The Rebound Redhead PV Finished

Ever since he'd grown tall enough to spot himself in the hallway mirror every morning (this would've happened around the age of five), Scott had been able to safely say he recognised himself. And he had been very relieved to, as well, because already as a small child had he learned of his own great dislike of change. His juvenile distrust of it.

If asked to explain it, Scott wouldn't have meant it in any superficial way at all: he wasn't nostalgic, per se, and it was never the future that frightened him. For instance, he'd longed then for the day he'd go to Hogwarts, and he longed now for the day he'd graduate... No, there was something else about change that Scott just couldn't bear: the way it so ruthlessly affected people. People he loved, in particular, but really most anyone... He'd gotten a glimpse of it in different corners of his family over the years, and he hadn't exactly enjoyed it. He'd seen things that used to make them happy lose their magic, and things he knew used to make them scared creep into their lives without him being able to stop it.

He'd seen them change until they were no longer the same people that he'd once begged to lift him up, in front of that same hallway mirror, before he was tall enough.

That's why it was so important to him to at least recognise himself, now. He had friends that he loved, and therefor never wanted to change in the eyes of. He didn't want any of them to look at him and wonder where he was, the way he sometimes could with them.

But then, as if the world had heard and understood his worry that it would some day change too much- it decided to do just that. Without a fair warning.

Go figure.

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He was sitting with his back against the wall, and with Lady by his feet. The air was cold still, Scottish May as it was, but he'd found that as long as he sat facing the sun- he'd be able to feel it warming both him and the stone up, slowly but surely. And since there were no benches around this one side of the castle, Scott was sitting like a tailor in the grass, picking the thin blades apart with his nails.

At least it wasn't as wet anymore. Summer was teasing its way.

This wasn't actually a common situation to find Scott in. He loved the outdoors, this much was true, but he had always preferred to take walks. And he'd never liked to sit straight down on the ground like this, because he was far too wary of dirt... But today, like many of the days prior, Scott just hadn't found the energy to do anything else.

They still hadn't talked. Not since April.

It was a bitter thing to admit, that Ami might've been a vital source of his vitality after all.

"But you don't need to do things all the time, do you Lady? No. I plead the first amendment of adolescence! The right to be lazy. I've still got all my slots."

Scott knew, of course, that people didn't generally appreciate getting called lazy when they're sad... but he himself saw it as a perfect alternative. A fourteen-year-old boy, wasting an afternoon away in the grass, because he's just not feeling homework? That sounded almost heavenly compared to the truth, and the truth isn't important when you're only talking to yourself.

"That's right."

Or with your cat. Though it wasn't as though he was, because he knew Lady didn't listen to nonsense. She was having a proper time sunbathing, her chin up in the air.

But he couldn't avoid it completely, could he? There was a reason why he was wasting the afternoon away there, and not in the crowded courtyard, for instance. A reason why he'd decided to be alone, even though he was beginning to regret it. There was something welling up... Every day he'd felt it now, even since before the ball. But the things the two of them had said that night, Ami and he, had only brought it all to the brim. And it had stayed there since. It was almost like he could feel it in his throat, like you can a cold...

Something was off. Something he didn't recognise. And it killed him.

"No. No, this won't do. Will it, Lady?"

Just as his cat had turned to actually pay him some sympathetic attention, Scott stood up quickly, swaying a bit on his feet and taking to lean against the wall in what he felt was a painfully silly fashion. He needed to go inside now. Or eat. Or maybe take that walk... Or eat.

Moving his hand to rub his damp cheeks embarrassedly for a second, Scott took a breath or two.

"Won't do at all."

"I- I am so sorry! I... sorry, sorry,"

Oh?

Blinking in confusion around him, it took Scott a good second to realise that something had collided with his shoulder, during this dazed state... And bringing his ears up to speed, as well, that something had just apologised to him- which meant his reply would be instant and automatic anyway. There wasn't a mood in the book that could keep Scott from being polite back.

"My fault."

Moving his hand to brush over his upper arm instinctively, even though she hadn't hurt him, Scott turned his head to the girl with still quite a distant and bewildered face.

"My fault. I didn't watch where I was going. Sorry."

But only then did Scott start to recognise the student, little by little. At first (and he'd cursed himself senseless over this) her red hair had startled him... Was that the level on which this ridiculousness was, already? But of course, he did realise who she really was. Not her name, per se... But it didn't matter. This was perfect.

He straightened his back properly and tried to retrieve all the energy back into his expression. Then, with some embarrassment, he rubbed his eyes one last time in what he hoped was a very swift and innocent motion. And he smiled, which, whether it would work or not, still felt an awful lot better than whatever it was he'd been doing before.

"I was, uh, watching my cat. I've got to get better with that, though, staying focused! Can't keep tumbling Hufflepuffs over, can I? Your Head of House has started to complain... And while I wouldn't say I'm scared of him, I also wouldn't say that I'm not. Would be too arrogant of me, don't you agree? Because you never know."

He laughed, and studied her shortly again. He couldn't blame himself too much, for thinking she was Ami at first... They had the same red hair, and he knew he'd seen the two together, but looking at her now there was no arguing that there was a distinct difference in personality, a shyness, to the girl he'd bumped into compared to his friend.

Well, he says friend.

"I don't think I remember your name. I'm Scott Alexander."

Smiling, he brushed some grass clippings of the palm of his hand against his trouser leg, and reached it forwards for her to shake.

𝓠uickly, Amadea tried to back away and move on as if the whole thing had never happened. She was rattled, and the last thing she wanted to do was stand here and talk to the boy she had just plowed into. He began apologizing, claiming it to be his fault. Amadea was shocked; how could he possibly think it was his fault? She was the one who had her eyes closed and was walking...shaking her head she decided it would be best not to argue about who was at fault for this collision and instead brush it off and continue on her way. Unfortunately, the boy was still talking, saying something about his cat.

Amadea fought the urge to let out a sigh. God, what had gotten into her? She felt like some crotchety old lady who yelled at everyone because she wanted them to go away. This wasn't her at all. What was wrong with her? Today just wasn't a good day. That was all. She needed to pull it together and go back to being normal again. She didn't recognize this new version of herself and it scared her. That was why she was on this walk. Trying to channel her old friendly self, Amadea looked down at the cat the boy had been referring to. Cats were something Amadea had never been particularly fond of. Growing up, she had never had any pets, but had always leaned more toward wanting a dog rather than a cat. There was something so charming and energetic about having a dog; you didn't have to question whether or not they loved you. Cats, on the other hand, had piercing stares and hissed at Amadea when she tried to pet them. Jesus Christ Amadea, she thought to herself. Pull it together. You're even judging the cat.

She realized she probably looked weird just standing there in silence as Scott rambled on, mentioning something about his cat and the Hufflepuff Head of House; to be frank, Amadea had missed part of whatever he was saying as she was to lost in her own thoughts. She cleared her throat. "I-Amadea," she said, answering Scott's question. "Amadea Campbell," she added as an afterthought, remembering Scott had offered both his first and last name. She reached out and shook his outstretched hand, studying him as she did. Amadea had never interacted with Scott before but she had heard of him because he was best friends with her best friend, Ami Procoppio. Realizing she knew virtually nothing about him and that she wasn't going to get out of this situation without staying for a conversation first, she decided to ask a question in the hopes that it would lead to the end of the conversation more quickly. It wasn't like she was suddenly unfriendly, but she just wasn't in a talking mood. It didn't help that all of her social skills had evaporated after only being with her sister, her mother, and Dr. Sherman for more than six months. Pile that all on top of he shy exterior and it was much easier to understand why the girl was in no mood to interact with someone that she barely knew, especially on this very off day.

"Your cat," Amadea blurted out, thinking of an easy topic to talk about. "She's..." Amadea looked down at the cat, struggling to grasp a word to describe it. "Pretty," she finished at last, admiring the cat's sleek fur. As much as Amadea didn't like cats, she had to admit that this one was very elegant; maybe this cat would be the exception to the creepy beady-eyed cat stereotype Amadea had ingrained into her brain.

"Right! Amadea. I should've known that... But names have never been my strongest suit. I remember faces like it's nothing, but names take a while to stick. Yours might in particular, actually, because I've never heard it before... And believe me, I've grown up around some strange names. Not that it's strange! I think it's pretty."

Scott had, very fortunately, already let go off Amadea's hand before he finished speaking (though this was a relatively new development of his for which she should be grateful). But he had still shook it eagerly enough, and with what he hoped had been evident interest in his eyes, and not something manic...

Because he was interested. Well, he would've been, had she caught him in his usual mood. All of Scott's first and second year, he remembered clearly, had basically been about introducing himself to as many people, and trying to get to know as many students, as humanly possible. That trend had eased, he knew... and his so eager wish to talk with everyone had also settled quite drastically these last few weeks- but this felt like a nice reminder. This, he thought, was what he ought to be doing.

Not whatever that other thing had been. That silly, silly thing.

"Your cat. She's.... pretty."

Scott looked at her in confusion for a moment. Then his head snapped quickly down to his pet, who circling his feet, and back to the girl.

"Oh! Yes. Thank you! I brush her myself. Well.... of course I do. She can't very well do it on her own, now, can she? She'd have been a lot more expensive if she could... The name's Lady Madeleine. I know it isn't very macho but it still feels right for her. Like a noblewoman. Because I bet she is... sure acts like one, anyway. Do you like cats?"

Scott was about to bend down and pick his pet up for the moment, but stopped as he realised Lady was already making her own way around the new girl's feet. Inspecting...

"Oh. Well maybe cats like you, at least! Sure seems like it! ...Unless you're a murderous vampire in disguise, in which case you should probably run right about now- because I think that's what she's checking for me at the moment."

Scott laughed, and crossed his arms. It was amazing how you could feel very down in one moment, and in the next- forget why you were even down in the first place. At least nearly... Maybe it was Amadea's personal effect! A Hufflepuff aura or something like that, because Ami had also been very good with distracting him from those bad thoughts. Though she might've been more aware of what she was doing than her friend was now.

Because they were friends, the two of them, weren't they? Of course, they were both girls in the same house and in the same year, but Scott could swear he'd seen them together in a way much more like their own. Or, the way they used to be. But as he came think of it, Scott hadn't seen the two in a while. In fact, he didn't think he could remember seeing Amadea at all for quite some time...

"Have you been away?" he blurted out, not considering the very likely possibility that he just hadn't noticed the girl with whom he'd never spoken before. Truly, he was still in part himself.

── ❋ ──

𝓐madea couldn't help but crack a half smile as Scott rambled on about her name. It was true, she had quite an unusual first name, though she figured it made up for the plainness of her last. Many people struggled to pronounce it, either pronouncing the wrong syllable (A-MAY-dee-uh instead of A-muh-DAY-uh) or completely saying the wrong name (Amanda, Amara). Amadea had heard it all. "Don't worry," she said with a sigh. "Names aren't my strong suit either; I can always remember someone's face but putting the name to it is the challenge." Especially with the sheer amount of people at Hogwarts, Amadea had trouble keeping track of everyone's names. She could often remember seeing a person's face somewhere or having a brief conversation with them, but their name was harder to remember.

Now that introductions were over, maybe Amadea could slip away and continue on her walk. But of course, the conversation continued. It would be rude to walk away in the middle of it. Amadea wished she knew how to quickly end a conversation without being mean about it. Maybe she could tell Scott that she was having some feminine problems...that always scare the boys away. Bring up anything related to the menstrual cycle and they'd be running far, far away.

Before Amadea could say anything, though, Scott was rambling on, yet again. This time it was about his cat, who had somehow appeared at Amadea's feet and was winding her way through Amadea's legs. She fought the urge to kick the cat away from her; ever since Leo Amadea had a newfound wariness of cats and any creatures similar to them. Thankfully, this cat didn't seem to be as hostile. Scott mentioned something about her being named Lady Madeleine and Amadea had to admit that it did seem to fit the cat quite well; she wasn't doing any of those horrible cat things that Leo did.

"Cats are...nice," Amadea finished lamely, answering Scott's question. She didn't want to offend the poor boy, but she also didn't want to tell the entire truth either. Though since Scott was Ami's best friend, Amadea figured he knew all about Leo. "I've always been more of a dog person," she finally continued. "And uh, Ami's cat, Leo, solidified that for me," she added. "But your cat seems nice." Tentatively, Amadea reached her hand down toward the cat, wondering if she should let it sniff her or if she should go in for a pet. Amadea decided on the latter and rubbed her hand briefly over Lady's soft fur. She had to admit, Lady was beautiful. And she seemed much less crazy than Leo, so that was a plus. Maybe Lady could redeem cats in Amadea's animal ranking. As she stood back up, ready to tell Scott something along the lines of: "It was so nice to meet you but I have to go now," he blurted out another question, catching Amadea completely off guard.

"Have you been away?" It was such a simple question, really she could just respond with a yes or a no, but the context behind the question was what caught Amadea off guard. She was surprised that people even noticed she was gone; Amadea had her small group of close friends, but other than that, she didn't socialize very much. Her shy personality was part of it, but also Amadea was satisfied with her little group. As her parents always told her, it was much better to have a small group of really good friends than a large group of acquaintances. So, Amadea stuck with her group. She wondered if any other people had noticed she was gone; she didn't want to have to explain it to them. Amadea wondered if her close friends even knew why she had been gone. She hadn't really announced to anyone why she left or when she was coming back, leaving much of it up to their own imagination. She hadn't even told her best friends what had happened; how was she going to explain it to someone she barely even knew?

At this point, there had been a long pause in their conversation; Scott had asked the question and Amadea froze. She knew she needed to say something, anything, but she couldn't bring herself to spit out the words. Without meaning to, "That's none of your business," came out instead. Immediately, Amadea felt a pang of guilt. Why was she being so mean? Just because she was having a shitty time dealing with life didn't mean she had to start yelling at everyone around her and making them upset too. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she apologized, wishing she could take the words back. "I-it's just," she paused, trying to find the right words. Now that she had snapped at the poor boy, she felt like she owed him an explanation. "Well, to answer your question, yes I have been away. It's just...I haven't really talked about it with anyone? And to be honest, I'm not even really sure what I would even say?" Now that Amadea had started talking, she was on a roll and words were just coming out of her mouth.

"I-well the simple answer is that my father passed away." She paused. The fact that she could just get the sentence out without breaking down into tears was a big accomplishment. The fact that she was telling it to someone she barely new was even more surprising. "I. Um. I decided to take a break from school for a while to stay home with my sister and my mum so we could. I guess. Heal together? And um. Well. I came back. Obviously. But. I guess I'm kind of questioning whether or not I should have. So then I went on a walk to clear my mind and try to work through my emotions, I guess, and now here we are." She closed her mouth, hoping that she hadn't overwhelmed Scott with all of her rambling. She had never told this to anyone besides Dr. Sherman and Amadea wondered why it was all spilling out now. Maybe she was just too tired of keeping it all bottled up inside. She just hoped she could trust Scott with the information she had just told him.

── ❋ ──

"That's none of your business."

Oh. Oh no.

At these words, Scott cringed as the sensation of his head filling up with exasperated thoughts suddenly overwhelmed him. It was quick, and a terrible push back into his old mood.

Why the hell had he asked her that?

Scott never swore out loud, and it was very rare that he used such mild profanity even in his own mind, but this situation called for it. He felt, again, like he had done earlier this year with Marla out on the pitch... Why did he have to be so intrusive? And why, pray tell, did it always take him so long to figure out that that's he was being? Because Amadea was right. It wasn't any of his business. Of course it wasn't.

"Oh! I-"

Looking desperately to her, already halfway through an apology, Scott quickly realised that seeing her expression only made things worse: she looked about as horrified as he felt himself.

With a sinking feeling in his chest, Scott realised that she hadn't even meant to say what she said... The kind girl in front of him was regretting it. Why did this make him feel worse? Because she shouldn't have to regret it.

"I'm sorry,"

"What? No, I'm sorry! I-"

"I'm so sorry. I- it's just..."

Scott swallowed, closing his mouth reluctantly as he realised the girl was trying to figure out what to say next. He was still heavily inclined to apologise again, but did suppose it wasn't his place to cut in once more... After all, he had asked. It'd be beyond rude to dismiss her reply now.

"Well, to answer your question, yes I have been away. It's just...I haven't really talked about it with anyone? And to be honest, I'm not even really sure what I would even say?"

Nodding slowly, Scott was careful not to say anything again. Something, he noticed, had shifted behind the girl's blue eyes when she'd started talking, and it didn't seem like she was anywhere near done just yet... But it was nothing like the way he assumed he looked himself, when he'd ramble on. She looked much sadder. And yet more relieved.

If the boy had known that this was the emotional response he'd be getting only from her eyes after asking that question, then he wouldn't have done it at this time. It didn't feel fair to her. In fact, maybe he wouldn't have ever done it: because even though he was still as curious, and constantly as overwhelmed by the wish to make sure everyone was alright as he'd always been... had he not also learned that people were not all like himself? Some did not want to talk. Some really wanted to be alone.

Some had things going on in their lives that he would never be able to help, anyway.

The last part, of course, only made itself more evident as a fact as Amadea explained why she had been away for so long:

"I-well the simple answer is that my father passed away."

Ah.

Now, the fact is that Scott did listen to the rest of her answer, he really did- but his mind still felt as if stuck at those first hurried words. And understandably so.

It was strange, the way these things made you feel... Both serious, because it was, and silly- because of everything else that had dared bothered you up until this point. It all as if leaves you. The girl in front of him now was describing actual pain... Not disappointment, not loneliness: pain. And Scott felt a wave of empathy engulf him as he realised he recognised it.

He knew that shift behind her eyes.

"You.. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Scott was well aware that the words sounded horribly meagre, especially as this was the third and fourth time in a row he uttered them to her in some degree, as well as because of his lowered voice... but the truth was that he was sorry. Shocked, too, of course, that this had all come so suddenly- but more than anything he felt sorry. Just like he felt sorry for Silas, and just like he felt sorry for Ben.

The shameful kind of sorry you feel, when you know you'll never truly understand a person. No matter how much you might want to.

Because he did want to.

Before, Scott had started talking with Amadea mainly because she was a stranger. Because she'd seemed friendly, and because he'd needed someone to distract him... But now, as he began to notice more and more of his own thoughts in her every word, it was as if she had managed to unlock all of him. Lucky girl.

"I... Do you want to sit?"

He was being careful, keeping her option to yell No! Absolutely not! as open as possible... They were as good as strangers, still, weren't they? Yet the desperation he'd felt about her keeping him company had swiftly been replaced by an equally strong desperation to keep her company, instead...

"Because I can sit! And, uh... I can talk. But you know that already, don't you? ...I can also not talk. By which I mean I can listen. If you'd like."

Scott didn't have a proper end to that sentence. Hopefully, he'd find one to his next.

The loss of a father...

End of thread.