Even if you're sad, fake happiness' (yes she had also made it up). This meant something to her, it meant that she was truly at rock bottom, that something bad was also to come. She knew in her heart of hearts that the call was to come today, and with that, she couldn't hold anymore of her tears back. Though she had already cried once in-front of Ana once, she sat down again and embraced the wetness rolling down her cheeks. [/font]

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Interacting With: @Wren Caster
Hex Color: #0080FF
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Ana laughed lightly, as if laughing would dismiss the heaviness that was clearly weighing on both of them. Ana wished she could nap that year. Sleep seemed to be getting more and more difficult to come by, and the few moments of rest she was able to get were generally haunted by images of her mother, the Blossom Ball, and that night in the woods. Absently tracing the patterns on the mug, her eyes met Wren's again. "There's a saying about that. No rest for the weary," Ana said, trying to keep the mood light. "Or the wicked. Or something... God, what was wrong with the world that she and Wren of all people were relegated to these downtrodden messes?

Ana's eyes widened slightly at the tears that began to flow after Wren's next words. She froze for a moment, not entirely certain what to do. When she was crying, she mostly just wanted to be left alone, but what if that wasn't what Wren wanted? Then again, Ana often said she wanted to be left alone when what she really wanted was someone to be there for her. She bit her lip, not sure what to do as Wren apologized. When the tears started flowing again, Ana was more ready. She set her coffee down and sat beside Wren, gingerly rubbing her back. She wasn't the most comforting person, but she figured that this was better than awkwardly standing there. She had been where Wren was right now more times than she could count. She of all people knew that crying in front of other people was embarrassing and showing weakness. Seeing as simply walking away seemed a bit cruel and cold, this seemed like the best thing Ana could do in this situation. Maybe she would find answers about her own sorrow in her attempts to comfort another.

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@ Anastasia Beckett
Wren was out of sorts. She was reduced to a heap of salt water and Ana's once bright and cheerful face, failed to lift Wren's spirits. It was like fate was playing some cruel fate on the both of them and the world was laughing in their faces. Wren didn't know what had happened to make Ana this way, and she wasn't about to ask, but whatever it was had affected Ana dramatically.

In another small (albeit half-hearted) attempt to even bring even a little of lightness to the heavy air around the two, Wren spoke. "Should I start calling this new you Anastasia?" It failed. Wren started ugly sobbing.

Why She internally screamed to universe. If there even was a hint of a god out in the world, why would they allow this to happen. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD WITHOUT MY DAD. her internal thoughts turned feral. She wiped her eyes, stood up quickly accidentally knocking Ana's mug over in the process, bared her shoulders and decided to do something about anything. All she wanted to do was be happy. The last six months or so she had lived in a haze. Her dad was dead. She was a bastard. But her baby brother had been born. There was something to celebrate. She needed to be there for him when she came home in the summers.

"Ana" she said "Whatever's wrong, we need to focus on the positive. Yes, life's gone to shit, but there's still some good left if we look. Can I help you find it?" She left it at that waiting for the other girl's reply. [/font]