i. about || ii. relationships || iii. roleplays || iv. trunk || v. misc || vi. poetry journal || vii. through the years

i am almost always down to thread, feel free to owl me or message me on discord at dear lady disdain#8105 if you're interested (or just wanna chat!)

ABOUT.

PERSONALITY.

Asteria is, for want of a better word, a bit of a disaster. She's enthusiastic, but prone to snapping; eager, but quiet. Her mouth gets the better of her more often than not, her filter faulty and ready to get her in trouble. While she likes people, adores them really when they get close enough, she tends to shut herself off, something that she's trying to work on. But she is stubborn, unrelenting and unwilling to forgive or forget for long spans of time. Her tendency to snap is just a manifestation of something bigger in her personality: her compulsion to simply do things because they are there and possible, as a result of her impulse control being ill-restrained and constantly on the fritz. If there is a tree she wants to climb she will, if there is a place to poke her nose into, she will, and if there is a question to ask? She will ask it. 

The girl, even at her young age, is terrified of bringing harm to others, something that is directly at odds with this poor level of impulse control. She values promises and loyalty, wanting to ensure that no one ever breaks either, terrified of the ramifications if they do. There is also this strange, childish  urge to be seen as cool, to hold herself as aloof, which she often fails at spectacularly. She is a muddle of harsh edges and melancholic thoughts, trying to strike a balance between the two extremes.

Currently, she is filled with a mix of anger and anxiety at the wizarding world. While she finds it fascinating, she is also achingly aware that her status as a half-blood has made her a target of ire for her mother's pureblood family (if they were to learn that she exists). She is homesick, scared, but still filled with wonder. 

APPEARANCE.

Standing at 4'9", Asteria is still growing into her own. Her energy is that of a dancers - just as likely to look like she is held up in graceful poise by a mess of a strings as she is to look like said strings have been cut, slumping down and into herself. The girl is half-Grecian, half-Japanese, with slightly dark skin and shoulder length hair that curls outwards if even exposed to the slightest amount of humidity. 

Fashion-wise, she is also still developing her understanding of what she likes. Her wardrobe at the moment is a bizarre mix of soft skirts and sweaters, intermingled with jeans and tights ripped to shreds from her more active hobbies. She tends to wear sweaters that dwarf her slightly. In addition, many of her shoes are slightly too large, but this is less out of choice and more as a result of her dad trying to be economical and buy her shoes that she can wear in the future, even if now they cause her to trip more than she would like. 

BEFORE HOGWARTS.

One could say that the story starts here: a small apartment, on the edges of Boston. In the building, a toddler waddles towards an open door, small hands hefting up a black cat plushie towards the sound of arguing voices. Of course, others might claim they’re wrong, arguing that the story starts eight years later, as the girl who was once a toddler screams bloody murder in a living room an ocean away. Some even claim the story started hundreds of years ago, that time and lineages have been swirling together to reach this point. No matter the perspective, the story has started. The girl, once a toddler, not yet quite a teen, stands bone-dry in the rain without an umbrella. Her name is Asteria Kurokawa and she is burning inside.

Not literal burning of course. That would be too simple. No, this is the burn of betrayal,  a howling vicious thing awakening, cracking open one solid ruby eye as rumblings of stone and steam begin. She stands in the rain and does not feel it. Her body shakes, steam rising where the rain pelts her small frame.

Up until this point she was a normal child, prone to anger and impulsivity more than some, but with a temperament that inclined her to be curious and eager to discover. Now though, her anger rolls over, fogs her mind, leaves the next few days a blur. This is the cost of discovery. As a child, Asteria had known three things about her mother: she was Grecian, her family was evil (or “dark” as her father tended to call them - she never understood why until this point), and her father would not ever talk about her beyond that. Of course, she asked questions - she was blunt and curious, overwhelming her father with inquiries, to which he did not reply.

Today, she has learned the truth. Her mother’s family were dark wizards from America. Her mother and father had met in Boston as young adults - her father a muggle college student, her mother rebelling against her family and attempting to throw herself into muggle culture as much as she could. They had Asteria and then her mother was pulled back into the machinations of her family, leaving Asteria and her father when Asteria was two years old. In the aftermath, Asteria’s father moved to London, taking up a coding job and Asteria grew up in general ignorance of the magical world, with a loving father. There were trips to the farmer’s market and museums, home cooked meals, and a constant warm sense of love.

But then she performed magic for the first time. It was an innocuous thing, her and her father gardening in the backyard of their first-floor flat. He turned the hose towards her, spraying her with water as a joke and she -- reacted. The water turned away from her, bending in mid-air in a sustained flow that was unnatural in every way possible. In a way that was calm but cold, in a manner the young girl had never seen, her father methodically turned off the hose, dropped it in the ground, and said, “We need to talk. Inside.”

She followed him in, and as a storm built outside he explained her family’s history, magic, and the fact that she might have to leave for school. As he talked, a chill filled her, which cracked and turned to slowly simmering anger at the secrets that had been kept from her. Now, her joyful temperament has dimmed - she is quicker to snap, quicker to argue. She does not trust authority - but she does not trust counter-authorities either. In her heart of hearts she wants to be kind, she wants to help, to build something that she will be proud of, but for now she is a house on fire, slowly crumbing from the inside, waiting for the flame to die out and a new structure to arise from the old.

As fall creeps in, the girl walks into the magical world, her eyes set forward, one hand clutching her father’s as they walk through the wall, but still pointedly ignoring his calls of goodbye as she boards the train.

WAND: 21.8 cm chestnut wood and snallygaster heartstring.

WOOD.

Chestnut is a most curious, multi-faceted wood, which varies greatly in its character depending on the wand core, and takes a great deal of colour from the personality that possesses it. The wand of chestnut is attracted to witches and wizards who are skilled tamers of magical beasts, those who possess great gifts in Herbology, and those who are natural fliers.

[source]

CORE. Not quite dragon and not quite bird, a wand with snallygaster heartstring is considered a jack of all trades, with a penchant for defensive spells. Curiosity still works its way into this wand, and this wand seeks an owner with matching curiosity. Overall, the owner if this wand is an optimistic seeker of excitement who casts spells of most kinds effectively. Another well-known  quality of snallygaster wand owners is their speed, often excelling in physical activities and sports.  [source]

LIKES. chocolate dogs camping hot soup glitter skateboarding poetry

DISLIKES. falsehoods miscommunication ice cream caterpillars having to keep secrets the color blue the taste of coffee

tried to tell the grown-ups
about the storm clouds, the weather in my head
hadn't learned the word for melancholy yet

RELATIONSHIPS.

PARENTS.

Melinoe "Mel" Lykaios Mel is an unknown in Asteria's life, a mother that left when she young, for reason still unknown to the girl. What Asteria does know is that her mother is the heir to the Lykaios family, a pureblood family from America, known for their... darker dealings, specifically around uncovering ancient magic and breeding poisonous plants. If and when the pair meet, Asteria is unsure of how she'll react.

Ren Kurokawa Ren is a Muggle computer programmer, who met Mel when the pair of them were in college. He and Asteria generally have a close relationship, although the fact that he never told her about the wizarding world has soured her feelings towards him for the time being. He's overprotective, but affectionate, trying to keep the young girl from her side of the family that might do her harm.

HOGWARTS.

Gem Stuart || friend

Reducio

In her book, Gem is incredibly cool. She thinks that he seems nice, he likes her poetry, and he wants them to start a band? That's all the makings of a good friendship.

Janus Lumley || awkward acquaintance

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She's not quite sure where she stands with Janus, considering they met while she was sobbing in the Library. Still, there's the potential for friendship in anything, yeah?

George Henry || friend

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The two met while Asteria was stuck in a tree, and she caused the two of them to topple from it, potentially setting the tone for their friendship. She think's he's strange, but is quite charmed by his oddness.

ROLEPLAYS.

「✔」: completed 「☐」: on-going「 ✘ 」: abandoned/closed

FIRST YEAR.

Reducio

✔ sorting ceremony 2019-2020 || open
↳ in which asteria is deep in her feelings.

✘ into the badger's den || open
↳ welcome to hufflepuff, hope you survive the experience. 

✔ lost in the woods and alone in the world too || pv; janus lumley
↳ sometimes, emotional breakdowns in libraries can make you new friends.

✘ rising black smoke || pv; marla quinlan
↳ being late to class isn't always the worst thing in the world. there are even worse things that can happen.

✘ dimly lit || pv; thea knott
↳ an encounter in a darkened common room; an escape aborted.

✘ the book that beat the speed reader || pv; saskia nicholson
↳ help is sought out about  wizarding history.

✘ hufflepuff pride party || open
↳ time to rep the black and yellow! (that is, until a party crasher or two arrives).

✘ quaquaquaqua with white beard || pv; janus lumley
↳ potions with an unwilling partner never go well.

✔ take up your guitar and try this at home || pv; gem stuart
↳ who knew that guitar lessons could get so emotional?

✘ signed, sealed, and lost in the post || pv; rosie parker
↳ letters to a stranger.

☐ double dare you || pv; katherine cobwebbe
↳ a journal is lost and dares are exchanged.

✔ branches burst abloom || pv; george henry
↳ two hufflepuffs meet in a tree; injuries ensue.

☐ bruises burst abroke || pv; george henry
↳ after injuries comes healing.

✔ slytherin vs. hufflepuff || pv
↳ first game of the year.

✘ if you got time anyway || pv; adrian calhoun
↳ halloween candy is exchanged and a letter is pondered.

✘ elegance at its finest || pv; brielle gray
↳ asteria's late night wanderings often bring her to the strangest places.

✘ dress swap! girl's night || open
↳ in which asteria is a fool (and maybe develops a bit of a crush).

✘ the masquerade ball || open
↳ in which asteria is a fool, pt ii.

✔ i love everybody because i love you || solo
↳ asteria acquires a cat.

☐ letters on a grey day || pv; griseldis edelhardt
↳ a chance encounter in the owlery. 

✘ on cats and collisions || pv; margo white
↳ eglantine gets mischievous.

✔ some rue for you and some for me || solo
↳ asteria gets stood up and does some gardening.

✔ well we are too young, and they are too old || pv; gem stuart
↳ in which a band is formed.

☐ much ado about charms || pv; jack warren
↳ a group project takes an unexpected twist (that includes fireworks).

☐ an inky situation || pv; enoch weiss
↳ asteria tries to study. it goes badly. 

✔ hufflepuff vs. gryffindor || pv
↳ second game of the year! asteria still sucks as a keeper!

☐ screws fall out all the time || pv; group thread
↳ inattention is such a pesky thing. 

☐ schrödinger's cat lady || pv; catriona staverly
↳ of cats and tears (?).

☐ christmas is a necessity || pv; headliner team
↳ a christmas party of strangers.

MISC.
(a place for art, silly edits, and the like)

• asteria's (hypothetical) ipod (an ever-evolving playlist)
• memes and dumb text posts that fit asteria:

Reducio

JUST PUTTING WORDS ON A FEELING.
(excerpts from asteria's poetry notebook)

OMEN.

Reducio

SUGAR SHARDS.

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FOR THIS.

Reducio

no one's fated for this
for life or like or dreams 
no one's fated for anything

bare knuckles on sun-bleached wood
hands running through hair
(his or hers or mine or yours?)
it's all the same in the end
just blood and bone and life and death

just raw edges and bitter endings
just candy melting on the tongue;
too sweet, too slow
the salty rot of tears held too long
can fill tubs, can fill oceans

it's not written in the stars
never was, never will be
it's just here, just now
hands grappling together
grit on skin
the specter of aches to come

THROUGH THE YEARS.

FIRST YEAR.

SECOND-THIRD YEAR.

FOURTH-FIFTH YEAR.

SIXTH YEAR.

SEVENTH YEAR.

ONWARDS.