How could he be strong? Eris wasn’t sure what strength was, anymore. But, she was sure why everyone needed to be strong. In a place like Hogwarts, in a world as dangerous and painful as the one they lived in, personal strength was all that they had. Friends could and would be ripped away from you, just as Dorian had been taken permanently from Eris. Getting hurt was common. There was always an influx of things that could go wrong, in this world of theirs. Without strength to get through, there was no reason to get out of bed and face the next day.
“We have to be strong. Because without strength, we aren’t anything but scared kids with no purpose, just trying to survive.” Eris said softly, falling silent as Kaegen asked more questions, the pain in his eyes startling enough that Eris was silenced for a long while.
“Whatever you do, I’ll help you with it,” Eris vowed then, a sombre infliction in her words, as she looked at Kaegen. She tucked a strand of matted hair behind her ear, the dirt from having smashed at the walls making her hair look even more tangled than usual. Relishing the ache in her hand as she moved it to tuck hair behind her ear, Eris turned to fully face Kaegen.
Leadership wasn’t always her forte. When it came to Kaegen, however, it seemed that Eris was the one in the front seat. She was the fire, and Kaegen was usually the cooling ice to her fire. Now that his spark was diminished, Eris realized she had no opposition to whatever crazy ideas she suggested. She had no voice of strange reason to contemplate her actions and add to conversations with bizarre comments about magical creatures and the sage wisdom that could be achieved through staring intently at bizarre beasts. Everything was up to her. Which, was an impossible amount of power. Helping someone she had inadvertently broken was a terrifying process, so Eris tried to proceed with care. To look back was to be lost in her own guilt. All Eris could do was trust herself, and the slim chance that she still knew Kaegen enough to aid him.
She spoke firmly, trying to make her words sound like they were rehearsed and well thought out, even if she was making things up as she went. “We’ll go to Hogsmeade. See if we can get you blood lollipops. Then we can go to the Three broomsticks and ask them for their steak blood. When do you want to go?” She was willing to get up and sneak out, whenever. If he chose to go now, Eris would gladly leave the school to help a friend. She’d do anything to help regain Kaegen’s former spark, even with the insanity that encompassed that. Not just for him, but also to alleviate the still fresh mental image of him lunging towards her, fangs and inhibitions bared.
Once again, Eris was not correct about how one got a bloody steak. But, she was trying her best to help. She didn’t get up, even if she wanted nothing more than to grab her map and tug Kaegen straight to Hogsmeade to try and solve his problems. She hated seeing him suffering. She hated seeing anyone suffering if it wasn’t justified in her own brain. Eris had a very black and white pattern of thinking. Those who were kind to her deserved nothing but good tidings in their own life, and those who were bad deserved the same kind of pain Eris had been through. This pattern of thinking, while inadvertently wrong, had never been corrected. And, it was this thinking that led to Eris’s one-sided determination to”fix” Kaegen’s emotions.
Seeing Kaegen in such a pathetic place took Eris back to her own second year and how miserable it had been. It made her hands turn to fists in her robe pockets, her body reacting to the memories of her own helplessness. What she had really wanted was someone to support her, then. It was a shot in the dark, because Eris had no idea what Kaegen wanted-- ever. In her first year, she’d had faint guesses about what Kaegen wanted or was feeling. But, now that distance had rusted away at their friendship, Kaegen felt miles away from her. It didn’t help that he seemed so utterly betrayed by her. Yet, support was still support. Even if came from someone who was a horrid friend.
Instead of sitting, Eris pushed herself upwards, putting her weight on her knees, feet flat against the ground. Now in an ideal position, Eris gingerly opened her sore arms in a universal gesture that could easily be acknowledged as an open invitation for Kaegen to come forward and receive a hug.
The blood on her hands had dried, which she assumed was enough to stop the hunger pains that Kaegen was referring to. She didn’t really know how being half-vampire worked, but Eris knew that hugs were splendid distractions. Eris hadn’t been hugged very many times in her short life, but knew that it was helpful when someone was sad.
If he didn’t accept the offer for a hug, then Eris would just make a fool of herself by holding her arms out. Though, looking like a fool around Kaegen wasn’t a new thing. Eris was sure he wasn’t going to judge her that much. She was sure, wasn’t she? A faint part of her, a part that Eris refused to acknowledge, was worried that she was putting more strain on their friendship by even bothering to try and hug him. Eris wasn’t sure what to do to help him.
Maybe there was more troubling him than just this conversation. There was more that was wrong besides his hunger for blood, if Kaegen’s comments about not being strong enough from earlier were to be believed. “But, what’s going on for you? What have I missed over the past year? Clearly, I’ve missed a lot.” Eris remarked, managing a muted smile. “We can catch up now if you want. Or go to get some b-blood” She stuttered over the words, finally realizing how strange it was to be attempting to buy blood for a friend. “Or, I can leave you alone.” Eris finished, sheepishly.
sorry not sorry bout' what i said
STA: 6 EVA: 7 STR: 1 WIS: 8 ACC 9 ACC: 9
abilities: transfig DC -5